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Someone Who Canceled Themselves To You


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Has anyone ever socially canceled themselves to you, in an instant?

My dad canceled himself when I caught him stone cold lying to me about accessing my computer.

I had the computer log files, he clearly didn't know, when I revealed I had the computer log files after he already lied, he dumbed down his lie to say he only accessed it a little - I went on to point out that access logs let me know pretty much all the files he looked into and that's when the conversation went no further on that topic.

Point is, when you catch someone, lying stone cold to your face about something, often times it means they don't really care about you or respect you - and that, ki**ed my ability to connect with my father or want to have a real future with him.

The Wire Boom GIF by The Ringer

My father later got physically violent with me, knowing I couldn't fight back because I was on probation for the last time I defended myself against him... it was a hard place to be. I feel bad for 15 year old me... what I had to go through.

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8 minutes ago, summerlusk said:

My sister hid the fact that her boyfriend was a drug addict until he started begging my mom for money to pay his drug dealer because he told her if he didn’t, that he was going to come to our house.

DEAR GOD MAN

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I'm sorry you had to go through all of that ❤️ As for me, the only time I can think of someone cancelling themselves to me was when my ex-best friend stopped all communication with me because she got mad at my family for accusing her of using me. A while after that happened I wished her a happy birthday and told her I missed her, but she didn't say anything or even say she missed me back, so that was when I decided to be done with her. I don't even know why she got mad at me because I haven't done anything to her. So we haven't spoke to each other since 2019.

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When I was disowned by specific family members for good after coming out. 

When my "friend" and ex "significant other" decided that a "fling" was fine because, hey why would my feelings even matter? 

I've always found it strange that some people will stab you in the front, others in the back. 

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I don’t cancel people. I set hard boundaries. If you’re willing to put in the work to get your s***t together then we can work it out. But if you’re gonna roll with me you gotta roll by my terms. I do a lot of hard work to walk the talk that I do believe everyone is capable of change and being better.  I’ve forgiven people who have stolen from me, ab**ed me, and really been the worst of the worst. But they did the hard work and turned their s***t around. I don’t forget, but I do adapt and forgive. 
 

but yeah if you’re gonna pull the same old s***t and not work on yourself to try and be a good person. You’re not in my life. And that’s 1000% their choice that they are actively making since my door is open for whenever they wanna step up. 
 

example: my late friend was a druggie for a long time. And when he finally shaped up I let him visit me again in my house. BUT he had to pass a urine test first before he set foot in the door. I had a kit ready to go for him. Hall bathroom is there, let me take all your things, okay go test, we clean good come in bro. No cancelling, door is open if you want to be here, you can put in the extra work to start rebuilding that trust and prove to me you’re getting the s***t together. It’s not punitive, it’s an opportunity to earn trust back. Don’t wanna do it okay we can talk but you’re not coming in my house. Drunk or high? Then we aren’t even gonna talk. 
 

boundaries set

And he did it. He took those tests and passed. People who value you will step up even if they’ve screwed up in the past. For real. If they try and argue out of it cool, they don’t wanna be in my life, come back when you’re ready then. Bye❤️
 

 

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