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How many times would you get married in your life?


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Currently very happily married. I wouldn't remarry if this one somehow went wrong. So this will be my first and only for me, personally. But everyone's different and has to do what makes them happy etc 

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I feel like three strikes you’re out makes sense. At some point you just gotta admit you are the problem… I’m not there, I’d probably stop at two, but three times? Yeah may as well give it up, try som*thing else, like just date only at that point.

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I feel like it’s up to the person. People marry for different reasons. Some people spend their whole lives searching for their soul mate and end up dating or marrying the wrong person or people. Sometimes it doesn’t work out because one person falls out of love or simply just doesn’t want to put in the effort it takes to keep it going. Then there are those that don’t really marry for commitment it’s more that they are caught up in the moment. The world is far different than it was or seems to have been 50 years ago. 

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I've never been married. I don't really want to...but that's me personally. Maybe it's too late in my life, maybe I have to work out some wiring of it not being a bit of a negative thing. I've been proposed to a bit, to be let down. I've seen too many divorces that were hurtful. 

I feel like...1 failed divorce would set me never to do that again. 

Maybe 4..5? I suppose just do what makes you happy & make sure it's healthy... just learn. Geez that's so tough for me to answer 😕

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So I've been married twice. The 1st was done with real, honest intentions. I was 19 and thought I was in love. I had no concept of real love at the time though, and learned the hard way that love is not enough when it comes to marriage. I was too young and he ended up being an emotionally ab**ive, narcissistic, controlling j*rk, so I left him.

The 2nd time was when I was in the military. I was dating a guy and he wanted to get married so we could possibly get stationed in the same place and still be together. I thought it was a bad idea, and honestly wasn't really ready to be tied down that way. He pressured me some, and I gave in on the condition that we could have an open marriage. Needless to say, we didn't stay together in the end.

Like anyone else, I'd like to find that forever someone. I'm not sure that person exists for me. I think if I did get married a 3rd time and that one failed too, then I would just kind of give up. I've kind of given up now in a sense already, but there's always that little bit of hope I'll find that special someone who not only loves me, but fits me as well. 

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52 minutes ago, OldGreqq said:

So I've been married twice. The 1st was done with real, honest intentions. I was 19 and thought I was in love. I had no concept of real love at the time though, and learned the hard way that love is not enough when it comes to marriage. I was too young and he ended up being an emotionally ab**ive, narcissistic, controlling j*rk, so I left him.

The 2nd time was when I was in the military. I was dating a guy and he wanted to get married so we could possibly get stationed in the same place and still be together. I thought it was a bad idea, and honestly wasn't really ready to be tied down that way. He pressured me some, and I gave in on the condition that we could have an open marriage. Needless to say, we didn't stay together in the end.

Like anyone else, I'd like to find that forever someone. I'm not sure that person exists for me. I think if I did get married a 3rd time and that one failed too, then I would just kind of give up. I've kind of given up now in a sense already, but there's always that little bit of hope I'll find that special someone who not only loves me, but fits me as well. 

Awww. Well I hope you do find that forever person! You deserve that happiness. I kind of feel the same, only I've never been married and it's strange to even feel like I'd ever be. I really haven't given up but more so stopped my searching. Sometimes that's the answer to finding things, which is weird I guess to say... if it happens it does. If it doesn't, it's important to just be in a healthy and happy relationship with yourself. Whichever way it goes for you, I wish you the best and loving outcome. 💕

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4 hours ago, brittniisundae said:

Awww. Well I hope you do find that forever person! You deserve that happiness. I kind of feel the same, only I've never been married and it's strange to even feel like I'd ever be. I really haven't given up but more so stopped my searching. Sometimes that's the answer to finding things, which is weird I guess to say... if it happens it does. If it doesn't, it's important to just be in a healthy and happy relationship with yourself. Whichever way it goes for you, I wish you the best and loving outcome. 💕

Yes, that is how I feel too. I've stopped my searching and if it happens, it happens. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Thank you for sweet words and I wish for the same for you. 💜

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I've been married once and that was for almost 12 years. In that time I've been cheated on and lied to. We had our petty screaming fights and our differences. 

My girlfriend's parents wants us to get married. They've brought it up a few times. But we're going to wait. 

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11 minutes ago, Leaf_ said:

I’ve always said I’ll never get married it’s not my thing but now that I’m older I just might be up for it one day. For me the max would be two.

It really depends on how that special someone makes you feel, right?

 I swore never to get married or have k*ids when I was younger. But then I met my ex wife. She came along and it's like she had this influence over me and before I knew it. I was proposing to her. Then the next thing I know I've got 2 k*ids by her. 

Edited by Terminated
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1 minute ago, t*rminated said:

It really depends on how that special someone makes you feel. I swore never to get married or have k***s when I was younger. But then I met my ex wife came along and it's like she had this influence over me and before I knew it. I was proposing to her. Then the next thing I know I've got 2 k***s by her. 

Awh that’s what most anyone could wish for. I’m glad you’re happy and wish you guys the best! I love seeing/hearing about love working out 🙌🏻 

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7 minutes ago, Leaf_ said:

Awh that’s what most anyone could wish for. I’m glad you’re happy and wish you guys the best! I love seeing/hearing about love working out 🙌🏻 

lol we haven't been together for 2 years. My divorce was final in January the 22nd. 

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1 minute ago, t*rminated said:

lol we haven't been together for 2 years. My divorce was final in January the 22nd. 

😭 you hyped it up man you got me 😆 but that’s why I don’t really understand marriage bc you don’t know if it is going to last. It’s a commitment to love a person ten, twenty years down the road that may be a complete different person that you first got with. I’ve only seen three marriages work out out of everyone I’ve known. I’m flexible enough to grow with the person I’d commit to but it’s always a question if the other is willing to do the same when things get tough at times. And making the breaking up process more difficult with adding in legal barriers... I just don’t see the point.

