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Have You Ever Completely Given Up On A Relationship?


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I always used to find myself in relationships for too long, because I am extremely loyal, even when I felt unhappy emotionally, unloved, and losing that love. The love and care I gave usually backfired. I would voice my concern but was immediately shut out with an argument.. and I dislike conflict...Recently an ex of mine, apologized, begged for forgiveness. I responded that I already forgave them, but I just can't forget. They message me almost every day with "We could have a fresh start, I'm clean. I would never treat you like that again" etc... I dont want to feel at fault for jeopardizing their sobriety even if they are clean, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want them to understand that the past is the past and it's time for them to move on. So I'm just looking for wording to get it across, I can be assertive but like I said, I just don't want this to fire back as well. ❤ Thanks all. 

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1 hour ago, brittniisundae said:

I always used to find myself in relationships for too long, because I am extremely loyal, even when I felt unhappy emotionally, unloved, and losing that love. The love and care I gave usually backfired. I would voice my concern but was immediately shut out with an argument.. and I dislike conflict...Recently an ex of mine, apologized, begged for forgiveness. I responded that I already forgave them, but I just can't forget. They message me almost every day with "We could have a fresh start, I'm clean. I would never treat you like that again" etc... I dont want to feel at fault for jeopardizing their sobriety even if they are clean, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want them to understand that the past is the past and it's time for them to move on. So I'm just looking for wording to get it across, I can be assertive but like I said, I just don't want this to fire back as well. ❤ Thanks all. 

I also experienced similar things like this before and personal it kinda hurts for me because this man I was with came back messaging while he was still in a relationship and I was disappointed so I wrote a whole paragraph about how this isn’t right and focus on that women that is already in his life and after that I blocked him because he’s already in a relationship and he didn’t know how to give up. you are right, I’m happy you’re strong enough to get through all of this, keep looking forward and see the nice future ahead of you and waiting for it to be true ☀️

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4 minutes ago, Minty said:

I also experienced similar things like this before and personal it kinda hurts for me because this man I was with came back messaging while he was still in a relationship and I was disappointed so I wrote a whole paragraph about how this isn’t right and focus on that women that is already in his life and after that I blocked him because he’s already in a relationship and he didn’t know how to give up. you are right, I’m happy you’re strong enough to get through all of this, keep looking forward and see the nice future ahead of you and waiting for it to be true ☀️

Thank you so much for understanding, and responding. ❤ I'm really struggling with the balance of right words. If they continue, i know I won't like it, but I will have to block completely. I don't like to do that to people, I know we had a past but i want them to have a positive future, just not with me. Thank you again 🌟 I appreciate you!

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On 5/28/2021 at 12:33 AM, brittniisundae said:

I always used to find myself in relationships for too long, because I am extremely loyal, even when I felt unhappy emotionally, unloved, and losing that love. The love and care I gave usually backfired. I would voice my concern but was immediately shut out with an argument.. and I dislike conflict...Recently an ex of mine, apologized, begged for forgiveness. I responded that I already forgave them, but I just can't forget. They message me almost every day with "We could have a fresh start, I'm clean. I would never treat you like that again" etc... I dont want to feel at fault for jeopardizing their sobriety even if they are clean, I don't want to hurt them, I don't want to hurt anyone... I just want them to understand that the past is the past and it's time for them to move on. So I'm just looking for wording to get it across, I can be assertive but like I said, I just don't want this to fire back as well. ❤ Thanks all. 

The actions of another is never your fault. They make their own choices and “because” is the excuse. As time goes on someone should be more loving and kind to you as ur partner. It’s crazy how much negativity can let slide bc of this thing called love.
9/10 relationships I’ve been in I’m moving right along no problem. So yes I haven given up. No one really fails the relationship, just means the situation wasn’t the right fit.

Dont use someone else’s downfall as a “because” for you to stay where you aren’t completely happy. 😄

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First off, I just want to say that their sobriety doesn't have anything to do with you. So worst case scenario, if you reject them, and they decide to go use, then that is their choice. As a former addict, I know what it is to make excuses just so that I could use again. Oh, this t*rrible thing happened so now I can go use. And that's just what they were...excuses. Because I wasn't ready to give up my addiction yet, so I would make up excuses and place blame on others as to the reasons why. When someone is truly ready to be free of an addiction, then they own up to their actions, stop making excuses, and stop placing blame. True sobriety is about coming to terms with yourself and has nothing to do with anyone else. So please don't feel like that weight is on your shoulders.

Second of all, I think the best thing you can do is be honest. And definitely don't put them off by saying som*thing like "I'm just not ready to be in a relationship right now." Because then they will think they have a chance in the future. If you truly are done with that relationship and there is never a chance again, then they need to hear that, however hard that might be. 

Aaand I'm just now realizing you wrote this 2 months ago and have probably already dealt with the situation. I'll leave my response though because maybe it will mean som*thing to someone else some day.

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yeah I had an ex that betrayed me pretty badly.. It was a very one sided relationship; I gave her everything. Unfortunately, I was always a background thought or an object for her. She cheated on me a lot and no matter how much I gave for her, it took a really long time for me to realize she never valued me as a person. She's now dating my other ex who also cheated on me- almost got preggers with one of my ex friends.. (my life's weird) The world really is small haha; long story short I don't talk to her anymore. 🤪

imagine ariana grande GIF by Republic Records

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