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Could you remain close friends with an ex?


Ann
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I've wondered about this. Do you think it's plausible to try to remain friends with an ex or will the emotional baggage make it too difficult?

Have you managed to maintain close friendships with ex partners?

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I've tried. But it was too unhealthy... even as "just friends" it was a shadow of trying to get me back, manipulation, lying, or showing no change whatsoever. People I wouldn't want to be friends with nor "start over" again. They couldn't hold a conversation with me without digging up the past, and I don't want to feel that stuff again. So it's been really a no go for me.

I feel like some people may have more success than others though.

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I've tried that with several g*rls especially my ex wife. No it doesn't work out.

I've tried my hardest to be very polite and diplomatic and they always say sh*it to **** me off. I tried co-parenting with my ex wife. But she would throw insults at me and for a while I sat back and took it before I stopped talking to her.

Other than that, I've had a lot of g*rls that I dated that I just quit talking to. I don't do well being friends with women who broke up with me or I broke up with them. Too many hard feelings. 

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10 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

I've tried that with several g*rls especially my ex wife. No it doesn't work out.

I've tried my hardest to be very polite and diplomatic and they always say sh*it to **** me off. I tried co-parenting with my ex wife. But she would throw insults at me and for a while I sat back and took it before I stopped talking to her.

Other than that, I've had a lot of g*rls that I dated that I just quit talking to. I don't do well being friends with women who broke up with me or I broke up with them. Too many hard feelings. 

Yeah I think that's the main issue, really. There's so much emotional baggage with exes that I'm not sure it'd be easy to let that go. Even with the best of intentions. 

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  • Elites

I’m good friends with a few ex’s. No awkwardness except when they try to bring up getting with me again and I just shut it down and it’s like no hard feelings on either end. Some people may have feelings and try to see if things can spark up again but when it’s an obvious hard pass some times they can be mature enough to accept that at least for the time being.

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10 minutes ago, Ann said:

Yeah I think that's the main issue, really. There's so much emotional baggage with exes that I'm not sure it'd be easy to let that go. Even with the best of intentions. 

I agree. I think we forget sometimes that these things don't end on the best of terms. What happens when you burn the bridge is that you become enemies in the process and what you really need is A LOT of time apart. Not more time together. People grow apart. Things happen. There's nothing wrong with washing your hands of each other. 

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