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Ann
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That's just utterly heartbreaking. 

You absolutely have so much more to give/experience/accomplish.

See this mess as a break in your story -- not the full stop. 

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3 minutes ago, Ann said:

That's just utterly heartbreaking. 

You absolutely have so much more to give/experience/accomplish.

See this mess as a break in your story -- not the full stop. 

This is why you don't lie about people. Lies ruin the liar and the person lied about. And if you're making money while doing it? Ruining an innocent person's life? How could anyone forgive you? How could that person trust anyone ever again knowing how evil people are?

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People who lie and make money off those lies... that's a whole new low. 

Humanity is full of tox*c people. So tox*c that it's sometimes all you can see. It's all you start to believe is out there. But there is good out there. Trust that and just surround yourself with your loved ones and those you feel safe with. 

You'll likely have your guard up forever and that's understandable. 

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39 minutes ago, Onision said:

I think people would find out I'm pretty much a complete destroyed person. That I'm unwilling to get close to anyone who is not already close in my life and that I've lost complete faith in humanity.

I think I have little to offer anyone at this point. I am a broken man.

My ability to trust most anything anyone says at this point is gone. To have a meaningful conversation with someone I was just meeting would be a difficult task because everything they say I wouldn't believe is real. What a lot of people don't understand is I've had people swear on their own lives, on the lives of others that they are genuine and honest, and they lie anyway and laugh about how they lied.

I’m sorry you’ve encountered so many people like that. 😞 I always picture myself having genuine convos with you, even being a friend of yours. But I honestly get it.. trust has been broken with me a lot too. You deserve to be happy and safe and feel loved. 
 

Keep taking care of you 💕

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54 minutes ago, Onision said:

I think people would find out I'm pretty much a complete destroyed person. That I'm unwilling to get close to anyone who is not already close in my life and that I've lost complete faith in humanity.

I think I have little to offer anyone at this point. I am a broken man.

My ability to trust most anything anyone says at this point is gone. To have a meaningful conversation with someone I was just meeting would be a difficult task because everything they say I wouldn't believe is real. What a lot of people don't understand is I've had people swear on their own lives, on the lives of others that they are genuine and honest, and they lie anyway and laugh about how they lied.

I’m very sorry your going through this 😞 I know the feeling to well. I think that’s why I have a hard time trusting anyone because of people lying to me and just making it into a sick game for their own amus*****nt. I’m hoping things get better for you soon Onision

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  • Elites

I don’t blame Onision one bit for not trusting anyone. I’m the same. It’s one of the hardest lessons in life. I am brutally honest but it seems that if you are honest, you tend to meet mostly liars. I have no idea how people could lie so much and sleep at night knowing they ruined someone. For the past 5 years I have learned to let people earn trust and even with that, I still put trust in the wrong people. So I am extremely careful with letting anyone get to know me or letting them in my life at all. I only talk about things that I wouldn’t care if the world knows. Anyone could promise me anything but I would never fully believe them. I have a very guarded heart and it takes a lot more than words to get through to it. What happened to me that made me this way is not what happened to Onision, it’s on a whole different level. I believe it’s made me a much stronger person. 

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On 7/19/2021 at 4:55 PM, Onision said:

It's kind of ridiculous at this point. People will write me, acting like they're an ally, but get nowhere. They say nice things, thinking I'll warm up to them, then I don't. "Sorry bud, everything's been taken, the heart, the mind, the soul, there's nothing left for you to feast on with your pretend concern. You're human, I know what you're up to."

Those terms are acceptable. I didn't join this forum expecting you to be my friend or to give me anything. I'm perfectly fine with you keeping me on as an acquaintance. That's how I treat everyone in my life. People have to prove themselves before I decide they're my "friend". I just like to debate and talk to people. I don't want people putting on an act trying to win me over. I want them to show me who they are. People are buddy buddy when it suits them. Then when you say som*thing that triggers them then it's f*uck you. People change in a heart beat when they don't get what they want. Just like that one freak that I got into a religious debate with and he resorted to throwing Ad Hominem's (insults) just because he couldn't back up his sh*it claims. He was the perfect example of putting on an act until it no longer suited him. 