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3 minutes ago, Leaf_ said:

😭 you hyped it up man you got me 😆 but that’s why I don’t really understand marriage bc you don’t know if it is going to last. It’s a commitment to love a person ten, twenty years down the road that may be a complete different person that you first got with. I’ve only seen three marriages work out out of everyone I’ve known. I’m flexible enough to grow with the person I’d commit to but it’s always a question if the other is willing to do the same when things get tough at times. And making the breaking up process more difficult with adding in legal barriers... I just don’t see the point.

There's this guy I work with. He was married for 25 years before his wife left him for someone else. They went and got lawyers. He cried first about how she didn't love him anymore. Then he became bitter and now he hates her. Then a few months later my ex wife came home and begged me for a divorce and confessed that she'd been screwing other men. 

I get where you're coming from. I've accepted that a relationship can end at any time. For me, it's not about how long it's going to last. I take it day to day. It's the enjoyment that I get out of a relationship. If it has to end than it has to end. Better to let it d*e then to stay in a tox*ic relationship where you're off and on with eachother.

My ex wife left me a total of 9 times before she really left and I had to file for divorce. Looking back now. She really didn't want to be with me. I was just fooling myself and thinking that everything was all good when it wasn't. 

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I'm not sure if I really want to marry again. A lot of people get tired of each other after a few decades and want out for whatever reason. Like someone said in the thread. It doesn't feel worth marrying if that's going to happen every time you get with someone. Best just be in a relationship and if they leave you, then you're not stuck having to pay a lawyer all of this money to get you out of it and then you don't have to deal with their lawyer causing you a bigger headache. 

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I shall only marry once. 

I'm married now. (17yrs last May) I can't see us getting a divorce but no one knows the future. Either by his passing or by divorce, I wouldn't remarry. 

Funny thing is, growing up, is never thought I'd get married, let alone married this long or even have ch*ldren for that matter. While all my girl friends dreamed up the perfect wedding and the whole shebang!...I was like "eh, if it happens it happens." annnd here I am! 🤣😆🤣 

I just gooooo with the flow of life and this is where it's led me. 😁 

 

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I'm happy with my life

I feel for me personally marriage/dating would be a hindrance. You lose a lot of freedom when married/dating. You have to set aside time, money, & decisions when in a relationship. I like being able to do what I want when I want. My "friends" say that is selfish behavior but I'm not the one crying about a relationship at the end of the day. So who exactly is the truly happy one? 🤣

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15 hours ago, Two said:

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I'm happy with my life

I feel for me personally marriage/dating would be a hindrance. You lose a lot of freedom when married/dating. You have to set aside time, money, & decisions when in a relationship. I like being able to do what I want when I want. My "friends" say that is selfish behavior but I'm not the one crying about a relationship at the end of the day. So who exactly is the truly happy one? 🤣

I respect that. There's nothing selfish about it. Happiness is subjective. If your friends think that happiness is getting with a guy and having 2 or more ch*ldren with him. That's fine. More power to them. But that's not for you. They need to understand that YOU'RE not THEM and accept it. 

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2 hours ago, t*rminated said:

I respect that. There's nothing selfish about it. Happiness is subjective. If your friends think that happiness is getting with a guy and having 2 or more ch*ldren with him. That's fine. More power to them. But that's not for you. They need to understand that YOU'RE not THEM and accept it. 

I think my friends are disappointed that we are not as close anymore. Because we live 2 completely different lifestyles it is so hard to find common ground & relate. I try to stay connected but Holy F☆ck I can only fake interest in Tupperware & mascara pyramid schemes for so long. 😅 And it's not like they have the free time to do the things I do. 

I really need to find a sensitive & gentle way to tell them I don't want to be a part of their mommy group

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3 hours ago, Two said:

I think my friends are disappointed that we are not as close anymore. Because we live 2 completely different lifestyles it is so hard to find common ground & relate. I try to stay connected but Holy F☆ck I can only fake interest in Tupperware & mascara pyramid schemes for so long. 😅 And it's not like they have the free time to do the things I do. 

I really need to find a sensitive & gentle way to tell them I don't want to be a part of their mommy group

I wonder why your personal life is so concerning to them. Perhaps they're upset because they vicariously cannot live through you.

It's okay to grow apart. Friends come and go.

They made their decision to become tied down. You didn't agree to those terms when you became friends with them. I wonder why they think the definition of friendship is do as I do.

You're a free and independent woman. Free to make your own decisions.

I don't think you're the type to gripe at them for their decisions. You respect them. They need to reciprocate that respect. Sometimes friends need to be put in their place.

Or perhaps you just need new friends. 

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On 7/28/2021 at 10:06 PM, t*rminated said:

I wonder why your personal life is so concerning to them. Perhaps they're upset because they vicariously cannot live through you.

It's okay to grow apart. Friends come and go.

They made their decision to become tied down. You didn't agree to those terms when you became friends with them. I wonder why they think the definition of friendship is do as I do.

You're a free and independent woman. Free to make your own decisions.

I don't think you're the type to gripe at them for their decisions. You respect them. They need to reciprocate that respect. Sometimes friends need to be put in their place.

Or perhaps you just need new friends. 

It's clique mentality, I grew up with these women. Since 5yrs old we were on the same dance troop, then we grew up together in high school. College split us up but then they all moved back to a city close to our hometown & got married/settled down... I didn't do that. So I empathize a little because it does look like I f☆cked off to do my own thing.

I have more online friends now

IRL I like having "in the moment" friends. Example: the random person you end up chatting with while waiting for coffee/food & the people you meet on a tour, etc.

If anything this taught me not all connections are supposed to last a lifetime.

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