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Is It Bad To Date Selectively? (with Race)


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I feel like it depends. In my area (I need to move 🙄) I hear "I just don't think it's right". What that two people love each other? A lot of people of all different races do have preferences to a specific race etc, but I believe if you love a person, it's more deep than how they look. So you could have a preference but still fall for someone out of your preference zone. 

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I never understood why some people refuse to date someone who's a different race than them or having problems with someone else dating a different race. Seems a bit racist to me. We're all humans so the color of someone's skin shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter.

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6 minutes ago, heyitskaitlind said:

I never understood why some people refuse to date someone who's a different race than them or having problems with someone else dating a different race. Seems a bit ****** to me. We're all humans so the color of someone's skin shouldn't matter and it doesn't matter.

Yes!! ❤ another high five to you. 

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I'm very much a love is love kind of person and I think it's just distinguishing preference to prejudice, Say I have a set type which is my preference but I would not rule out dating anyone if we clicked, But I still have a preference. But if I were to say I wont date xyz because I think that is wrong then we are stepping into prejudice. 

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Well seeing as nobody has seen what everybody from a specific race looks like, if you say you are not att**cted to that race, what you're really saying is that you are not att**cted to the strereotypical view of what you think that race looks like, which, yes, is ******.

 

On 5/28/2021 at 6:10 AM, Sierra said:

Well seeing as nobody has seen what everybody from a specific race looks like, if you say you are not att**cted to that race, what you're really saying is that you are not att**cted to the strereotypical view of what you think that race looks like, which, yes, is ******.

R*cist being the last word ofc

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I think there's a comfort factor that can't be ignored. People of the same race have the same cultural experience. It's hard to know, I guess it's more about motive here. Are they saying you find all people who aren't that race unattractive or just that you find redheads super attractive? It gets sketchy when leans more to "I could never date a person who's X".

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1 hour ago, Rayn said:

I think there's a comfort factor that can't be ignored. People of the same race have the same cultural experience. It's hard to know, I guess it's more about motive here. Are they saying you find all people who aren't that race unattractive or just that you find redheads super attractive? It gets sketchy when leans more to "I could never date a person who's X".

I don't think that holds up at all. Someone who comes from Sweden is gonna have a VASTLY different cultural experience than someone who comes from Hungary or Italy. Someone who comes from Jamaica is gonna have a vastly different cultural experience than someone from Kenya.

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4 hours ago, Sierra said:

I don't think that holds up at all. Someone who comes from Sweden is gonna have a VASTLY different cultural experience than someone who comes from Hungary or Italy. Someone who comes from Jamaica is gonna have a vastly different cultural experience than someone from Kenya.

For sure. I phrased that poorly. I'm not saying all people with the same skin color have the same experience. Just  that for SOME people they may find they date people of the same background as themselves;. This doesn't make  them biased. Though you would argue they're bias to the culture they're familiar with. 

The question was whether dating only one race is  preference or bias. I'd argue it could be either, you  need more than that one fact to know someone's beliefs.

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8 minutes ago, Rayn said:

For sure. I phrased that poorly. I'm not saying all people with the same skin color have the same experience. Just  that for SOME people they may find they date people of the same background as themselves;. This doesn't make  them biased. Though you would argue they're bias to the culture they're familiar with. 

The question was whether dating only one race is  preference or bias. I'd argue it could be either, you  need more than that one fact to know someone's beliefs.

Well I would argue that if you grew up in the same country/area, there's a chance you share a similar background, regardless of race. I grew up in the midwest and I would undoubtedly relate more culturally to a white midwesterner than I would to a black person from an african country. Culture does not equal race. 

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1 hour ago, Sierra said:

Well I would argue that if you grew up in the same country/area, there's a chance you share a similar background, regardless of race. I grew up in the midwest and I would undoubtedly relate more culturally to a white midwesterner than I would to a black person from an african country. Culture does not equal race. 

While I agree culture does not equate to race, I do not agree that growing up in the same area of a country does either. Speaking for the US, many of our cities are heavily segregated by race and economic status. Within the same city there can be a multitude of cultural experiences that can be influenced by race among other factors. 

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9 minutes ago, Rayn said:

While I agree culture does not equate to race, I do not agree that growing up in the same area of a country does either. Speaking for the US, many of our cities are heavily segregated by race and economic status. Within the same city there can be a multitude of cultural experiences that can be influenced by race among other factors. 

You're missing the point. Several cultures can exist in the same area, of course. But for instance, I grew up in a majority white area. My "culture" is basically generic American culture, like the people I grew up with. So if you're saying someone only wants to date people who are their race bc they share their culture, that still could include people like me who aren't white. So what's the excuse then? 

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 I mean in that case it could very well be conscious or unconscious ******. I certainly wasn't claiming that saying only being open to dating one race isn't ******. I was pointing out that people can have preferences that are intermingled with race but aren't ******. 

I wasn't missing the point. You claimed geography created homogenous culture, which isn't inherently true. 

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41 minutes ago, Rayn said:

 I mean in that case it could very well be conscious or unconscious ******. I certainly wasn't claiming that saying only being open to dating one race isn't ******. I was pointing out that people can have preferences that are intermingled with race but aren't ******. 

I wasn't missing the point. You claimed geography created homogenous culture, which isn't inherently true. 

I said, and I quote, "there's a chance you share a similar [cultural] background, regardless of race," if you grew up in the same area. That is not a false statement. I didn't say everyone who lives in the same place has the same culture. But your immediate social environment influences and shapes your culture. Let's use Los Angeles for an example, a city I know well. The people who live in Beverly Hills have a very disctinct culture from those that live in Echo Park or Venice Beach. Does that mean every single person in these areas have the same background? Of course not. But overall, it is not incorrect to say location is connected to culture.

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Yes, it is bad to date selectively based solely on race. If you find a person att**ctive, both physically and /or personality wise, then it shouldn't matter what their race is. att**ction is att**ction, so just go for it.

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I’m not like that at all, but I’ve heard quite a few people say “I’m only att**cted to [insert race here]” or “I’m not att**cted to [insert another race]” and a couple of people comparing it to not wanting to date trans person and that not meaning you’re transphobic, then apply the same logic to not wanting to date or preferring certain races and that not making them ******.

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If you're going around saying "I wont date someone because they're Asian", or some other race then it's pretty sc*mmy.

Primarily because it's fairly closed minded. "I think X race does/att**cts this, so I want to stay away from X race". Secondarily because it reduces people to stereotypes. 

Yet, even with all that said, people will do what they want and they have a right to be "happy" -- even if it's bigoted happiness. Better to realize you're only att**cted to certain races and openly pursue them, then pretend to be a good person, in my opinion. Though I feel that if people were open about only being att**cted to certain races...they'd find themselves uncomfortably close to groups they wouldn't typically associate with.  

 

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