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Family member that you can stand?


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Is there anyone in your family that you really can't stand?

I don't get along with my half brother. He's just an a sshole. He causes fights between me and my mother when ever he doesn't get his way. I can't talk to him without him starting some drama. I ended up blocking him on my cell phone last year because he lied to my mother and claimed that I said that my sister was a bad mother. That was the last straw. So I don't talk to him and I don't look at him. I told my mother and grandmother that he and I don't get along and that it's his fault. 

I know it takes two to tango. But in his case. He's the one starting all of the fights when I'm the one trying to be diplomatic and trying to get along with him. He doesn't want to get along. He wants to start stupid sh*t. 

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Do people who marry into the family count? Because I'd raise my hand. I wish they made a greeting card for tubal ligation. In fact, they both need som*thing done. That's all I'm saying. In depth, I have a very good reason for saying what I said, but I'm sure I'm probably intolerable to somebody. 

sorry not sorry eye roll GIF by Collider

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There are a couple people that are always gunning for me... one is an independent voter, the other is a very "right" conservative... so... things can get a bit uncomfortable at family gatherings.

donald trump news GIF

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Posted (edited)

I can't stand my older brother. He is a compulsive liar. He is always the v*ctim when som*thing goes wrong or som*thing bad happens that was caused by him. He takes no responsibility for his choices and actions. He is a cheater in his relationships. He steals. He has stolen from my parents. He has stolen from places he's worked. He will make up lies about needing money and say he'll pay you back but he never does (that's how he has basically stolen from me). He over spends and tries to live above his means and then expects help bailing him out. He's filed bankruptcy twice already because of this, lost his home, etc. He is a self-absorbed narcissistic a-hole. He does things with no thought or concern for how it affects those around him. He has no remorse and he has no conscience. He only feels sorry when he gets caught and then it's one excuse after another for how it's not his fault. 

I love him in the sense that he's my brother. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. I look at other families and g*rls who have brothers they are close with and I get jealous. I wish I could've had that. 😕 I wish I had an older protective brother that wanted to look out for me. Instead, I had one that hated the fact that I was ever born and did everything in his power to make my life mis*erable. Growing up he would beat me up and torment me, and he would bring his friend's into it too. If I tattled, then it would only get worse. I learned to just take it and keep my mouth shut. He also would embarrass me at school on purpose.

I could go on and on, so I'll just stop there. We're not close, never have been, and never will be. Even if he did a complete 180 and became a saint for the rest of his life, I want nothing to do with him. I've forgiven him because I needed peace within my own soul; I didn't want his tox*city taking up any space in my heart. But I will never be able to trust him. He's not a part of my life anymore, and he's barely a part of my parent's lives. But that's by his choice, not theirs. They're always there to help pick him back up again when he goes crying back home to mommy and daddy. Then uses them for a period of time and dumps them again when he's back on his feet again. It hurts me more for what he does to my parents than what he has done to me. They're good parents and they don't deserve the heartache he's caused. I honestly don't understand how or why he became the horrible person he is. We had the same life and upbringing, but you wouldn't know it the way he behaves. 

I can only hope that he changes for the better some day. I hope that he does, but it's not a hope for my benefit because he will never again have a place in my life. That bridge has been burned, bulldozed, and buried. I hope that he changes for the people in his life, present and future. 

Edited by OldGreqq
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My brothers, I cannot see them for however many months, and no matter what our bond is still as close as ever. We do have our steeps every now and then, but we work it out better than my sister and I ever could. Or my mom and I. 
I love my family equally, but if I had to be in a room with them to tolerate them, it would be my brothers for sure. They say the funniest s***t.

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I don’t talk to or see my cousins anymore, yet they want to be friends with me on social media and text me on my birthday. I stopped seeing them after my extended family split because of drama that happened between older family members when I was still a k*d. They refused to spend the holidays together after that, and my mom, myself and my sister spent the holidays with one side and my aunt & cousins spent them with the other. Two of them got married and my mom, sister, and I weren’t even invited to the wedding, so I don’t know why I still get texts from them. Even if it’s just a “happy birthday”. They also ask my grandma about us. The only reason I can think of is to be nosy.

On 7/8/2021 at 9:10 AM, Onision said:

There are a couple people that are always gunning for me... one is an independent voter, the other is a very "right" conservative... so... things can get a bit uncomfortable at family gatherings.

donald trump news GIF

I hate that. I also have family members that I don’t agree with politically. It’s awkward when politics are brought up at family gatherings. It’s probably best not to say anything because it can turn into an u**y argument quickly. I still wish I didn’t have to hear their s***tty opinions and conspiracy theories.

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My identical twin sister. 
 

I’m tired of a lot with her. The babying/complete coddling by our family. The fact that the sole blame for us “splitting the family” and no longer speaking is only on me. Her smear/projection campaign all over the internet/to our joint friends of how I’m her ab**er despite anything I’ve done being purely a reaction to ab**e from her. That she consistently tells me I ruin her life by existing, or that she wishes I were dead. The fact that when I do s*ck it up and join the same family gathering as her she makes a point to whisper som*thing hurtful to me then points to me looking upset and avoiding her as proof I’m the aggressor. 
 

the fact that she has everything I’ve ever wanted in life/could never dream of getting but ab**es and takes them for granted. Has house she trashes, dumps her dogs off on my parents and me infested with fleas and infections so she can go on vacation. Gets multiple new cars and totals them. Dates what used to be one of my best pals but ab**es them too. Doesn’t allow them to be friends with me anymore. 
 

