Jump to content

Dealing with rejection


Hitchens
 Share

Recommended Posts


It kind of helps to remember a time you said no to someone.

usually I feel bad about it and my no had a lot more to do about what was going on with me than with the other person.  So I try to remember that. 
 

otherwise if you want to practice being rejected, sales of any kind is a great place to do that. Working for a call center sure did help me practice getting over phone anxiety

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's really not easy , but how bad it feels actually depends on the type of rejection I face. For instance, rejection in a relationship is harder than a job interview rejection 

  • Star 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I try my best to learn from it and improve on the parts of myself that were not deemed as acceptable by somebody else.

B37DFD29-D343-4EE5-92DE-0557AFA9D7DE.jpeg.a297d000252c4b28e6477f844286c173.jpeg

Here’s a story you didn’t ask for about how someone in my life dealt with rejection. I don’t recommend you read it, mainly because it exposes just how horrible and selfish I am as a person. I’ll type it out regardless as it could have some the****utic benefit:

I broke up with my ex-partner in a rather cruel manner - a text message sent from my parent’s house. They immediately claimed to all of our mutual friends and basically everyone we know that they in fact had clinical depression. They stated that they had previously attempted s******e, failing to clarify WHEN THIS HAPPENED. I had no prior knowledge about any suicidal ideation nor attempts, it was completely new to me.

They also posted a photo of a crying man on their Facebook page with a long paragraph describing their ongoing emotional turmoil. I lost friends as a result.

I’m not a psychologist but I do have experience of living with an individual that suffers with diagnosed depression. I didn’t notice any of the usual signs of said depression during the lengthy relationship and there was also no mention of it whatsoever.

So, some blue sky thinking here -  was this claim merely a tactic utilized to cause me further suffering and make me look bad for breaking up with them?

Is it not normal to expect to notice these things in other people when you are living with them?

I know that I am wrong in my thinking here and of course, these things can certainly go unnoticed but I can’t help having this feeling that something’s up with it. The timing of the public announcement of their ongoing struggle with complete despair seemed awfully convenient. Again, I am the reason I have this feeling of wrongness; it’s because I am wrong to think like this.

I would describe them as being a very positive and confident person with a happy demeanour. They were always making jokes and seemed to very much enjoy themselves on a daily basis whilst we were living together. There were some underlying issues - they were a big drinker and I did not drink at all. They had some serious anger/control issues that flared up when they were drinking. This resulted in me booting them out of my car for drunkenly screaming at me/punching the inside of the passenger door frame whilst I was driving them back to our shared home after they had been on a night out. I later broke up with them because I was fed up of being antagonized by them when they were drunk, they had refused to stop drinking and I couldn’t handle being scared of them during their common cycle of alcohol ab**e.

Was that just their depression showing it’s face though? Do I maybe just not understand it well enough? Maybe they just wore a mask for the entire relationship/cohabiting situation? Do you ever really know anyone?!

Or, maybe they used their knowledge of my past and being closely linked to a person with depression as a weapon against me which would obviously majorly s*ck and it hurts me to even consider.

I’m still bothered by the whole thing to this day which I’m pretty sure is evident by now. I sometimes worry that maybe I *was* living with someone that was truly suffering with an invisible illness and I did not help them. Maybe I am a naive and stupid person that should really be begging for forgiveness and attempting to make amends instead of writing this deeply personal reply to a topic on Onision’s forum? Sorry if this is alienating for anyone, I also hate this gr*ss navel-gazing narrative.

Get this - I’m beginning to believe that *** isn’t even real. It’s just an illusion and some magnificent joke that one conniving f***er conjured up. They’re out there somewhere right now laughing hard at us all. What the actual f***?

Who really knows who is to blame at this point? It’s probably obvious that it’s me, of course. This will be my last post on this forum anyway because it’s become apparent that there’s no potential for me to have my username changed for protection.

So, I’ve decided in my 100% sane and rational mindset, to throw myself under the bus and post a reply about what’s really up. One final yelp for help if you will.

