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What else can I do, to make you want me?


bones
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There are so many different things that contribute to how we feel after a breakup, friendship, or any significant relationship in your life ends.

Of course, I'm sure we have all heard of the 'Stages of Grief' but if you haven't, it goes like this:

Denial: You essentially can’t believe it’s over, don't understand the reason given, or the simple fact that your ex doesn’t want or love you.

Anger: Anger and resentment toward your ex. *NO ACTUAL RETALIATION 

Bargaining: Trying to get them back, even if it's just in your head.

Guilt: This just means you feel like utter garbage about your behavior - but this can be tied to not feeling good enough.

I had been in a long-term relationship right before my last short-lived relationship, and we lived together and  we were heading towards marriage. Long story short, we were together 4 years, and we broke up.

I got my own apartment, and I had never had to do that before. After 10 months of not seeing anybody, speaking with anybody in that manner, and effectively started to feel good about myself, started loving myself, and felt ready for something new.

Since I had been alone for quite some time, I thought it was the right time to finally give somebody a shot and see where things go.

Yesterday, or the day before there was a post on this forum about what we all think about the military. I took it upon myself to write about how the USMC may have affected my newly-ex-boyfriend (he had dumped me that morning), I wanted to take the time to write this post to the forum to formally apologize for the comment I made regarding my now ex-boyfriend. I have the most incredible regret and remorse and I feel that I have wronged all of you, because I quite possibly could have put a bad taste in your mouth involving me. I haven't been on the internet in a few years, at least not many times at all, because my last relationship before this, I didn't go on at all. I viewed my post as more of a "venting" moment, than an opinion moment. And I ended up bashing somebody in the process, which is not me, and never will be me.

There is no excuse, I take full responsibility for my actions and I am sincerely sorry.

I wish I could take it back, I wish I had been more thoughtful.

I am being straight-forward with everything. I still have massive feelings for my ex, he exhibits unstable behavior, and broke/shattered my heart into pieces, but I'd never want to do any harm to him. When I wrote that post, I also was in the middle of begging for him back because I couldn't believe he would leave me the day prior to leaving for deployment, after all the money I put into care packages, money for flights, the list goes on......

I want to make it as clear as possible that I am sorry for the post I made, and it wasn't about retaliation on a public platform, it's just the CHANGE of personality I have noticed since he has entered the military vs. when we went to high school together. 

He is a very good person, with an amazing heart, with issues, as we all suffer from different things day-to-day.

I recognize the fault in the post I made, and how you could construe it that way. Just like I wouldn't write such a thing on Facebook, YouTubeInstagram, Tumblr, or Twitter. Once again, I apologize.

But it is not right for me to ever BASH anybody, whether any of you know him personally or not, because I am still struggling with my feelings within, and when I posted that, I was in the middle of begging for him back, or even a response before he left for 7 months.

There is exponentially more to this story, but it wouldn't be right to air it all out. I just needed this off my chest. I am not better than my ex, in fact, I begged and pleaded for him until the moment he left.

I'm so sorry guys.

You will never see content like that out of me again. Cross my heart...

Xox, me.

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45 minutes ago, Ghostie said:

Not my apology to accept but I view this as a safe place to vent and have opinions even if they aren’t the best. I appreciate you being here. 

Thank you. This means so much to me.

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You have every right to vent. You don't owe me or any member on here an apology. You've done nothing wrong. 

You have my sympathies. I understand what it is to have someone leave you and to want them back so badly. My wife left me who I was with for 11 years. It wasn't easy. But I got through it. There's nothing wrong with how you're feeling. It's okay. 

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21 hours ago, bones said:

all. I viewed my post as more of a "venting" moment, than an opinion moment. And I ended up bashing somebody in the process, which is not me, and never will be me.

Ya this is allllll okay , I personally am also far too open here. 😅  and it's embarrassing because I just type stuff without much thought and can't delete it .so hopefully it doesn't mame anyone upset.Because a lot of my opinions are just totally wrong . 🙃 

BUT . I too appreciate you being here , and sending lots of love ❤  

 

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4 minutes ago, Terminated said:

You have every right to vent. You don't owe me or any member on here an apology. You've done nothing wrong. 

You have my sympathies. I understand what it is to have someone leave you and to want them back so badly. My wife left me who I was with for 11 years. It wasn't easy. But I got through it. There's nothing wrong with how you're feeling. It's okay. 

I am crying as I am reading this.. Thank you for sharing that with me, and most of all - commiserating with me when it comes to your own experience. I am conflicted, because I already want to send him a letter to the address he provided but I don't know how well that would go over considering he has already told me I 'suffocate' him and 'pressure' him. Even though, I see no evidence in my behavior to support that. I can't stop crying. I wish some people would just stay away from others, if all they are going to do is chew them up and spit them back out..... 😢 

6 minutes ago, PoptartBarbie said:

Ya this is allllll okay , I personally am also far too open here. 😅  and it's embarrassing because I just type stuff without much thought and can't delete it .so hopefully it doesn't mame anyone upset.Because a lot of my opinions are just totally wrong . 🙃 

BUT . I too appreciate you being here , and sending lots of love ❤  

 

Thank you so very much. I am very open as well, I can relate to you on that. 

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@bones If he willingly gave you his address. That's something.

I'd go ahead and send him a letter if that's what you want to do.

What can it hurt?

He can't say that you're pressuring him or being overbearing.

With a letter, he has a choice whether to open it and read it or throw it away. You're in no way holding a gun to his head. 

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11 hours ago, Terminated said:

@bones If he willingly gave you his address. That's something.

I'd go ahead and send him a letter if that's what you want to do.

What can it hurt?

He can't say that you're pressuring him or being overbearing.

With a letter, he has a choice whether to open it and read it or throw it away. You're in no way holding a gun to his head. 

You're absolutely right.

Of course, he willingly gave me that address.

(There would be no other way to obtain it, he is on a ship, so anything sent to that address is forwarded to whatever country/location he is in).

I ended up sending the letter yesterday to formally say goodbye. Thank you for making me feel better about sending it. He most definitely could just throw it away...

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40 minutes ago, bones said:

I ended up sending the letter yesterday to formally say goodbye. Thank you for making me feel better about sending it. He most definitely could just throw it away...

That's good that you did and it's good that you're embracing your feelings on this issue. I've found that if you try to suppress and push away your feelings, they'll come back on you 12 fold. You cant hold the tide with a broom. I suspect he won't be throwing that letter away. Men are creatures of habit. Curiosity will get the better of him and he'll open it and read it. 

 

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