Jump to content

WHEN SOMEONE “SUGGESTS” / TRIES AND FORCES THERAPY ON YOU


bones
 Share

Recommended Posts

  • Elites

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but every time I meet someone new and slowly open up to them about what has occurred in my life, and the obstacles I went through, they seem to always suggest therapy to me. 

In my opinion, I don’t think it is right for someone without a medical background to suggest any kind of therapy / doctor / or med'ication to me. 

I know, most times, people are just trying to help. But in my own opinion, I believe you should WANT to seek therapy yourself in order for it to have any lasting affect on you. 

Maybe I do need to speak with somebody, maybe I haven’t found the right person to do that yet, and have you ever felt like you never wanted to PAY for somebody to care about you, give you direction, or advice? 

I know we all have bad moments. 

But is it wrong of me to get offended at “go see a therapist”? 

Edited by bones
Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Mod

I can see how it can be offensive if someone tells someone else that they should go see a therapist. It's not wrong of you to feel that way. Once when I was a teenager, my mom wanted me to go see one because she thought that I was depressed or had anxiety. I can't remember which one but I remember having a bad temper so that could have been one reason and I think because I had problems socializing with other people around my age. I didn't want to go because I felt like I didn't need to. I think I only went two times and I felt like it was a waste. I understand that she was concerned about me, but I didn't want to go to one in the first place.

 

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, bones said:

I’m not sure if it’s just me, but every time I meet someone new and slowly open up to them about what has occurred in my life, and the obstacles I went through, they seem to always suggest therapy to me. 

Those people just want to hold you back. You're misunderstood. You're a strong independent woman who, from what I can tell, has a good career going in front of her. 

6 hours ago, bones said:

In my opinion, I don’t think it is right for someone without a medical background to suggest any kind of therapy / doctor / or med'ication to me. 

You're right. It's not their place to suggest that nor is their job. F'uck them. 

6 hours ago, bones said:

I know, most times, people are just trying to help. But in my own opinion, I believe you should WANT to seek therapy yourself in order for it to have any lasting affect on you. 

 I just think you need someone who will listen to you and not give an opinion. You've been through enough people who think "Oh, well I'm going to tell her she needs this kind of advise." and that's really not the case. You know what you need, they don't. No one knows you better than you know yourself. You've got this. Sometimes it just feels better to get it off your chest. That's how you're working through it. 

6 hours ago, bones said:

Maybe I do need to speak with somebody, maybe I haven’t found the right person to do that yet, and have you ever felt like you never wanted to PAY for somebody to care about you, give you direction, or advice? 

I think you need someone. But I think it should be someone of your choice. A friend or a loved one. Paying someone doesn't feel sincere and a councilor/ therapist just feels like they're telling you what you want to hear. Those people just blow smoke up your a'ss and give you med*cation and just agree for the sake of agreeing. That doesn't help. You want the truth no matter how upsetting. You want someone who is honest and you know you're not being lied to. You don't want a bulls'hitter. 

6 hours ago, bones said:

I know we all have bad moments. 

And it's okay. You're not broken. It's a very human quality. You're you. You're going have to have moments and traumatizing blow ups that are very upsetting to you just as much as it is to the other person. Losing control is very traumatizing and some people don't get it. 

6 hours ago, bones said:

But is it wrong of me to get offended at “go see a therapist”? 

No. Not at all. You've already been down that road before as have I. I think you're wanting to find answers elsewhere. The therapists failed or they didn't perform in a way that was healthy or positive or the med*cations they kept giving didn't help us solve the problem. 

Do what you have to do and enjoy your life. 

However. From what I have gathered. You're financially stable and you're good in that area. But your needs are still not being met. You're alone. Every man you've been with has mistreated you, lied, stole, and cheated on you. They've failed you h'orribly. You lost your mother & that was catastrophic for you. What you're missing is fellowship. That is I believe is your core problem. You're isolated & you don't have that emotional security. No one is there for you. I think that is what is causing the instability in your life right now. When you have that someone, you tend to have less issues and more success. It makes you feel happy, safe, and confident to move forward in life because you have a foundation to go off of.  And somewhere along the lines. You lost your foundation. You're searching for that and it is very frustrating. 

And until you find someone that is able to give you that. You're still going to have and be dealing with all of this instability in your life. You're going through a hard time and you're still grieving a loss. You're fighting all of these emotions constantly. I can't imagine how chaotic that is for you. You will never get over your loss, but you will get through it. You won't forget it, but you'll get better at it. 

