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Ever Worried about being the tox*c one? What's your tox*c trait?


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Probably the top one, the one I'm working at most...the..

Oh, no. All my avoiding from upsetting things during the past year or two, it all was just magically released after a very small incident that could easily be cleaned up. But everyone "hates me" and it's a bad world. 🤦‍♀️

Happy Birthday Smile GIF by Robert E Blackmon

People have been understanding, and helpful. ❤ But it's me & I'm in charge to correct this behavior. 

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I think I have been tox*c in my early relationships. I had anger problems and would just b*itch about things for days.

One girl I was with left me over it. Said she couldn't deal with it anymore. Told me I needed to get help and knock off the sh*it when it came to harping on people and how aggravated I get. 

A few days ago. I got real b*itchy. It doesn't happen that often. I'm not proud of it when it does it happen. I feel horrible about it. Because I feel really low after it happens. I had a slight melt down and I h**e that about myself.

Sometimes I can take a deep breath and control it. Other times I slip up and give into it. But I'd rather improve and not give in. I just remind myself that I'm a weak person if I do. 

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My tox*c trait is probably my intense avoidance of confrontation, to the point where I won’t communicate when som*thing bothers me because I don’t want to upset the other person, but it just festers until I blow up unfairly on someone who has no idea I was even upset cuz I refuse to express myself hahahahahahaha :,) 

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1 hour ago, Harriet Binkie said:

It absolutely is those people are criminals and horrible, and I'm so glad you got out of that t*****e t*xic relationship ❤️

Yes and no. He may be out of that relationship. But with his ex girlfriend being spiteful and vindictive.

His ex turned half a nation on him. Now she has trolls and crazies harrassing Onision and doing her dirty work for her. 

It's hard to move on when you have people constantly reminding you about it and throwing claims left and right about sh*it they don't know about.

 The relationship part is over. It's been replaced with a whole new relationship.

One where she uses people to harrass him. But she's his worst enemy and she seems to be the type that's going to take this as far as she can go with it.

So no I don't think it's 100 percent over. Not until she tells Discovery that she lied and committed fraud. She's a sociopath. That's expecting too much of her.

Onision is still putting up with her, and every white knight who fights for her. He's dealing with that kind of bullsh*it. 

And like him. I've been with and broken up with some pretty degenerate women who do everything they can to get even over petty sh*it like a break up. Some g*rls cant take rejection.

He had a bad relationship. That's all it was. Everyone has them. 

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  • Elites

I tend to catastrophize. I allow my anxiety to get the best of me and normally assume that interactions with people that probably went well, did not and so I withdraw. I tend to be comfortable with very few people in person. Online its not so bad. I can go away whenever I want and I don’t feel obligated to initiate conversation if that makes sense to anyone.

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What is important for all of you is that you accept that you are not perfect and maybe say to yourself "Ok, I can't for sure fix this, can I at least mold it to work in my favor?" as a lot of people fight themselves their whole life rather than just adapting to it...

Like someone who cusses a lot, just work in an environment where that is acceptable, and stop trying to change yourself into something you can never be.

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On 11/28/2021 at 10:27 PM, Admin said:

What is important for all of you is that you accept that you are not perfect and maybe say to yourself "Ok, I can't for sure fix this, can I at least mold it to work in my favor?" as a lot of people fight themselves their whole life rather than just adapting to it...

Like someone who cusses a lot, just work in an environment where that is acceptable, and stop trying to change yourself into something you can never be.

I have a confession to make. I'm going to be honest and really I am trying to change. I work at it every day.

I think for the most part. I've been a t*oxic person my whole life due to my anger and my depression. I've been a hypocrite in the past, a habit I picked up from my mother. I've always been very anti-social with people. I am still very prejudice of religious people. I lack trust or give others a chance. Sometimes I find reasons to end friendships because either the person annoys me or that I've grown tired of them. I've even betrayed friends when I began to see them negatively. 