That my family let her live rent free with them for 5 years while I was homeless. But require I pay rent to stay at all, or even visit. (I’m renting a room from them because the pandemic and catching COVID made it impossible to afford an apartment.) I don’t feel entitled to free rent at all I just think she should have been charged rent too because it’s the right thing to do to contribute to a household you take resources from. 
 

I don’t care anymore what my family thinks of me. I’m fine being the villain/at fault. I just want to get away and stay away from her. She makes me hate myself, I can’t even look at the mirror or photos of myself without seeing her face and feeling scared and sick.

 Maybe everyone in my family WOULD be happier if I just died. Idk. But I don’t want to keep feeling like that. I want to live and I want to be loved. And I’m focusing on that and to h**l with anything else. 

 

I’m especially angry because they sprung her spending the night on me last minute Thurs as an attempt to get us to “make up” and I had to be locked in my room/bathroom cleaning the infection out of her dog’s ears and De-ticking them while everyone else literally hugged in the living room and told her how important she was and how much they loved her. And then she got pissed cause the dogs wanted to be with me back there and not with her in the living room. And my parents were mad because I was “refusing to be mature” by avoiding being triggered by her and making a scene. 

live been struggling with S ideation since. 

It all just highlights how conditional the love in my family is. But then again I highly doubt there IS such a thing as unconditional love. 
 

sorry for downer post

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3 hours ago, Anna Chandler said:

My identical twin sister. 
 

I’m tired of a lot with her. The babying/complete coddling by our family. The fact that the sole blame for us “splitting the family” and no longer speaking is only on me. Her smear/projection campaign all over the internet/to our joint friends of how I’m her ab**er despite anything I’ve done being purely a reaction to ab**e from her. That she consistently tells me I ruin her life by existing, or that she wishes I were dead. The fact that when I do s*ck it up and join the same family gathering as her she makes a point to whisper som*thing hurtful to me then points to me looking upset and avoiding her as proof I’m the aggressor. 
 

the fact that she has everything I’ve ever wanted in life/could never dream of getting but ab**es and takes them for granted. Has house she trashes, dumps her dogs off on my parents and me infested with fleas and infections so she can go on vacation. Gets multiple new cars and totals them. Dates what used to be one of my best pals but ab**es them too. Doesn’t allow them to be friends with me anymore. 
 

That my family let her live rent free with them for 5 years while I was homeless. But require I pay rent to stay at all, or even visit. (I’m renting a room from them because the pandemic and catching COVID made it impossible to afford an apartment.) I don’t feel entitled to free rent at all I just think she should have been charged rent too because it’s the right thing to do to contribute to a household you take resources from. 
 

I don’t care anymore what my family thinks of me. I’m fine being the villain/at fault. I just want to get away and stay away from her. She makes me hate myself, I can’t even look at the mirror or photos of myself without seeing her face and feeling scared and sick.

 Maybe everyone in my family WOULD be happier if I just died. Idk. But I don’t want to keep feeling like that. I want to live and I want to be loved. And I’m focusing on that and to h**l with anything else. 

 

I’m especially angry because they sprung her spending the night on me last minute Thurs as an attempt to get us to “make up” and I had to be locked in my room/bathroom cleaning the infection out of her dog’s ears and De-ticking them while everyone else literally hugged in the living room and told her how important she was and how much they loved her. And then she got pissed cause the dogs wanted to be with me back there and not with her in the living room. And my parents were mad because I was “refusing to be mature” by avoiding being triggered by her and making a scene. 

live been struggling with S ideation since. 

It all just highlights how conditional the love in my family is. But then again I highly doubt there IS such a thing as unconditional love. 
 

sorry for downer post

Dude the important thing is that you are not your sister. You see her for who she truly is. And yeah, it s*cks that no one else does (at the moment), but your worth is not contingent on other people's false reality / perception.

You live for yourself. Not your family and not your friends, and most definitely not your sister. Don't give up. If stepping away from your family is what you have to do for your own mental health, then do it. Make that your new goal. Just to get the hèll out of there since it is a tox*c environment for you. You will probably be much happier when you do. 

 

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19 minutes ago, OldGreqq said:

Dude the important thing is that you are not your sister. You see her for who she truly is. And yeah, it s*cks that no one else does (at the moment), but your worth is not contingent on other people's false reality / perception.

You live for yourself. Not your family and not your friends, and most definitely not your sister. Don't give up. If stepping away from your family is what you have to do for your own mental health, then do it. Make that your new goal. Just to get the hèll out of there since it is a tox*c environment for you. You will probably be much happier when you do. 