It just takes time and it s*cks having to wait for good things to come along. And I don't think you've been happy for a long time. I really hope you can meet someone that can give you that. Life is an ocean and it helps to have someone to hold onto. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As a person who is actively going to therapy - it is often not harmful to do so - additionally, it can actually strengthen your position the next time someone suggests it.

What I mean is, if you speak with a therapist & they say you are mentally sound - the next person who says “get therapy” will be, likely, invalid - and probably, likely, just gaslighting you.

In other words, why not prove them wrong?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Elites
7 hours ago, Kaitlind said:

I can see how it can be offensive if someone tells someone else that they should go see a therapist. It's not wrong of you to feel that way. Once when I was a teenager, my mom wanted me to go see one because she thought that I was depressed or had anxiety. I can't remember which one but I remember having a bad temper so that could have been one reason and I think because I had problems socializing with other people around my age. I didn't want to go because I felt like I didn't need to. I think I only went two times and I felt like it was a waste. I understand that she was concerned about me, but I didn't want to go to one in the first place.

 

Thank you. Exactly how I feel. 

4 hours ago, Admin said:

As a person who is actively going to therapy - it is often not harmful to do so - additionally, it can actually strengthen your position the next time someone suggests it.

What I mean is, if you speak with a therapist & they say you are mentally sound - the next person who says “get therapy” will be, likely, invalid - and probably, likely, just gaslighting you.

In other words, why not prove them wrong?

You’re definitely right about that. sh’it. 

6 hours ago, Mr.Dawn said:

Those people just want to hold you back. You're misunderstood. You're a strong independent woman who, from what I can tell, has a good career going in front of her. 

You're right. It's not their place to suggest that nor is their job. F'uck them. 

 I just think you need someone who will listen to you and not give an opinion. You've been through enough people who think "Oh, well I'm going to tell her she needs this kind of advise." and that's really not the case. You know what you need, they don't. No one knows you better than you know yourself. You've got this. Sometimes it just feels better to get it off your chest. That's how you're working through it. 

I think you need someone. But I think it should be someone of your choice. A friend or a loved one. Paying someone doesn't feel sincere and a councilor/ therapist just feels like they're telling you what you want to hear. Those people just blow smoke up your a'ss and give you med*cation and just agree for the sake of agreeing. That doesn't help. You want the truth no matter how upsetting. You want someone who is honest and you know you're not being lied to. You don't want a bulls'hitter. 

And it's okay. You're not broken. It's a very human quality. You're you. You're going have to have moments and traumatizing blow ups that are very upsetting to you just as much as it is to the other person. Losing control is very traumatizing and some people don't get it. 

No. Not at all. You've already been down that road before as have I. I think you're wanting to find answers elsewhere. The therapists failed or they didn't perform in a way that was healthy or positive or the med*cations they kept giving didn't help us solve the problem. 

Do what you have to do and enjoy your life. 

However. From what I have gathered. You're financially stable and you're good in that area. But your needs are still not being met. You're alone. Every man you've been with has mistreated you, lied, stole, and cheated on you. They've failed you h'orribly. You lost your mother & that was catastrophic for you. What you're missing is fellowship. That is I believe is your core problem. You're isolated & you don't have that emotional security. No one is there for you. I think that is what is causing the instability in your life right now. When you have that someone, you tend to have less issues and more success. It makes you feel happy, safe, and confident to move forward in life because you have a foundation to go off of.  And somewhere along the lines. You lost your foundation. You're searching for that and it is very frustrating. 

And until you find someone that is able to give you that. You're still going to have and be dealing with all of this instability in your life. You're going through a hard time and you're still grieving a loss. You're fighting all of these emotions constantly. I can't imagine how chaotic that is for you. You will never get over your loss, but you will get through it. You won't forget it, but you'll get better at it. 

It just takes time and it s*cks having to wait for good things to come along. And I don't think you've been happy for a long time. I really hope you can meet someone that can give you that. Life is an ocean and it helps to have someone to hold onto. 

Thank you for always thoroughly understanding me, being so on-point that it feels that you are reading my mind, or taking over and taking on my feelings and inflicting them on yourself for the utmost understanding. You are to thank for many things I have needed help with. In all ways. You understand me, @Mr.Dawn.

Edited by bones
  • Heart 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Therapy works for me (well, it helps 😅) but as you said you have to want it yourself. I was made to have it as a teenager, with my Mam in the room so I didn't feel like I could open up anyways and it was stressful and useless. However now it's my own choice I know it's something that I want to continue, but it's not right for everyone and I tbh I think it's pretty rude just suggesting it to someone unless they were asking your personal opinion on it.

I don't feel you are in the wrong at all for being offended. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...