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Reasons To Avoid Dating


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What is a good reason to avoid dating?

In my opinion... you stay less broken if you don't date... no one can hurt you nearly as bad if you just keep everyone out... but there is, in our core, a programmed need for another... so how do you get over that?

Anyway, what is a reason you would avoid dating?

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Personally I don't care about dating. I'm an independent person and I don't need anyone except family. I like the way my life is right now and don't want someone coming in messing it up lol. A lot of people seem to lie and cheat while they're dating and I don't want to deal with that.

 

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The key to dating (and everything) is to lower or manage expectations. You’re not there to find a soulmate. You’re there to see if you get along. My dating life ect got much better when I started practicing finding what the reasonable expectation was.

My tip for first date is don’t do anything you wouldn’t have done for fun anyway. There plenty of time for coffee and dinners later. Priority having a good time and a fun experience cause then if your date turns out to be a dud it’s not a total waste. And for added security pick a group activity like cooking class, star party, fair, ect. Plus then you also have som*thing to A) talk about or B) ignore them with lol! 
 

I have a lot of acquaintances that I met through dates that went nowhere that wound up dating each other through me. Maybe that’s the nice thing about being Demi. I physically cannot get all hormone-y early in the game, so I’m already looking for buddy connection first and intimacy later. 

First date with fiancé I just really wanted to see detective pikachu. I was going to go alone but he messaged me right before. Now I’m engaged. 
 

I know that sounds like old lady advice but it’s true. 

Edited by Anna Chandler
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I would prefer to date rather than just jump into one relationship after another. (I was bad at this for years, which is another reason why a lot of my relationships failed)

Good reasons to avoid dating (no specific order):

1. More time to focus on you, and your own wellbeing. 

2. Unless you find a person who isn't materialistic and expecting things, saving up financially. 

3. Priorities. Friends, family, work, assignments, health.

4. Letting other people in can be a struggle for some people, because of past pain and other things, and until you're ready to do so (the time line varies for all), you should do that slowly. Don't ever rush yourself, and don't give into others who may want to rush you. But if that isn't even an option for you, know that it's always okay.

There is nothing wrong with wanting or choosing to just be where you are, even if you're in a single status the rest of your life.

Take care of yourself, treat yourself. 💕

 

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I spent 9 months alone after a divorce and a break up. I had filed for divorce in November of 2019. I started seeing this one girl January while I was waiting on it to be finalized which it did at the end of January on the 22nd. The relationship had become very tox*c. So 2 months after my divorce was finalized I broke up with my girlfriend who went completely crazy after and I had to deal with that mess.

Then I continued with online dating before I had an emotional break down and decided that I needed some much needed ME time. I was in the process of going on a date with this girl. I bailed on her. I told her I couldn't go through with it. I stayed home that night. I relaxed. I watched tv. I realized then I needed to decompress. I decided to put dating and relationships on hiatus. 

So I did what I wanted. I ate out. I enjoyed my peace and quiet every evening. But after 9 months, I started missing my ex wife. I began to think about her every day. IT was always worse during the day. I thought about our fights. I thought about our k*ids that we had together and when they were little. The loneliness I craved had now become p*****n for me. I cried when I was alone. I slept more when I was alone. I found myself pacing around in my living room & listening to songs that reminded me of my ex wife and from when we were happy together. I cried about her on my couch. 

I realized. I was a very broken man. 

This whole thing with ME time blew up in my face. I thought I was m*******e before. But now I sank into a deep deep depression. Me and my ex wife even talked about getting back together. But nope. Didn't happen and I'm glad it didn't. 

After a while. IT went from severe to a dull depression. Me thinking about her and what it used to be like with the k*ids. I decided I needed to get under another woman. 

After 8 months. I started dating. I still thought about my ex wife while I was talking to other women. I didn't give a sh*it about what I said to other g*rls or if they cared what we talked about. I didn't even care if they dated me or not. 

I learned that women like to bullsh*it more than men do. I sat there and listened to them talk about their lives. I didn't care. I thought about how m*******e I was while they talked about how good things were that their ex was out of the picture because HE was ab**ive.  But I thought about my ex wife because I knew THAT girl wasn't going to be in my life. So I read the droves of bullsh*it on how some of these g*rls never meet men and I listened to the feminist crap on how men all want the same thing and blah blah blah. Just listening to women vent. I'd ask simple questions because I didn't know what to talk about BECAUSE I didn't know these g*rls. 

Then I matched with my current significant other. We started talking. I didn't know what to say to get her to want to meet me. So I just asked random questions that I thought were relevant. I didn't make any assumptions, not a good strategy. But then I let lead the conversation. And eventually we met and as it turned out. She really liked me. I really liked that. 

It's been 8 months now. My depression is at a minimum about my ex wife. My SO has really had a positive outcome in my life. My k***s have reacted positively to her. 

My daughter had said on several occasions that before I looked very sad and that it makes her happy to see me happy. 

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4 minutes ago, Terminated said:

It's been 8 months now. My depression is at a minimum about my ex wife. My SO has really had a positive outcome in my life. My k***s have reacted positively to her. 

My daughter had said on several occasions that before I looked very sad and that it makes her happy to see me happy. 

You're a Gem. I am so happy you're in a better place, Sir. This part made me smile. I wish you even more happiness. After all of that...you're still moving forward for the better. 🌟 You're amazing & I'm so thankful & happy for you! 💕

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1 hour ago, Terminated said:

 

It's been 8 months now. My depression is at a minimum about my ex wife. My SO has really had a positive outcome in my life. My k***s have reacted positively to her. 

My daughter had said on several occasions that before I looked very sad and that it makes her happy to see me hap

SO happy for you! 😄

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