 

Yeah. I’m working hard to get a place on my own. I’ll get there eventually. I do know intellectually I’m my own person…but..l.I wish I could change my face. Not to be dramatic but it’s kinda creepy looking in the mirror and seeing the face of someone else who really doesn’t like you/wishes you didn’t exist. We do look exactly alike. 😕 It just adds a layer of …idk how to say it ..distortion? 
 

probably wouldn’t make me so angry if I didn’t love her. But I do. It’s hard to not love your family even if they are pretty hurtful. 

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Posted (edited)
On 8/8/2021 at 12:48 PM, Elise said:

It’s hard to not love your family even if they are pretty hurtful. 

Not for me. My dad and his side of the family cut me completely out when I was 15. That doesn't bother me. Those people were strangers. I'm looking forward to washing my hands of my POS brother. After all the bullsh*it he's pulled, I'd set his house on fire with him and his wife in it if I could get away with it scot - free. I don't have a kind thought in my head about him. 

Edited by Terminated
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23 minutes ago, Terminated said:

Not for me. My dad and his side of the family cut me completely out when I was 15. That doesn't bother me. Those people were strangers. I'm looking forward to washing my hands of my POS brother. After all the bullsh*it he's pulled, I'd set his house on fire with him and his wife in it if I could get away with it scot - free. I don't have a kind thought in my head about him. 

Well the thing about hateful people is eventually they wind up burning their own houses down without anyone else lifting a finger

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2 minutes ago, Elise said:

Well the thing about hateful people is eventually they wind up burning their own houses down without anyone else lifting a finger

I really do wish I believed in karma. Because if it really did exist. He would have paid a long time ago. He's screwed me and his sister over more times than I can count.  He's put his hands on us. He's lied to get what he's wanted. Not just on his siblings, but towards other people as well. I really want him to pay for everything he's done. But that doesn't happen. He just keeps on reaping the rewards for his behavior. I'm waiting for the day to come when his "luck" runs out. 

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My dad… the day I was suicidal and at my absolute worst.. the first words out of his mouth were, did you get a job yet? Well I need you to stop throwing a pity party and call me back when you get a job. Click. 
 

not to mention he’s a bigot, ******, h*mophobic, right wing nut job… 😁😁

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2 hours ago, Skoobie123 said:

not to mention he’s a bigot, ******, h*mophobic, right wing nut job… 😁😁

I'm sorry how things are with your father. I wish he appreciated you more. I wish mine would have loved me more.

I think my relationship with my k***s is important. 

When everyone else is gone that I love. I hope they 'll be there for me one day. 

So I don't care as long as they're happy. 

Religion destroys relationships. Christianity  tears families apart. They teach people to be petty and weak.

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1 hour ago, Terminated said:

I'm sorry how things are with your father. I wish he appreciated you more. I wish mine would have loved me more.

I think my relationship with my k***s is important. 

When everyone else is gone that I love. I hope they 'll be there for me one day. 

So I don't care as long as they're happy. 

Religion destroys relationships. Christianity  tears families apart. They teach people to be petty and weak.

It’s not just religious people. Being r a c i s t has nothing to do with religion. I know r a c i s t people that aren’t religious and h*mophobes that aren’t. Like I know a man that hates g a y men, but has no problems with l e s b i a n s (sorry for the spaces, I’m just not sure if the words will get censored). He’s not religious at all and his reasons aren’t religious. That has nothing to fo with religion because if it did, they would be against both. He’s also r a c i s t. Anyway, yes you’re right about religion, but it’s not ONLY religious people.

4 hours ago, Terminated said:

I really do wish I believed in karma. Because if it really did exist. He would have paid a long time ago. He's screwed me and his sister over more times than I can count.  He's put his hands on us. He's lied to get what he's wanted. Not just on his siblings, but towards other people as well. I really want him to pay for everything he's done. But that doesn't happen. He just keeps on reaping the rewards for his behavior. I'm waiting for the day to come when his "luck" runs out. 

Consequences are real for everyone and karma doesn’t have to exist for that to happen. If you make bad choices, there will be consequences because that’s just logic. Including being an a***ole, because people aren’t going to put up with that s***t and you’ll end up losing people, etc.

Edited by summerlusk
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5 hours ago, Terminated said:

I really do wish I believed in karma. Because if it really did exist. He would have paid a long time ago. He's screwed me and his sister over more times than I can count.  He's put his hands on us. He's lied to get what he's wanted. Not just on his siblings, but towards other people as well. I really want him to pay for everything he's done. But that doesn't happen. He just keeps on reaping the rewards for his behavior. I'm waiting for the day to come when his "luck" runs out. 

I’m not talking about karma. I’m just talking about how when bad people escalate and alienate long enough they run out of resources. Takes forever but eventually the supply does run dry. There’s a finite amounts of everything. 

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10 hours ago, Elise said:

I’m not talking about karma. I’m just talking about how when bad people escalate and alienate long enough they run out of resources. Takes forever but eventually the supply does run dry. There’s a finite amounts of everything. 

Good point. He used to try to talk to me. But I would ignore him and just keep walking. He's realized now that I don't want to talk to him. That relationship is dead. I'd even have trust issues with him if he apologized. It would take him a long time to prove that he's sincere. I don't think I have that kind of patience for him. 

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