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Has anyone ever lost a parent?


bones
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  • Elites

I lost my mom two years ago, in October 2019.

Since then, my life has been filled with challenges, most of which I have overcome, but other than that.. I can't help but think how many of these situations I would never be in if my mother was still alive.

My dad has always been a notorious a'ss and hasn't helped me with anything since she died, besides stealing her pension and life insurance. 

He hasn't given me a dime of her money, even though that's exactly what she wanted. But then again, I don't want hand-outs. I want guidance. I want help. I want someone to speak up for me when I can't.

I wish I had a parent, I don't consider my father one because he barely speaks to me, says I cannot visit his new home in Florida with his new wife without 'weeks and weeks of advance planning', and I sent him a message about my horrible living situation in September and he chose to ignore me.

I wish I had an elder, or just somebody to guide me sometimes.

I feel so go'ddamn alone.

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2 minutes ago, Admin said:

Would you prefer to have a parent that you hate/know is a really bad person but still have around, or one that you love, but is gone?

I’d rather have a parent that I hate still around. I don’t have to have a relationship with them. You can’t bring back the dead. You can always cut off your parents though.

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4 minutes ago, summerlusk said:

I’d rather have a parent that I hate still around. I don’t have to have a relationship with them. You can’t bring back the dead. You can always cut off your parents though.

So you'd rather have someone around, hurting people, than have a person who did a lot of good for the world (which is why you love them) but is gone? Really?

7 minutes ago, Admin said:

know is a really bad person

^ You'd rather have a really bad person around in place of someone who was actually a good person but is no longer here?

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Just now, Admin said:

So you'd rather have someone around, hurting people, than have a person who did a lot of good for the world (which is why you love them) but is gone? Really?

Well, I wouldn’t want anyone around to hurt anyone. That wasn’t really brought up in your question though. Just that you hated them and they were a bad person, not that they were hurting other people. Maybe if you phrase it that way though.

9 minutes ago, Sheila said:

Lost my Mama in 1994 and my dad in 2002, still miss them Sad Lonely GIF by Pokémon

Exactly. I feel like only people that have experienced this can truly understand how this feels. Same with losing a ch*ld.

15 minutes ago, Admin said:

^ You'd rather have a really bad person around in place of someone who was actually a good person but is no longer here?

No. That’s still a hard thing to say though. That l’d rather my mom be dead. I don’t want either of those things.

It’s like asking someone if they’d rather be an orphan than have s***tty parents. They’re both really f***ed up situations. But I mean, I you’re asking if I’d rather not have some around to hurt other people, then yes I would rather not have someone around that was hurting people and a t*rrible person.

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  • Elites
48 minutes ago, Admin said:

Would you prefer to have a parent that you hate/know is a really bad person but still have around, or one that you love, but is gone?

I have long-term hatred for my father- from the ab**e he made my mother endure, to the constant neglect since she passed away, to being away most of my life (travelling incessantly 300 days out of the year my entire life), being a serial cheater, having a b'astard ch*ld when I was 7 years old with another woman, being the sole reason for my mother's low self esteem, and the reasoning behind her alcoho'lism...

I just want my mother back. I want a REAL parent. The one true parent I had is gone.

46 minutes ago, Admin said:

So you'd rather have someone around, hurting people, than have a person who did a lot of good for the world (which is why you love them) but is gone? Really?

My mom was an angel. I was supposed to be her beneficiary.. but she was too 'incompetent' in the hospital to change it. She had no living will. Everything went to my father- and oh boy did it. He bought a giant house in Florida, wed to the woman he's been having an on-going affair with (without any of my siblings knowledge or mine), took her pension also that she worked over 30 years in Teaching for. 

I have so much animosity toward my father.

I tell people  I have no parents.

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8 minutes ago, bones said:

I just want my mother back. I want a REAL parent. The one true parent I had is gone.

This. I know how you feel. My mom is still here and I love her, but I lost someone that was like a mother to me and I just want her back. 

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  • Mod

I'm very sorry for your loss and I'm sorry about the situation with your dad. The thought of losing my parents is really upsetting and I worry about it sometimes, but I know someday it's going to happen. That's just the way it is because we're all going to d*e someday.

 

1 hour ago, Admin said:

Would you prefer to have a parent that you hate/know is a really bad person but still have around, or one that you love, but is gone?

I'd rather have a parent I love that's gone because although it would hurt that they're gone, it would probably hurt worse having a bad parent that's still around.

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2 hours ago, bones said:

I lost my mom two years ago, in October 2019.

Since then, my life has been filled with challenges, most of which I have overcome, but other than that.. I can't help but think how many of these situations I would never be in if my mother was still alive.

My dad has always been a notorious a'ss and hasn't helped me with anything since she died, besides stealing her pension and life insurance. 

He hasn't given me a dime of her money, even though that's exactly what she wanted. But then again, I don't want hand-outs. I want guidance. I want help. I want someone to speak up for me when I can't.

I wish I had a parent, I don't consider my father one because he barely speaks to me, says I cannot visit his new home in Florida with his new wife without 'weeks and weeks of advance planning', and I sent him a message about my horrible living situation in September and he chose to ignore me.

I wish I had an elder, or just somebody to guide me sometimes.

I feel so go'ddamn alone.

Lost my parents. I believe there is nothing that can fill the hole of a lost loving parent. I never got over I’m trying to learn to cope. In my experience nurturing my self helps. Prematurely losing parents when you aren’t ready can break a person . I can’t imagine being left in a situation like that you may be alone but you are truly strong. 

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On 11/16/2021 at 12:02 PM, Admin said:

Would you prefer to have a parent that you hate/know is a really bad person but still have around, or one that you love, but is gone?

That would be my father. When I lived with my mother. He was rarely ever around. Then when he had physical sole custody of me for 3 years and he was a complete a'sshole who drank too much in the evenings. His wife treated me like crap every chance she got. I came to the conclusion that he just wanted me around for the ch*ld support and tax refund.  So when I decided to move in with my mother. He disowned me. I haven't seen him in 22 years. I did get his number and I did call him after my daughter was born in 2010. I wanted to tell him. But he shut me down, said he was interested, and he told me to have a nice life and then he hung up. It was not a good relationship at all. 

So to answer your question. I'd rather have a parent that I love whom is d'ead and gone. Because I don't want any family member that stresses me out in my life. 

 

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29 minutes ago, Mr.Dawn said:

So to answer your question. I'd rather have a parent that I love whom is d'ead and gone. Because I don't want any family member that stresses me out in my life. 

 

It s*cks when you have both. A parent that you loved and is gone, and the s***tty parent is still alive. IMO, I don’t think unfit parents should have any custody of their k***s, especially sole custody.

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