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surgery because I hate myself


Tiff
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Like I said, I’m new here, might be a stupid thing to post or ask. But I am getting a duodenal switch weight loss surgery soon, October actually. And I’m getting it because I hate myself. I hate how I look. But I recently have been getting thoughts about backing out of it because I don’t know if it will help or just make things worse. I will say, I’m overweight right now, but I look at pictures from when I was underweight and when I hated myself still. I’m scared to go through with this surgery and just change my life forever but still have the same outcome. Anyone have any thoughts? Or just tell me I’m stupid and shouldn’t be asking lol

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3 minutes ago, Onision said:

Sounds like focusing on your head is the priority. Therapy you know?

I get ect shock therapy 3x a week and therapy with my creepy therapist every 2 weeks so I’m workin with my brain the best I can. (,: I’ll keep tryin. Btw I love u and glad to be back on ur forums 😄

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Just now, Tiff said:

I get ect shock therapy 3x a week and therapy with my creepy therapist every 2 weeks so I’m workin with my brain the best I can. (,: I’ll keep tryin. Btw I love u and glad to be back on ur forums 😄

Uh… what? They’re not supposed to zap your brain… huh?

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32 minutes ago, Tiff said:

Like I said, I’m new here, might be a stupid thing to post or ask. But I am getting a duodenal switch weight loss surgery soon, October actually. And I’m getting it because I hate myself. I hate how I look. But I recently have been getting thoughts about backing out of it because I don’t know if it will help or just make things worse. I will say, I’m overweight right now, but I look at pictures from when I was underweight and when I hated myself still. I’m scared to go through with this surgery and just change my life forever but still have the same outcome. Anyone have any thoughts? Or just tell me I’m stupid and shouldn’t be asking lol

If you're not sure it's going to greatly improve your mental health, there's a good chance it won't. So if that's the main reason you're getting it, you may feel like it's a waste by the end of it. If it's just one part of a larger plan to make yourself a happier person, maybe you'll still feel it's worthwhile. Basically, don't rely on surgery to solve all of your problems

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My opinion is that those types of surgeries only do what they say they will—help with weight loss. They (probably) won't make you love yourself. Any type of growth, physical, intellectual, etc, starts from within. So yes like Onision said above, therapy sounds like a great idea. And if you do choose to lose weight, I hope you can do so while loving yourself and your body in every step of the process. And if needed, with the help of people who truly care about your wellness, not just the number on the scale. 

I've gone through an ED and many different phases with my own body. Even after losing so much weight I was m*******e at first. What set me straight was getting my relationship with myself & food right. That looks different for everyone.

 

much love and best wishes to you ❤️

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If you are otherwise healthy despite being overweight then maybe the surgery isn’t for you. Health is measured by what you can do. If you look chunky but can run a marathon just fine, and aren’t in pain or suffering, then you’re healthy. 
 

sounds like maybe your current therapist isn’t a good fit for you. Have you considered looking for another? You don’t have to stick with the first one you find. It’s perfectly normal to go to more than one till you find something that helps you. Maybe 1 on 1 isn’t even the best fit. Maybe group therapy or behavioral classes are a better fit. 
 

let me know if you need anything always happy to help if I can

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