Let’s just hope I haven’t decimated anyone in the process as I will, in turn, end up being decimated myself.

Great regime here.

Life is a landslide! Enjoy it while you can!

I’m aware that this post is totally crazy, I’m just not all too bothered about it because it feels true.

Everything’s fine, I just lost my family!

Boo-hoo etc.

DCA3539E-0AC4-4D99-87E1-7DC5688E5DEA.jpeg.24a9d1d5de844f73c8047283434bdedb.jpeg

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I tend to go through the thought process of "what's wrong with me?", but it always settles with me just continuing to be me. I do usually hide away for awhile at first, and try to find distractions I enjoy. (That good music) If that person thinks I'm not right for them, then I accept that. Sometimes they come back, but that feeling fades for me in time. I don't seek out people. If something special, and naturally occurs, well...then yay! If not, it's fine. One life. Rejection hurts, but at least there's always other feelings in life to enjoy.

new girl GIF

  • Heart 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think  in general we can all agree that there has been times when we've all been rejected more than usual.

I mean, when you need the most love and affection because you are having a hard time and you want that deep conexion with someone you "resonate" then you get rejected.

Somehow, it happened to me a lot back in the days, of course , there has been times of "success" but... rejection even when you are at your best can happen, you are just feeling better to deal with it.

I think I do not know anything at all about love because I've realized that sometimes I like people that have skills, looks I wish I could have. Hehehe sometimes after a certain rejection I realize about what I liked about that person and I usually unconsciously achieve it. Then it's easier not liking everybody else and just focussing on liking yourself then if you find someone you feel comfortable around you two can match . It took me a long long time realizing about that. Now that I am "evolving" I don't think about people the same way I was used to. Also, I am more honest since the beginning, I was not able to know if I really liked someone or not , and that could mess things up so badly.

I think that true love is not tox*c at all.

And when there is love there is no rejection.

The problem here is when you get obsessed over the idea of someone not their real self. 

I liked a lot the idea I had of someone, not his real self , turned out he was just a shadow of what I was expecting so I'm glad for being rejected and having moved on.

Despites at that time I was suffering a lot and that rejection felt like being shot, but, it ended in the long therm being a good thing.

I think that the worst part about rejections, at least from my point of view , is when that person comes back after a long time , expecting you to feel the same way. Like you still don't know them. (Well people can change their mind, of course, but I have a respect for myself and, If I have open my heart like a high way, and you've used it for your own purposes without caring about my well being at all, because you did not care , no matter how bad you were doing, we all have to face consequences.)

I used to think that love was the only thing that could give a meaning to my existence, but there's a lot much going on, than just me and my unmature feelings, for example, when you have duties you don't get over emotional and the better you can dominate your emotions the more you can achieve.

I am so thankful for being able to go back to presential university and having lots of people with duties around me and helping me grow.

Here we have a serious problem with water, in 20-30 years we are expecting to live in a dessert zone so it's our job for us the younger generation to find a solution for that problem. Emotions are good but they don't have to mess up with your duties as a human being that belongs to society, if that happens society, and the world we know would not exist, there is a lot a lot to work , lots of things to solve...

And rejections do not feel that hurtful when you get distracted, I love having things to doo, or if I am procrastinating and chilling playing videogames. Procrastination is good for creativity guys, and it's necessary having a break from time to time ,😼 do not trust social media gurus that sell one certain idea, pick the things you like about all the people you follow, but don't get doctrinated !! Same with love and people that make our heart beat faster hehehe if you get rejected again next time think, do I really really like them the whole package ? Or just the idea I had of them ?or some skill they have that I don't? 

Umm about relationships I should not give advice because I've have not had any jet , but I've seen lots of divorce in my family recently and it's one of the most stressful things you can experience in your life. But if you are dealing with a break up you can also identify what you liked about the other person and why, and what you did not like. What happened that made things get tox*c and learn from that experience.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...