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Is The Honeymoon Phase A Real Thing?


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I’m sure we’ve all heard of the honeymoon phase. Where the relationship has just began or a new stage where everything feels fresh and you’re both at your top game of trying to impress and be there for your partner. 
My question is do you think that the cycle phase is a myth or true? 
Do you think as time goes on that “real love” is where you all can just exist with each other without needing to show love everyday?

my longest relationship was 5+ years and I never got over the butterflies. Even in the rough times I was still able to look at the person with a clean slate after every battle. The feeling of going the extra mile for them never wore off. Every moment was just as fresh an eventful for myself. So.. I would say for myself the honeymoon phase is a myth bc my kind of love never dissipated as time went on.

What are your thoughts?

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I went through this with a girl for 3 months before and after my divorce was finalized. Her name was Elizabeth. We cohabitated because she lived with her mom 3 hours away. I actually did what Onision suggested in a thread for long distant relationships, which was a trial run. She turned out to be someone I couldn't stand being around. She was selfish, manipulative, and a liar. Back then my ex wife was still in the picture as a co parent. We had joint custody. So Elizabeth would b*itch anytime I had my k***s. Wanted me to give up my rights. She wanted me all to herself and to have k***s with her. It was bad. She had mental problems, bad. I couldn't deal with her bullsh*it anymore. So she had to go. She's still 100x worse than my ex wife. 

I tried breaking up with her once. She would leave. She wouldn't take no for answer. This went on for 2 weeks.

I lied to her so I could I drove her to mom's and dropped her off. I had to lie to make her leave.  I fed her some bulls***t that I got evicted from my apartment and was moving back in with my mom, which was a complete lie. I even lied and said we could do a long distance relationship. Then I turned around, texted her, and said that I change my mind and that it was over. 

 

She's still 100x worse than my ex wife. Why I say that is because I couldn't get her to leave hardly and when I did get her to leave. She blew my phone up full of messages for a month. She tried to baby trap me by faking a pregnancy test. Contacted my parents on Facebook and upset my mother. Contacted my brother who laughed at me. When I told her to stop she kept on. Then when she realized it was over. She called DFS and the police and made some false reports that were fruitless. 

I'm glad she's gone. What a psycho.

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Some people just wanna do stuff with each other, then they get bored because neither person has an imagination...

You gotta explore each other like a GTAV, see all there is to see... some people, don't get past the first level in their relationships, they just play the same level over and over, and that's boring for anyone.

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32 minutes ago, Onision said:

Some people just wanna do stuff with each other, then they get bored because neither person has an imagination...

You gotta explore each other like a GTAV, see all there is to see... some people, don't get past the first level in their relationships, they just play the same level over and over, and that's boring for anyone.

I just thought the honey moon phase was falling in love first and then asking questions later. That happened to me a few times only to figure out that the girl I was with was a lying manipulative little a*sshole.

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There’s a actual medical thing called limbic att**ction (infatuation) which is what most people think of as the honeymoon phase. It’s when your body senses someone is genetically compatible for breeding through scent and really subtle pheromones we all give off.  Triggers your limbic system to flood your body with all these hormones and it makes it seem like the other person s***ts rainbows and farts vanilla scent. It only needs to last long enough to continue humanity so a lot of people get disillusioned when it wears off. That’s def not actual love though. They’ve done really funny studies in *** sciences where they make everyone wear the same shirt till it gets all nasty and funky with people’s Bo and then they make people sniff them and rate which one smells least horrid. Turns out if people meet the person who’s shirt they thought smelled the least bad (without knowing it is them) they get super f-ing infatuated with them and a good percent wind up dating. So idk find your dream girl at a rave or anime convention? Lol 
 

Real  Love actually takes work, is an active choice, and can be kinda boring sometimes. But it exists. 