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On 7/19/2021 at 5:55 PM, Onision said:

It's kind of ridiculous at this point. People will write me, acting like they're an ally, but get nowhere. They say nice things, thinking I'll warm up to them, then I don't. "Sorry bud, everything's been taken, the heart, the mind, the soul, there's nothing left for you to feast on with your pretend concern. You're human, I know what you're up to."

Not everyone pretends though or has fake concern. Despite what you’ve been through- there are decent people and this is coming from someone who feels how you do. Protecting yourself or your trust is not wrong, that’s understandable and smart but not everyone is going to be a liar or co*a*d like you’ve experienced. If you feel this way, no one should push you but please don’t lose your heart. Doesn’t mean you have to give it away or anything people want from you. I wish there was a way I could prove to you not everyone will hurt you or try to, but because I respect you so much I will not push my opinion onto you. I know what you’ve been through and I don’t know you personally, but I care. You shouldn’t have to feel this way because of others actions, you deserve better 🙏 wish you everything that brings you peace in life. 

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Generally this is why it's good to avoid, at the very least, folks who jump to extremes... extreme love, extreme hate... it's almost equally scary because both are not reflections of the real world or respecting the person their attention is directed at with the humanity they deserve.

Everyone is imperfect, everyone has qualities and the lack-thereof... so to fully hate or fully love, that takes a person who is not living in the real world. So you see someone living by those extremes, better to consider running than sticking around in many cases.

Loving hugs turn into suffocating death grips all the time.

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9 minutes ago, Onision said:

Generally this is why it's good to avoid, at the very least, folks who jump to extremes... extreme love, extreme hate... it's almost equally scary because both are not reflections of the real world or respecting the person their attention is directed at with the humanity they deserve.

Everyone is imperfect, everyone has qualities and the lack-thereof... so to fully hate or fully love, that takes a person who is not living in the real world. So you see someone living by those extremes, better to consider running than sticking around in many cases.

Loving hugs turn into suffocating death grips all the time.

While I don’t agree with you fully, we’re different people. I do understand and when you say something like that or warn people that you like your freedom, pay attention to how they act. Do they encourage you to do what you feel or do they hold on tighter. You know you best, and your perception matters more than mine in this case. I respect you, and the way you choose to see things. How can I not ? 💜 

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On 7/19/2021 at 11:08 PM, Onision said:

I think people would find out I'm pretty much a complete destroyed person. That I'm unwilling to get close to anyone who is not already close in my life and that I've lost complete faith in humanity.

I think I have little to offer anyone at this point. I am a broken man.

My ability to trust most anything anyone says at this point is gone. To have a meaningful conversation with someone I was just meeting would be a difficult task because everything they say I wouldn't believe is real. What a lot of people don't understand is I've had people swear on their own lives, on the lives of others that they are genuine and honest, and they lie anyway and laugh about how they lied.

I can relate to what you say. In my case, I feel like I've tried really hard , way too hard to be happy. To avoid that feeling of emptiness that I've always had. To force myself into fake emotions to the point I end up believing them.

Talking about people, there is something I'd like to share. It's not fun and games. People change their minds, people can be mean.

We have to adapt to situations and , I think that accepting when everything is falling appart is one of the most sincere things you can do to yourself.

But it feels like trash, it's a pain that you can try to "enmascarade" but at your lowest it will come back.

I am not really sure if there is truly a certain way to cope with pain, or we are just palliating it. The symptoms.

Of a broken heart. We do not heal, we forget.

That's the only thing we have left in this world for being able to cope with the fact of our irrelevant existance.

Not forgiving, forgetting.

We will always have that, new people can make you forget.

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40 minutes ago, SummertimmeSahneh said:

That's the only thing we have left in this world for being able to cope with the fact of our irrelevant existance.

We know we're irrelevant, so why do we not focus more on just being happy? If it doesn't matter anyway, why not have a little fun with life? Like play more games, watch more of your favorite shows etc.

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