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Manipulative things people have done or said to you


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What are the most manipulative things people have done or said to you? How do you respond if you’re smart enough to realize they’re being manipulative before they successfully manipulate you?

Edited by paperandsky
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Hmm. I had a super ab**ive ex and moderately ab**ive parents so it’s hard to pick most manipulative. 
 

I think my ex telling me they were gonna baker act me despite me being well maintained at the time mental health wise so “you’d finally get off my nuts and I can take a nap instead of listening to your annoying voice” and “have (girl,he cheated on me with) over” because “you already have prior pickups they’ll just think you’re crazy again if you try to fight this” and then bursting into tears on command when the cops showed up to tell them he was so worried about me possibly harming myself and “just didn’t know what else to do”.  Was pretty high up there on the manipulative scale.
 

And he was right, saying that my bf is setting me up so he can have the house alone to cheat on me and take a nap does make me look paranoid and nuts and will get me carted away. So…well played? 

honestly that made me way more scared of him than any of the ***ual or emotional ab**e. That he could just rip my life up like that whenever he wanted because as the lady at jps said “men don’t cry for no reason so he can’t be lying” 
 

That aside I think everyone manipulates to a degree whether or not they intend to. 
 

the best way to both regogize and avoid manipulation is to get really solid on your values and boundaries. Then you’ll start to see people trying to bend their way around them or pull strings to get what they want. 
 

A thing I see manipulative people do starting out is ask for a lot of small arbitrary favors. “Hey can you hand me that” “oh hey if you’re going that way can you get me x?” Just tiny tiny small things over and over. The reason why is people tend to get comfortable after they have already gotten used to saying yes. And it increases their bond to others because like why would you do anything for someone if you didn’t like them. By getting you to do all that stuff they’ve already established a sunk cost. Manipulative people never break major boundaries all at once. It’s a frog in the pot thing. And the asks gradually get bigger until they are huge asks from anyone. But by that time you’ve been conditioned to be comfortable having your boundaries moved farther and farther aside. 
 

Im really subceptible to this due to my helpful personality so now I tend to limit my favors for acquaintances to a certain number depending on the context or setting and then once that threshold is met I politely tell people no regardless of what it is or if I can do it. People kind of have to earn their way to unlimited ***** favors and I have a set recharge period on medium or major favors. So like if you asked to borrow money there’s a 6 month reset where the answer will automatically be no. I explain this to people when I agree to the big favor so they don’t take the following no personal. 
 

the favor thing works for sales too. Which might be helpful for someone. Lol idk 

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A lot of people when they're in relationships are convinced to adopt the lifestyle of the person they're dating... meanwhile I'm a stubborn person, so people I've dated in the past have leaned toward doing substances they should not be doing, and I clashed with that... but not everyone is as strong-minded as you need to be to say no to substances... so some people wind up addicted when they didn't even want to be in the first place...

People try to convince you that you're crazy sometimes in relationships... I think what both parties always need is space, lots of it... to find themselves after being influenced by another for so long.

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  • Elites

One of the most manipulative people I was with made up friends that “just got in a car wreck and died” when I was about to go spend time with my friends because he “needed me” 🙃 I caught on pretty quickly and broke up with him but like??? What 

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Posted (edited)
27 minutes ago, Brookeireland said:

One of the most manipulative people I was with made up friends that “just got in a car wreck and died” when I was about to go spend time with my friends because he “needed me” 🙃 I caught on pretty quickly and broke up with him but like??? What 

Wait, what? He pretended he got in a car wreck and died? How the-?

Edit: Nvm, I misread. You meant he made up friends that happened to..

Edited by paperandsky
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I've got a list from my past, but not going to do that to you all. I've learned, in a better place now with trusting myself & questioning others motives. & I don't think that's a bad thing, especially if you've been through a lot. 

I remember this one time... they promised they were clean & kept up on their meetings.  (however always refused to show me one of their arms, in a sly way& getting angry with me when I asked). They told me they were going to a meeting.

So i sat in the bedroom waiting...not feeling right. I asked their mother if she needed anything from the store. (we lived with their parents at the time) of course she said yes, she smoked a lot of cigarettes, and always needed soda. So I took her list & headed out. 

I skipped over the store she told me to go to, and headed to another. My intuition compass was leading me. As soon as I get to the parking lot, I spot our car far away from the usual spaces. I drive over there with two people ducking down...get out of the car, knock hard on the window and they both get up. I knew what it was. 2 things at once. They rolled down the window, the other person looked white as a sheet with their hands up. (Really? 🙄) Anyway my significant other said "I can't believe you! Spying on me, not trusting me!" 

The other person said "Yeah, girl listen...we" I yelled at them to shut up. I saw the evidence, the cover up. My significant other looked stunned, when I said f...u. I got into the car, went to the store I was supposed to and went home to tell their mother. 

When they got home they had it out with me, because I was packing my things. They kept saying how it was common to slip up, trying to make me the villain, then the please dont go, I know where my dad keeps his gun...all this stuff.

Never reliving this life. Ever. 💕

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  • Elites

“I know you opened the door, where did you go while I was gone” “who’s a** do I gotta beat” “You would be dead if it weren’t for me” “everyone else in your life is a screw up and you’ll be just like them” “no one is allowed to look at my property” “your parents are probably happily dead bc they don’t have to deal with you anymore” “no one is gonna want you once I’m through with you”

Took a lot of growth to get over that phase in my life. Live and learn. You never take the small stuff for granted.

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