 

when Rick is warning Morty it’s about infatuation since morty is a horny little monster hahaha

 

 

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Edited by Anna Chandler
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On 7/27/2021 at 12:34 PM, Terminated said:

I went through this with a girl for 3 months before and after my divorce was finalized. Her name was Elizabeth. We cohabitated because she lived with her mom 3 hours away. I actually did what Onision suggested in a thread for long distant relationships, which was a trial run. She turned out to be someone I couldn't stand being around. She was selfish, manipulative, and a liar. Back then my ex wife was still in the picture as a co parent. We had joint custody. So Elizabeth would b*itch anytime I had my k***s. Wanted me to give up my rights. She wanted me all to herself and to have k***s with her. It was bad. She had mental problems, bad. I couldn't deal with her bullsh*it anymore. So she had to go. She's still 100x worse than my ex wife. 

I tried breaking up with her once. She would leave. She wouldn't take no for answer. This went on for 2 weeks.

I lied to her so I could I drove her to mom's and dropped her off. I had to lie to make her leave.  I fed her some bulls***t that I got evicted from my apartment and was moving back in with my mom, which was a complete lie. I even lied and said we could do a long distance relationship. Then I turned around, texted her, and said that I change my mind and that it was over. 

 

She's still 100x worse than my ex wife. Why I say that is because I couldn't get her to leave hardly and when I did get her to leave. She blew my phone up full of messages for a month. She tried to baby trap me by faking a pregnancy test. Contacted my parents on Facebook and upset my mother. Contacted my brother who laughed at me. When I told her to stop she kept on. Then when she realized it was over. She called DFS and the police and made some false reports that were fruitless. 

I'm glad she's gone. What a psycho.

As soon as she tried to push your own k***s away I would’ve had a moment of snow penguin GIF

it’s the psycho behavior for me 😬 but we all get that type at one point or another. Glad you saw through it and got yourself out of a bad situation.

19 hours ago, Terminated said:

I just thought the honey moon phase was falling in love first and then asking questions later. That happened to me a few times only to figure out that the girl I was with was a lying manipulative little a*sshole.

I can see how it could apply to that as well. Never thought of it like that. My pov was more in a fresh, creative, try hard lens that typically happens at the beginning of relationships and dissipates into like an unspoken agreement to coexist as roommates that occasionally bang. Or does/did that beginning feeling never fade for yourself. 
I’ve been told that is effectuation and real love all the bells and whistles aren’t necessary. But I dunno, if you’re not excited about your relationship yet still together just bc it works is imo codependency.

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48 minutes ago, Leaf_ said:

As soon as she tried to push your own k***s away I would’ve had a moment of snow penguin GIF

it’s the psycho behavior for me 😬 but we all get that type at one point or another. Glad you saw through it and got yourself out of a bad situation.

I can see how it could apply to that as well. Never thought of it like that. My pov was more in a fresh, creative, try hard lens that typically happens at the beginning of relationships and dissipates into like an unspoken agreement to coexist as roommates that occasionally bang. Or does/did that beginning feeling never fade for yourself. 
I’ve been told that is effectuation and real love all the bells and whistles aren’t necessary. But I dunno, if you’re not excited about your relationship yet still together just bc it works is imo codependency.

I've had 4 different women over the years stay or live with me.

My first ever girlfriend from high school would occasionally come stay with me or would stay at her parents house when she wanted her space. I was living out of one of my mom's rental trailers at the time because we weren't getting along and my ex girlfriend would come and stay for a while. But we broke up and she moved off to stay with relatives 6 hours away. 

The second person was my ex wife. Who I was married to for almost 12 years. 

And then there was the psycho. Worst girlfriend EVER. No one compares. Not even my ex wife. NO ONE. She hadn't moved her furniture or bed into my apartment. She was long distance. 1 to 3 months is normally when someone shows their true colors. So I was testing the waters with her. She got comfortable and she became intolerable to be around. She always complained that all of the men left her. When everyone breaks up with you, then you're obviously "A PROBLEM" and she didn't get that. She had some really bad qualities. Like sending other men n**es behind my back and talking to her exes. I caught it on her phone & she lied like an a*sshole!  Lying about her felony charges for stealing from grocery stores like Target. Lying about her misdemeanor charges for petty theft. All she did was tell lie after lie after lie. She was f*ucking sociopath. And the problems I was having with her was piling up. 

