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What do you guys think about LDR couples moving in together?


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me and my boyfriend have been in an LDR relationship for about 2 years now and have met up twice, planning a third in the coming month. we're going to take the step and move in together February 2021, and it got me thinking.. what do you guys think? do you think there's ever an appropriate time? what about when it's inappropriate? or is it just not in the question? let me know! for me, i think it was only a consideration i was willing to take after two years - and we made it! plus, we've met a handful of times and i feel like he's so perfect >//w//>

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9 minutes ago, Frosty said:

me and my boyfriend have been in an LDR relationship for about 2 years now and have met up twice, planning a third in the coming month. we're going to take the step and move in together February 2021, and it got me thinking.. what do you guys think? do you think there's ever an appropriate time? what about when it's inappropriate? or is it just not in the question? let me know! for me, i think it was only a consideration i was willing to take after two years - and we made it! plus, we've met a handful of times and i feel like he's so perfect >//w//>

Right, so I don't think it's my place to judge anyone for their life choices, but since you asked for opinions, I will give mine...And please don't h**e me for being a negative Nancy.

If it was me, I wouldn't do it. Personally, I think it puts you into a dangerous position. If you've only met twice in real life, then that means all contact has been virtually. People can become anyone they want over the phone or internet. It's hard to make honest character assessments when the majority of contact you've had is long distance. This person could be ab**ive or an addict of some kind, or have a myriad of other bad behaviors. While this could be a risk in any relationship, long distance or not, frequent in person contact where you can observe their behavior towards you and others would probably expose some of those red flags. You don't get those red flags virtually. A person can display only their best side to you while hiding their darker side much easier.

All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck in your future relationship, but please be careful.

 

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"Sure, follow your heart! Do what makes you happy!" 

Now that we've skipped over that part, there's a...science to living with another human being. You never truly know a person until you're living with them and all their little quirks/habits are on full display. I had an ex that loved to stack aluminum cans on the living room table after she finished. It was cute and "lol quirky" at first, until the towers kept...spawning. Prior to that, if you would've asked me what my pet peeve was for a roommate....stacking cans wouldn't have been anywhere on that list for me. But now....

That's really the point, though. 2 years is kinda around the time when a "normal" couple would think about merging their lives. 2 years for an LDR...unless you all know each other VERY well -- and I mean very well -- you might end up in an interesting situation. Especially when there's a lease agreement that neither of you can afford to break. Then you're just live in hostages, waiting for that 12 month lease to lapse.

Yet all of that means nothing if you're comfortable with and trust each other. I hope you're both having those crucial conversations early or plan on having them at some point.

Best of luck, though.

[Edit]:

...and like above. Ensure that the person isn't ab**ive, a drug addict, alcoholic, etc. Keep in mind that you'll be asleep in the same place as this person, and you wont be cuddling cutely every night. 

Also ensure that your finances are in order in case you need to jump ship.

 

Edited by Jeremy
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7 minutes ago, OldGreqq said:

Right, so I don't think it's my place to judge anyone for their life choices, but since you asked for opinions, I will give mine...And please don't h**e me for being a negative Nancy.

If it was me, I wouldn't do it. Personally, I think it puts you into a dangerous position. If you've only met twice in real life, then that means all contact has been virtually. People can become anyone they want over the phone or internet. It's hard to make honest character assessments when the majority of contact you've had is long distance. This person could be ab**ive or an addict of some kind, or have a myriad of other bad behaviors. While this could be a risk in any relationship, long distance or not, frequent in person contact where you can observe their behavior towards you and others would probably expose some of those red flags. You don't get those red flags virtually. A person can display only their best side to you while hiding their darker side much easier.

All I can say is that I wish you the best of luck in your future relationship, but please be careful.

thank you both for your concern about me, but i may have phrased my question wrong! i apologize for that, but i meant to ask in the context of "if you were in this situation", not about my situation specifically - im confident and comfortable! we're very open - im a recovering alcoholic and he has his own issues that are very well known and discussed. Of course you are still free to express concerns on my situation but I wanted to clarify that it wasn't specifically what i was asking about in case that was unclear! i was curious if others were in this situation what would they think. thanks for your concerns again, you two! ^w^ i apologize for having a hard time formatting words hahahaha

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On 7/12/2021 at 5:55 PM, Frosty said:

me and my boyfriend have been in an LDR relationship for about 2 years now and have met up twice, planning a third in the coming month. we're going to take the step and move in together February 2021, and it got me thinking.. what do you guys think? do you think there's ever an appropriate time? what about when it's inappropriate? or is it just not in the question? let me know! for me, i think it was only a consideration i was willing to take after two years - and we made it! plus, we've met a handful of times and i feel like he's so perfect >//w//>

 

I personally am not a fan of long distant relationships. I myself don't have that kind of patience. But  it's worked well for other people. 

As for there being an appropriate time. Remember, this is your relationship. Your relationship, your rules. You and your boyfriend decide what's appropriate what, where, and when. It's up to you. It's no one else's business to tell you what you can and can't do with your relationship. If you want to live together and you feel it's time to take that next step. Then it's time perhaps. 

Edited by Terminated
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  • Elites

If you’ve weighed out all the pros and cons and feeling confident about the decision there’s no such thing as the right time but no better time than the present. 
 

I personally feel like I won’t move in with any future s/o’s if I were to go down a relationship path again. I like having a bit of time to get away and have my own things just the way I like em.

 

hope everything works out with y’all I love hearing about love ☺️

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  • Elites
Posted (edited)

It didn’t work out for me. I tried twice with two different guys but the difference is that they were actually over seas lol. Go big or go home right? Lmao. After the second, I decided to never even try to date another person that wasn’t in the USA lol!

I should add that if it was LD within the USA then maybe it would work out. Idk. 

Edited by Definitely_different
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So best bet is to have a TRIAL RUN before you let someone move in, see how it goes for a couple months, if you last, THEN consider moving your stuff, but not till then.

Me personally, I got lucky once with a really cool person who was actually chill to be around 24/7 - but there was another person I had to call the cops on, so... you know, trial run.

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I just need to share this moment of stupidity, someone may get a laugh…

Thought that meant Lana Del Rey couples from that abbreviation 🤣

Was trying to figure out what kind of couple that would be until I read more. My brain sometimes, I wonder 💭 

Long distance can be hard, mine didn’t work out because he didn’t have a job at the time and I was working a lot. He had no life essentially and would get mad that I didn’t want to sit on the phone and discuss nothing basically. He was a smart guy too, he’d ask me how was your day and had nothing to share. It created distance and when he came here to visit again- I saw incompatible details that he ignored. Seemed like the situation wasn’t going anywhere or helping me to mature or be a better person. se* was an issue too, I’m not going to share the details exactly but he was not being fair to me and I was pleasing him while being left like I was single. Even when we did see each other, he didn’t understand that aspect and refused to see my side of it. I didn’t seek it elsewhere either mind you while he was also creating dating profiles 🤨

I broke it off and he refused to communicate so I left it alone and won’t do long distance again unless it’s a compatible, mature person who gets it. 

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