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Would you accept money or gifts from somebody obviously interested in you?


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6 minutes ago, Kaitlind said:

Yeah I would. It's always nice to receive gifts 😋 I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings either. I would just be nice about it but not lead them on.

Perfect example. I feel the same about leading someone on. 😕 See, I don't think I could accept anything due to feeling like it's a weird motive or something, and could bring out obsessive...things. I mean maybe if they were cool, and understood but chances are low in that area for me, I'm just weird. 🤣💕 

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3 minutes ago, brittniisundae said:

Perfect example. I feel the same about leading someone on. 😕 See, I don't think I could accept anything due to feeling like it's a weird motive or something, and could bring out obsessive...things. I mean maybe if they were cool, and understood but chances are low in that area for me, I'm just weird. 🤣💕

Yeah you gotta be careful. I would probably accept it in the same way I would accept a gift from a friend. You know what I mean? Lol

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Just now, Kaitlind said:

Yeah you gotta be careful. I would probably accept it in the same way I would accept a gift from a friend. You know what I mean? Lol

Absolutely! ❤  that makes more sense.  That would be a one of a kind person too. 🤔 I need to start being better friends to people, especially if I become rich. 🤣💕 Oh now I have plans, even though I may not be "interested" in them, still good to give.

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48 minutes ago, summerlusk said:

Someone I met online once bought me a Guess watch before we even met up and I didn’t accept it. Is that bad?

How much was it??

I think it's always a risk, you can be very clear about your feelings and intentions and still accept gifts etc, but you don't know what people can become like. I would hate to be in a position where someone manipulated me using the things they had bought me, and it's difficult to know how you would react in that situation. 

I think it's easier to predict how it will all play out with someone you know well rather than a stranger IMO.

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I only accept gifts from people I like. 

I have a funny story with this one.

A few years ago I helped a foreign to find the place where he can rent a spot for his yatch.  It's usual in the city I study interacting with lost foreigners that do not speak properly English instead french/Arabic etc 

He started becoming really annoying with wanting to date/buying me something / taking me somewhere else with him.

I do not accept presents from strangers. 

(I told him several times I just thought it was a cool  way to spend  my break between morning and evening classes, I was just laying in the Port having a sunbath.)

Only people I trust/like.

It feels like a lot of pressure because you never get things for free, it's really unusual.

Although I like having small details with my friends, and being honest if I am somehow interested or feeling like: yh why not!!

But if you do not want to it's just creepy.

For example, I'm working in something more or less, I tend to not like at all being petted or touched or hugged by someone else not from my inner circle. Or sometimes certain friends that I find too touchy, I just find it really stressing having my face touched of if someone else wants me to be nicer to people we just met , I just can't.

Unless I want to, I find it really hard.

In Spain there is this way of saying hellow to everyone by being pretty , in my opinion, way too close, kissing someone else's checks.

For example, when I used to go to the gym, it was really commun having a sweety, Stinky guy that was just training running towards you wanting to kiss and hug you.

I had to get used to having that contact with people because here "it's normal" and if you don't let people hug you the you are "not friendly" and for me it's my "vital space" do not get that close unless I let you. But do not force me, it just makes me really really uncomfortable.

I've tried to explain it, several times, but it's just like talking to a wall to certain people. 

I've learned through out the years to kind of "avoid it" without it being "noticeable" hehehe. But usually,  my male friends get really hurt  when I do this, because they always tell me that I just feel like "baing rejected without even trying"

But its my way of being, I think it's better setting distance if you want to.

It's like, I still talk to you, give you attention, help you whenever you need it but my personal space, please, respect it.

I admit normal contact like touching your shoulders,( or your upper arm, your hand a bit if you want to emphasize) from outsiders because it's useful for interaction, but the rest is invasive.

And way much more if this person already has told their interest towards you. 

I think I am still immature in dealing with this one but I just can't stand touchy behaviors from someone that it's way too interested in you , without it being reciprocate.

I've had a very bad time dealing with this thing since highschool, I think that's why I like being assertive because then you don't get people confused, but they start hating you somehow. 

One guy in high school started liking me a lot since I helped him with some homework, he literally got obsessed,and in the lunch break in front of his friends he started touching my face and grabbing my hand.

I just got really agressive and assertive towards him and the same week he appeared with his friends where I did athletism at night just to chase me and look down at me while I was going home.

Also I started trash talking about me to the guy I liked...