One story that she told that REALLY P*ISSED ME OFF. Still p*isses me off is that she went into my k*ids room and threw up. She did not clean it up. I had two bathrooms at the apartment I was living in. One downstairs in the living room and one upstairs between the bedrooms. Her story did not come off convincing at all or why she was in my k*ids bedroom when this incident occurred. 

Another thing that aggravated me was her argument about my k*ids going to stay with her father. She told me a story about how she claimed she was sleeping with her father from the time she was 15 years old. He violated her. She's 29 presently. She went from villainizing to acting like he was the best guy in the world. 

Her logic DID NOT make sense. 

Then she wanted me give up my k*ids for HER. She said I needed to fight for her and she said and and I quote "It's always about the godd*amn k***s!" and I knew then it was time for her to p*iss off. She complained about them all of the time and the moment she started to do it. I begged her to stop. I knew this relationship was f*ucked then and I knew I couldn't keep sweeping it under the rug. I told her TWICE to STOP. She did not heed my warning. 

And then after I left her and drove her 3 to her mom's. She begged on the way there, tried to kiss me and to give me oral. Her mom met us and I loaded her suitcase into her sister's truck and waved her off. I did not want her touching me.

 She made my life a LIVING H*ELL for a WHOLE F*UCKING MONTH after that. I told the b*itch she didn't ever need to have k*ids. She didn't need to get with anyone who had k*ids. In fact I told she needed to stay single because she's the walking talking embodiment of a lawsuit waiting to happen. I told her she needed to get help. That her mental problems was the reason no man was ever going to stay with her. 

She har*assed me so bad that I had to make a statement with the police department and file a har*assment complaint after she false reported me to DFS and accused me of abusing my k*ids, faked a pregnancy test, and har*assed several of family members on Facebook. She would call me up twice a day and beg and beg for me to take her back. She would claim that she cared about my k*ids which was a bold faced lie. 

I'm glad it's over. 

I am happy with the current girlfriend I'm with. She doesn't pull ANY of the bullsh*it the last one did. I never want to go through that nightmare again. 

Edited by Terminated
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2 minutes ago, Terminated said:

Then she wanted me give up my k*ids for HER. She said I needed to fight for her and she said and and I quote "It's always about the godd*amn k***s!" and I knew then

No s***t it’s all about the k***s. Why the h**l wouldn’t it be? Maybe she needs to fight for you instead? Geez

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6 minutes ago, Anna Chandler said:

No s***t it’s all about the k***s. Why the h**l wouldn’t it be? Maybe she needs to fight for you instead? Geez

She was really really unstable. I was afraid she was going to hurt them. I'd come home and she'd be sitting in the dark just staring blankly at a wall. She'd complain about how she was having bad days. Wouldn't tell me anything. I just sensed som*thing was very very wrong with her. She needed help and I couldn't give that to her. I couldn't be the guy she wanted me to be. Not to mention the things she was doing was piling up. She was testing me and she'd do som*thing different every other day. I didn't like it. I've never had a woman do me the way she's done me. 

Have you ever been around someone and you just get this dark and painful feeling or vibe  that this is someone that you should probably run and get away from? 

That was what I started getting from her and it grew worse by the day. 

Edited by Terminated
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4 minutes ago, Terminated said:

Have you ever been around someone and you just get this dark and painful feeling or vibe  that this is someone that you should probably run and get away from? 

My upbringing has made me really desensitized to and proficient in caring for dangerously mentally ill people (my parents) so I’m sorry you had to go through this. It really s*cks. It’s totally okay that you had to tap out. So I haven’t had the feeling I should run since my sense of normal is skewed but I do know what watching the staring in the dark and stuff feels like and it’s terrifying 

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