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When your friends started getting distant?


Hitchens
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My best friend started getting distant back in 2019 after something that happened between us and my family and I just left her alone even though I was upset about it and missed her. Then we didn't talk or see each other for 2 years but now we have been reunited so everything is good! If someone becomes distant, I'll try to talk to them but if that doesn't work, I just leave them alone and hope life works it out.

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31 minutes ago, Kaitlind said:

My best friend started getting distant back in 2019 after something that happened between us and my family and I just left her alone even though I was upset about it and missed her. Then we didn't talk or see each other for 2 years but now we have been reunited so everything is good! If someone becomes distant, I'll try to talk to them but if that doesn't work, I just leave them alone and hope life works it out.

I have a friend that comes and goes out of my life. Known him since the 3rd grade. He gets excited when we run into each other in public and wants me to come out and spend time with him & I never do. Then we talk for a few days and then he quits texting me after a while and we go a few more years without any contact. I just don't want to take the time because I have my life and he has his. 

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9 minutes ago, Hitchens said:

I have a friend that comes and goes out of my life. Known him since the 3rd grade. He gets excited when we run into each other in public and wants me to come out and spend time with him & I never do. Then we talk for a few days and then he quits texting me after a while and we go a few more years without any contact. I just don't want to take the time because I have my life and he has his. 

Well everyone is busy and we do have our own lives. The thing is my best friend and I want to be in each other's lives, but not everyone feels the same. Sometimes people change and move on from each other. It's sad but that's how life is sometimes.

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49 minutes ago, Kaitlind said:

Well everyone is busy and we do have our own lives. The thing is my best friend and I want to be in each other's lives, but not everyone feels the same. Sometimes people change and move on from each other. It's sad but that's how life is sometimes.

I enjoyed his company when we were younger. But because I know him and know how he is. I can only take him in small doses. I could care less whether I was or wasn't his friend because he's disappointed me many times.  If I am to be his friend. He's exactly where I want him to be which is at a distance where he can't annoy me. 

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I had a best friend in high school. We had known each other since grammar school and were inseparable throughout high school. We were going to move to New York together and she was going to be a professional dancer and I was going to be an actress. Lol we planned that for years. 
The plans changed, as they often do and I ended up pregnant ( I would do it all over again to have my son). She was going to be his “aunt” and she was there for his birth. I thought she’d watch him grow up. Then she moved out of town for college, ok. Then she moved way out of state to marry this guy she met on a cruise, Ok. I was surprised when I was not asked to be her maid of honor. Things really changed after that. She and her husband eventually moved to New York and so did the girl we went to school with who was her maid of honor. 
I tried via text and social media to continue our friendship through the years but she didn’t put much effort in. I tried being there for her whenever I found out she was going through a hard time. We just drifted apart. My k***s are my world and she never even wanted k***s. She posts constantly about that other chick and how they are best friends and how much she loves her. It hurts but what are ya gonna do? I tried reaching out once more last July but she never responded. She knows I’m about to be a first time grandmother but hasn’t checked in to see how that’s going or anything. 
I had hoped we’d always be close but it didn’t happen. I just have to be a grown up and be happy for her that she has a new bff and that she’s happy. It’s interesting though because the chick who she is now best friends with, the one we went to school with and was her maid of honor, throughout high school we all were friends but this girl always seemed to kind of want what I had. Not that I was the s***t or anything but if I started dating a guy she’d start to flirt with him. She seemed like she wanted in on the friendship I had with my bff. Well now she has it lol. I know I sound ch*ldish and bitter, maybe I am. It’s something I have to get over though. Holding a grudge doesn’t help anyone. I did try to reach out and explain my feelings one time to my “best friend “. She seemed like she understood and wanted to make more of an effort to stay close but it didn’t happen. I know she’s come to Georgia several times to visit family but she never has let me know that she was here. That says a lot. 

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  • Elites

I think that it can be a healthy thing. 

A lot of people grow out of their old ways, become new people, and it might not even be you - it might be that they are focusing on themselves. 

I have friends that I haven’t spoken to in months or years but when we speak again we pick right back up. 

It may be a job change, a relationship change, mental health change, new place to live - I know I can be unresponsive and distant to even my closest friends without meaning to. 

I’m usually going through something and don’t want to even discuss it, go into it, type it all out, or embarrass myself yet again. 

Sometimes distancing is a good thing. And most times, it isn’t you. 

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  • Elites

This was hard for me when I was younger. I always blamed myself. Always thought it was something I said or did. Getting older helped me cope with a lot of that. Once you reach a certain age you just don't care anymore. People change and our habits change. People look out for what is appealing to them and good for them because I would do the same. 

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