Then in university another guy wanted to exchange particular classes with me in order to make the rest of the class being able to change a programation exam.

He was disgusting, really disgusting , was not interested in learning, was just being really annoying.

Other times in high school, I've got but slapped from random guys.

I usually reacted slapping then right away in the face. Never got slap twice again xD.

Other thing that makes me really really angry is dancing with my friends and having someone grabbing me from behind. I just freak out and try to "KO" that stranger.

Sometimes it's horrible because there are people I've flirted, and I even like that just think I am funny and go dance with me but they end up grabbing me inappropriately so I hit them really hard or  try to knock them out. It's just something "automatic".

But it's not good, I punch hard for hurting, not funny at all. I feel ashamed afterwards.

 

 

 

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5 hours ago, Onision said:

Why would someone give you something in the hopes you would date them though? You can’t buy people.

I wouldn't take it if I were the woman. There's almost always a cost (strings attached). 

I took a woman & her little girl out for dinner at this nice restaurant. She was a former stripper. I thought she was hot. I never thought she'd go out with me.

She asked me what it would cost her since she wasn't paying for her dinner. I asked her what she meant. She said that when a woman doesn't pay for half of the date, the man wants s;ex in return. I told her she didn't owe me a damn thing. 

We did spend the night together but we never "slept" together. We didn't f***.

There were already problems with her aside from her over confidence and arrogant behavior. She was pregnant with another man's ch*ld aside from taking care of her 2 year old daughter. All she did was talk about her f*** buddy who was a Christian. She referred to him as Church Boy. 

Other problems being I didn't like her attitude towards me. She was very demanding and controlling. Examples being that she was telling me what I could & couldn't say. She was telling me how to clean my apartment. How to spend my money. That I should save my money. Griped about my parenting skills.  She didn't want a man, she wanted a servant. I spent 11 years being a servant to another woman. 

She called me for a 3rd date. I told her I was busy and would get back to her. I wasn't busy & I never returned her call. I was done. I just didn't like her as a person. So I bowed out. 

5 hours ago, summerlusk said:

Someone I met online once bought me a Guess watch before we even met up and I didn’t accept it. Is that bad?

Nope. Not at all. They were a stranger with imaginary high expectations. Not your problem. 

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If I knew they gifted something as a way of trying to be with me, no I wouldn’t keep it. I think it would make me uncomfortable. But if they were already my friend or something and gifts were something we already did then yeah. If the communication has been clear and it didn’t appear to have weird motives, then yeah. 

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I think a real power move is when someone... say gives you a ring or something, and someone splits with you, and says "I gave you that ring!" You just straight up hand it back --- showing you were never interested in the physical items they gave you...

When people refuse to give stuff back after a relationship, it's like "So that's what it was about" ~

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8 minutes ago, Onision said:

I think a real power move is when someone... say gives you a ring or something, and someone splits with you, and says "I gave you that ring!" You just straight up hand it back --- showing you were never interested in the physical items they gave you...

When people refuse to give stuff back after a relationship, it's like "So that's what it was about" ~

That's why I never ask for anything back. If I give it, my g*rls keep it for good. My ex wife offered to give me my mother's wedding ring that my father spent 3 thousand dollars on. I said no and  that she could keep it. Maybe give it to our daughter or our son some day.

What did she do?

She hocked it at a Pawn Shop for 50 dollars. My ex wife sold most or lost everything I ever gave her.

Our wedding & family pictures are at her mother's house. Her mom asked me if I wanted that stuff. I said no. I told her mom to hold onto it and give it to the k*ids when they grow up and get out on their own. She understands. 

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55 minutes ago, Mr.Dawn said:

My ex wife offered to give me my mother's wedding ring that my father spent 3 thousand dollars on. I said no and  that she could keep it. Maybe give it to our daughter or our son some day.

What did she do?

She hocked it at a Pawn Shop for 50 dollars. My ex wife sold most or lost everything I ever gave her.

Sounds like ya should have asked for it back then... that's rough.

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13 minutes ago, Onision said:

Sounds like ya should have asked for it back then... that's rough.

I couldn't justify taking it back. Reasons being that I didn't know what to do with it. I didn't want to give it to the next woman because that would have been f;ucked up. I couldn't sell it either because it was all I had left of my dad who disowned me at the age of 15. I was confident & wrong at the same time in believing that she'd give it to our k*ids. At the time, I was depressed and emotionally unwell due to her forcing me into a corner to get this divorce. 

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