Jump to content

I think I'm having a meltdown.


Hitchens
 Share

Recommended Posts

So...over the past few months. I've felt my anxiety and stress getting worse and worse. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an absolute panic. I can't catch my breath and my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest. I get this really uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and it just intensifies which causes my mind to race and puts me on the edge of worry. 

I've been dealing with these feelings from going to work and putting up with the usual bs and coming home to the neighbor's k'ids trespassing in my yard on a daily basis. It just feels like the small things are stressing me out more and more. And I think it escalated when I talked to my ex wife over the phone involuntarily last week and I think she may have something to do with it. I don't know if it had something to do with a 12 step program that she's trying to do. But I didn't buy anything that she told me. All I know is that she told me she forgave me which I literally took as an insult because all I've taken from her is the blunt of the "blame" for the fatuity and crap that she pulled!

She still blames everyone but herself about her trying m'eth and getting hooked on it. She still doesn't admit that she hurt her family or how she severely hurt me emotionally or how this has affected our two k'ids. But because I talked to her. It didn't help. All it has done is cause me to feel unstable emotionally. I just wish she'd let it go and move on. She got the divorce she fought tooth and nail for. Now she says she regretted it and admitted that she enjoyed living off of my back and that she had it made. She should move on.

I'm trying to move on. I moved and got new things. I got myself a woman that sincerely cares about me. All I want to do is to shed myself of the emotions and bad memories and get on with my life. It's hard to do. 

 

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites


That stress and anxiety sounds intense I’m sorry you have to experience this. I believe you are strong and will be able to push through. If I were you I would install a invisible shock fence for the k***s haha not enough to hurt them but enough to spook them haha. It’s understandable you’re feeling emotionally unstable I wouldn’t as well. I have faith in you 🖤 

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Elites

I am so sorry for the things that are happening in your life currently. Something that helps me with anxiety is to excuse myself and take a moment to fucus on something I am proud of. I know it sounds a little hokey, but it helps with casting out the negative energy that produces anxiety. It doesn’t even have to be something big, just something that would normally make you smile inside.  I also think its great that this group exists so you can talk about it. Sometimes letting it all hang out helps. It’s difficult dealing with tox*c people. I don’t know what to say about that, that will help, however I truly hope things start looking up for you. You seem like a good person, and I know good energy will be on its way to you. :::Sending good vibes your way:::

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 11/5/2021 at 6:38 AM, Mr.Dawn said:

So...over the past few months. I've felt my anxiety and stress getting worse and worse. Sometimes I feel like I'm in an absolute panic. I can't catch my breath and my heart feels like it's going to jump out of my chest. I get this really uncomfortable feeling in my stomach and it just intensifies which causes my mind to race and puts me on the edge of worry. 

I've been dealing with these feelings from going to work and putting up with the usual bs and coming home to the neighbor's k'ids trespassing in my yard on a daily basis. It just feels like the small things are stressing me out more and more. And I think it escalated when I talked to my ex wife over the phone involuntarily last week and I think she may have something to do with it. I don't know if it had something to do with a 12 step program that she's trying to do. But I didn't buy anything that she told me. All I know is that she told me she forgave me which I literally took as an insult because all I've taken from her is the blunt of the "blame" for the fatuity and crap that she pulled!

She still blames everyone but herself about her trying m'eth and getting hooked on it. She still doesn't admit that she hurt her family or how she severely hurt me emotionally or how this has affected our two k'ids. But because I talked to her. It didn't help. All it has done is cause me to feel unstable emotionally. I just wish she'd let it go and move on. She got the divorce she fought tooth and nail for. Now she says she regretted it and admitted that she enjoyed living off of my back and that she had it made. She should move on.

I'm trying to move on. I moved and got new things. I got myself a woman that sincerely cares about me. All I want to do is to shed myself of the emotions and bad memories and get on with my life. It's hard to do. 

 

What is she forgiving you for? Did you do something wrong? I’m confused.

Edited by summerlusk
  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, summerlusk said:

What is she forgiving you for? 

I didn't believe her when she said she was forgiving me. She never forgave me for anything back then that I did. But she expects me to forgive her even though the fact of the matter is that we wronged each other. I owned up to what I did. She still makes excuses and uses the word "but" and goes on how it's someone else's fault. 

Here's the thing. I don't care anymore. We're divorced.  She's living with a boyfriend twice my age out of a hotel who enables her bad habits. I have my girlfriend of almost a year with me. We've both moved on. I don't know why my ex wife wanted to call me and review memory lane. 

We should have broke up or divorced a long long time ago. I don't have near the issues with my new partner that I did with my ex. In fact I don't have reoccurring problems in this current relationship that I did back in 2008 when I got married. 

18 hours ago, summerlusk said:

 Did you do something wrong? 

I confess. She's the only woman that I had major issues with. I did things and she did things.  I think what I did wasn't right or good. But it's in the past. I was faithful and loyal to her. Never cheated. But I was very verbal when we got into our arguments.  I honestly don't think we respected each other. I'm not the good guy in the story and neither is she. It was a bad relationship. Anything that could go wrong, did go wrong in a span of 11 years. 

 

In no way do I want you or anyone to believe that I was without any wrong doing to the point of my divorce. I did a lot of things wrong. I do regret how I behaved a decade ago. I was a 22 year old boy who was not responsible or mature enough to be a relationship back then.   

I wholly admit that I could have handled things better than I did. But because I was immature, had anger issues, and was emotionally and mentally unstable. I think those qualities added to a t'oxic relationship as my ex wife had issues too and I think we were too much alike in some areas. So instead of being a solution to some of the problems. I ended up adding to them.

I just think a lot of old problems that piled up went on unresolved ultimately ended our marriage. 

 

Edited by Mr.Dawn
  • Heart 1
  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...