I wasn't the perfect husband. There were times when I antagonized my ex wife back when we were married. I called her names. I've raged at her. I even dumped her dog. I even beat her dog and it was animal cruelty. I was verbally and emotionally a*busive. I contributed to the failure of my marriage 10 years in advance & she never got over it. I honestly don't think I truly loved her or respected her. I think we should have divorced or broke up then. 

I've even lied to people when it suited me. 

Like the time I went to church to pick up women. I gave the pastor my word that I would follow the "no dating / relationships" with the members. I lied to him and I felt great about it. I was seeing this girl that I really liked. I wasn't going there because I believed in "god". I was going there because I was alone and had no body to talk to & because my mom wanted me to believe in a higher power which I am unable to do. This is the pastor that I ran into Wal-Mart and gave him the finger before I got kicked out of the church for sleeping with the female members. 

And I've broken the law in the past. I've stolen and performed vandalism with friends. 

Am I that way today? No. Not anymore. I have come a long long way. I have more self control. I've had to work on my morality and to battle my anger and find out why I felt the way I did in order to stop from doing it. 

All of this I admit. 

 

Edited by Hitchens
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On 12/4/2021 at 12:44 PM, Saphire Cotto said:

You changed a lot and have a lot to be proud of. It was brave of you to admit you're wrongdoings. No one is perfect but you are trying and that's what matters. 

My regrets, my sorrows, and the weight of my failures are what motivates me. It has given me the want & made me feel the need to improve and to be better and behave as a more moral human being.  

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39 minutes ago, Hitchens said:

My regrets, my sorrows, and the weight of my failures are what motivates me. It has given me the want & made me feel the need to improve and to be better and behave as a more moral human being. 

I felt that personally. It's so f***ing hard to be a moral being when people don't have or have any regard for how they impact others. 

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2 minutes ago, Saphire Cotto said:

I felt that personally. It's so f***ing hard to be a moral being when people don't have or have any regard for how they impact others. 

I have realized that not everyone gets a long. Some people bring the worst out in each other.

When that happens, it's best to move on. Which neither of us did. Instead we did things to each other in the relationship. I did things that I definitely shouldn't have done. Wish I hadn't done and still do regret having done. I know why did them. She cheated. And In anger, I took it out on her in ways that I shouldn't have. I should have just left. 

But it happened & it's done. looking back I think even if I hadn't done those things to her. I still think she would have kept cheating on me & taking advantage of me financially like she was doing anyway. My family has told me on many occasions that my relationship with her was a lose/lose situation. She was a chronic liar and cheater. 

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2 minutes ago, Hitchens said:

But it happened & it's done. looking back I think even if I hadn't done those things to her. I still think she would have kept cheating on me & taking advantage of me financially like she was doing anyway.

My ex was super tox*c and a cheater she was always ALWAYS going behind my back. Even when we were just friends she made it a point to get with my ex. She was so beautiful and unique she could get away with it with me and she knew it.  I lashed out on her it was shameful. We kept it up for year's. I still think about her she had my heart she was the axis my world spun on. She didn't feel the same and I knew deep inside she would never treat me right because she didn't want me. No matter how much I fought. It eats me up sometimes I was so wrong. 

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On 12/7/2021 at 5:25 PM, Saphire Cotto said:

My ex was super tox*c and a cheater she was always ALWAYS going behind my back. Even when we were just friends she made it a point to get with my ex. She was so beautiful and unique she could get away with it with me and she knew it.  I lashed out on her it was shameful. We kept it up for year's. I still think about her she had my heart she was the axis my world spun on. She didn't feel the same and I knew deep inside she would never treat me right because she didn't want me. No matter how much I fought. It eats me up sometimes I was so wrong. 

You have my condolences. Sometimes it just doesn't happen.

I think it's a rare thing to find someone who is both beautiful on the inside & outside. It's a hard thing to find. 

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4 hours ago, Hitchens said:

I think it's a rare thing to find someone who is both beautiful on the inside & outside. It's a hard thing to find. 

It’s true. I think is almost impossible honestly. I think desired people like in her case get things handed to them in life. That can turn someone u**y on the inside. 

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