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I'm scared to make this topic but I gotta ask, am I the only one who feels something amiss here? (age gaps in relationships)


Kitsunebliss
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Just the first couple, the first 4 minutes and 30 seconds is as far as I could make it. I kinda wish I did a raw review of this and voiced over my reaction because I went through so many emotions here, starting from "age is just a number they're both consenting adul-" to "OOOF WHAT DID HE SAY LMAO" and then 4:30 comes around and I was no longer in my computer chair, i was on the floor.  Something just feels off lmao 

 

nvm this video is starting to make me feel off. idk why, usually i'm not critical of something as trivial as an age gap between adults, but getting to the second video (17 years old vs 49 years old) i'm no longer laughing. Idk. It's so difficult to balance not wanting to be harsh/hateful or judgmental but also just feeling something amiss and wanting to stand against what feels amiss

I feel like this forum is  a good place to get other people's view point because there's the Onision (hi senpai!) controversy with "age gaps" and I'd say 100% of us here would agree there was ZERO issues there (ie, Onision did nothing legally or morally wrong) and it was all b.s, then I get into videos like this and I feel differently. I cannot possibly interpret people's intentions through the internet, but something just feels off with this video... 

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I've talked to a woman who was 27 that was married to a guy that was 56.

She likes older men because they're mature, financial stability, and more responsible as most of the younger men were broke, worked dead end low paying jobs, couldn't afford anything, and just wanted s*ex.

In her case. She just wanted to skip the bulls*hit and get a real man. Which she did. 

With those key issues being what a lot of young men do. I can see why women in their early 20s prefer seasoned older men. They don't want to put up with an un established man c*hild and rightly so. 

 

So if you want to go off and get with a guy who is in his 30s or 40s, whom is financially stable, and having the appropriate priorities. By all means. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

Edited by Hitchens
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2 minutes ago, Hitchens said:

I've talked to a woman who was 27 that was married to a guy that was 56. She likes older men because they're mature, financial stability, and more responsible as most of the younger men were broke, worked dead end low paying jobs, couldn't afford anything, and just wanted s*ex.

In her case. She just wanted to skip the bulls*hit and get a real man. Which she did. 

With those key issues being what a lot of young men do. I can see why women in their early 20s prefer seasoned older men. They don't want to put up with an un established man c*hild and rightly so. 

 

So if you want to off and get with a guy who is financially stable, and having the appropriate priorities. By all means. It'll save you a lot of trouble.

See, that's where I'm conflicting. I 100% agree with all this and I went into this video with that mindset, yet something still struck me off. My cousin who is a little younger than me (I think she's 27 or 28) is with a man 20 years older than her and I've never felt weird about it, judged her for it, I even think he's a catch. Like zero issues. But something in this particular video just felt "off" to me, if that makes sense? But I recognize I may be mistaken! 

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1 hour ago, Blissful Fox said:

See, that's where I'm conflicting. I 100% agree with all this and I went into this video with that mindset, yet something still struck me off. My cousin who is a little younger than me (I think she's 27 or 28) is with a man 20 years older than her and I've never felt weird about it, judged her for it, I even think he's a catch. Like zero issues. But something in this particular video just felt "off" to me, if that makes sense? But I recognize I may be mistaken! 

I agree. The people in the video display odd behavior. That's probably what landed them there in the first place. 

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I think people consider these things in a case-by-case basis, as long as it's legal and consensual. If you want a partner who's 90 years old with the sole intent of inheriting their money when they d*e, then most people would think that's a bad thing. If you want a partner who's 90 years old because being with them in a romantic way makes you feel better than you have ever felt, and you deeply connect with them in more ways then you thought were possible, and together makes you both better people, then people would understand. 

Although I think there is also a public reaction regarding assumptions about se*. Lots of people assume that at a younger age you NEED a lot of good se*, and that by an older age, you can't do it anymore, and so people in those two age brackets wouldn't be suitable for each other. But I'm sure people in this forum are aware that that's BS

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3 hours ago, Kaitlind said:

I think as long as both people are adults and they're happy, then it shouldn't be anyone else's business. However I agree with you about the 2nd couple but I don't want to be judgemental either. I just don't understand it.

Some s***t makes me cringe... but it's like you said - not our lives.

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I’m not going into legal because to me legal ≠ moral.

My opinion on this is nuanced. Between 14-30 age heavily matters. Because so much is changing so rapidly that even a years difference could mean wildly different experiences and sometimes even physical brain development. You need to be dating as close to your own age as possible during this time, the entire time. 
 

30-60 age doesn’t matter as much here but there are some rules

1) if you gonna go for anyone in the previous bracket they better be 28,29 years old. Anything else you’re a creep with a capital c. 

2) never date anyone your ch*ldren’s age or younger ever. It never in the history of ever wasn’t weird or ended well. 

 

60++ everyone is pretty much in the same pool. Stay out of the other two brackets. But otherwise you’ve earned the right to date anyone in this pool you want. You’re clearly either both old as h**l or some sort of fledgling immortal. 
 

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8 hours ago, Ghostie said:

I’m not going into legal because to me legal ≠ moral.

My opinion on this is nuanced. Between 14-30 age heavily matters. Because so much is changing so rapidly that even a years difference could mean wildly different experiences and sometimes even physical brain development. You need to be dating as close to your own age as possible during this time, the entire time. 
 

30-60 age doesn’t matter as much here but there are some rules

1) if you gonna go for anyone in the previous bracket they better be 28,29 years old. Anything else you’re a creep with a capital c. 

2) never date anyone your ch*ldren’s age or younger ever. It never in the history of ever wasn’t weird or ended well. 

