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Have you ever had to cut someone out of your life?


Ann
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I mean, has there ever been someone in your life that you cared about, but you had to remove them from your life, or at least distance yourself from them due to their effect on you? For instance I have a friend I've known for years, I care about him, but he's always getting into so much drama and now has addiction issues. And I'm heartbroken and torn between being there for them because I really care, or distancing myself because they keep doing really, really stupid things and bringing horrid drama to my door. 

Have you ever cared about someone but had to remove them from your life for your own well being? Or am I being selfish??

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You're not selfish for doing that. I know it's hard, but you don't need to surround yourself with people like that. As for me, not really. I mean I stopped communicating with my best friend because she stopped communicating with me first. Also I have a cousin I never talk to or visit anymore because she's had problems with dru gs for years and we were close when we were ki ds. It's sad looking back at the way things used to be.

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6 minutes ago, Kaitlind said:

You're not selfish for doing that. I know it's hard, but you don't need to surround yourself with people like that. As for me, not really. I mean I stopped communicating with my best friend because she stopped communicating with me first. Also I have a cousin I never talk to or visit because she's had problems with d***s for years and we were close when we were k***s. It's sad looking back at the way things used to be.

Thanks for sharing that. It is horrible to have to distance yourself from people, or lose people from your life, but sometimes things need to be that way for your own sanity, I guess. I suppose I feel bad because I've known them years and care about them genuinely but their continued mess keeps arriving at my door and I could do without that

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1 minute ago, Ann said:

Thanks for sharing that. It is horrible to have to distance yourself from people, or lose people from your life, but sometimes things need to be that way for your own sanity, I guess. I suppose I feel bad because I've known them years and care about them genuinely but their continued mess keeps arriving at my door and I could do without that

Of course ♥️

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Yes, absolutely.

It’s super difficult when you’re tied to someone romantically but they are just bad for you. 

To be honest, I still struggle with decisions I’ve made but, if you’ve done it for the right reasons, you have to stand by that choice.

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Yes. I mean I don't even talk to my own parents . They were the hardest to cut out. It wasn't because they were bad.

 

I cut them out because I had the tendency to listen to everything they said, and try to make them happy. I wasn't living my life. They were extremely controlling people   after a while ,it would make me sad if they would call because they would tell me how bad I was, or how wrong things were , how much I sin and am a selfish t*rrible daughter for going to college and stuff.

 

I think after a few years of not being on socials with them and rarely seeing them we are on an occasional talking basis. But I will never talk to them regularly , or see them frequently.  I love them. But they make me feel t*rrible, like I will never be good enough for anyone ,can't deal with it.

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Yes. I've done that with a lot of people. It's really the only way you can move on and solve the issues they're causing. Like my ex wife for example. I had to quit talking to her. Every time I talked to her she would say that I had been nothing but a starter boyfriend to her and I was like, "We were married for 11 years though." that was very upsetting to hear. She was just saying sh*it to upset me. 

Another example is how a girlfriend back in 2006 slept with my best friend. They both made up a bunch of lies, dragged my name through the mud, and succeeded in getting my other friends to ostracize me. They had no evidence of the things they accused me of. He came back in 2011 and apologized for what he did. But I told him I wasn't interested in being friends. I'd moved on. I'm over the girl. But it still hurts because it was my best friend from the 3rd grade that did that to me. That hurt. That caused me to have trust issues. 

Another friend I had no choice to cut out. There was evidence that he was domestically ab**ive. There was a police report. He was found guilty of domestic violence and **** in the report. He plead guilty. I cut ties with him. 

I've had to break up and quit talking to other women because they were tox*c and manipulative. I couldn't stay with them and put up with their sh*it. So yes. Break ups and burning bridges is like opening a window and letting the air back into the room. Some people are just too mentally unhealthy to be around. 

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