 

60++ everyone is pretty much in the same pool. Stay out of the other two brackets. But otherwise you’ve earned the right to date anyone in this pool you want. You’re clearly either both old as h**l or some sort of fledgling immortal. 
 

to for your input!

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Agreed with Blissful Fox’s post above— legal and moral are two different things. Personally, when I was 17 I dated a man who was 27. This is legal in the state of NY. Although legal, our age gap, especially with me being so young, created many problems that were a bit traumatizing to me lol. I put him on a pedestal, and subconsciously created a complex where I thought since he was the guy who had all his s***t together, I was inferior. And accepted treatment as such. Now being 22, I personally think that m***rs or those on the younger side should avoid large age gaps when it comes to relationships. I am accepting of others in relationships with a large age gap. If a friend of mine were to get in one I’d just tell them to be careful, to not make the same mistakes I did, and never forget their worth (like in any relationship). I’m 22 now and still date older men, but since I know myself better and have gained some insight, I find it fine. Anyways this is just a personal experience/opinion. The morality of it is definitely something that is case by case. 

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On 12/13/2021 at 3:18 PM, Ghostie said:

if you gonna go for anyone in the previous bracket they better be 28,29 years old. Anything else you’re a creep with a capital c. 

When you think you're better than a 36 year old because they are in a relationship with a 27 year old.

Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office

How are your relationships BTW?

Just so you guys know, Ghostie here thinks if you are 24 and want to date a 38 year old that you and your interests are wrong.

Ghostie is more moral/is superior to you. Ghostie herself is actively in a healthy relationship with someone who was born only 10 minutes apart from her because 20 minutes would make her a "creep with a capital C".

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3 hours ago, Admin said:

How are your relationships BTW?

Just so you guys know, Ghostie here thinks if you are 24 and want to date a 38 year old that you and your interests are wrong.

Ghostie is more moral/is superior to you. Ghostie herself is actively in a healthy relationship with someone who was born only 10 minutes apart from her because 20 minutes would make her a "creep with a capital C".

Ruthless 😂

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5 hours ago, Admin said:

When you think you're better than a 36 year old because they are in a relationship with a 27 year old.

Season 4 Episode 3 GIF by The Office

How are your relationships BTW?

Just so you guys know, Ghostie here thinks if you are 24 and want to date a 38 year old that you and your interests are wrong.

Ghostie is more moral/is superior to you. Ghostie herself is actively in a healthy relationship with someone who was born only 10 minutes apart from her because 20 minutes would make her a "creep with a capital C".

jfc lmao i love u so much onision SO f***ING MUCH, like its when u get like this that i love u the most

 

but real talk and with all respect, you should try having discourse w/ people. idk Ghostie but after having recent convos with them here and offsite i don't think they mean as bad as u think. like try conversing with their view, they didn't fully explain themselves well. i dont think they think theres an issues with 27 and 37 honestly, i think there's something we're misunderstanding here cuz the bracket analogy is confusing 

 

which is why i thanked them for the input but didn't agree cuz i wasnt sure what was being said. like it woulda been more productive to just ask 😛 but this is ur kingdom not mine 

Edited by Blissful Fox
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Just now, Admin said:

Ghostie has had multiple warnings on this site. If you saw the history, you'd probably understand.

i saw like 3 things i totally didnt agree w/ you on tho (no offense please don't stab me) 

 

then again I respect the possibility I'm missing a ton of context but idk man they gave me a cute pink fox present on gaiaonline so now they're my bff 

(but really idk whats going on, i just be commenting on what i see)

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On 12/11/2021 at 5:29 PM, Blissful Fox said:

See, that's where I'm conflicting. I 100% agree with all this and I went into this video with that mindset, yet something still struck me off. My cousin who is a little younger than me (I think she's 27 or 28) is with a man 20 years older than her and I've never felt weird about it, judged her for it, I even think he's a catch. Like zero issues. But something in this particular video just felt "off" to me, if that makes sense? But I recognize I may be mistaken! 

 Not all relationships can be understood. The heart wants what it wants. 

 

 

 

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Age in a relationship is really difficult to navigate, unless on a case by case basis, and I think a lot comes down to the expectations of both parties of the relationship. I was 100% not mature enough to be in a serious relationship when I was 23. If I had met a 33 year old wanting to settle down and have k***s, it wouldn't have been appropriate. But I had a friend at school who married and had ch*ldren by 20 with someone much older. I think it's because they were already so mature emotionally by that point that they've been able to have a really happy marriage for almost 10 years now.

I guess this topic does also make me think of the age of consent. It's different all over the world. 18 in India, 14 in China, for example. What if a Chinese 30 year old wants to have se* with a consenting Indian 17 year old? Legally, it would depend on where the act takes place, but morally, what would most people think about it? When you bring the gender of the people involved, public opinion gets a lot more muddled.

I have no answers to anything I'm saying here, just things this thread has made me consider

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10 hours ago, Hitchens said:

 Not all relationships can be understood. The heart wants what it wants. 

 

 

 

i could easily date a dude 10 yrs older than me personally, the issue i had was with the strange controlling dynamic of the first relationship, and in the second one he was still a ***** when they met (30+ year age difference) but i do see what you're saying

Edited by Blissful Fox
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15 minutes ago, Blissful Fox said:

i could easily date a dude 10 yrs older than me personally, the issue i had was with the strange controlling dynamic of the first relationship, and in the second one he was still a ***** when they met (30+ year age difference) but i do see what you're saying

With a 30 year age difference... man... that's gotta be crazy weird. Maybe great for gold diggers I guess.

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