Jump to content

What's some thing you've refused to do while in a relationship?


Recommended Posts


7 minutes ago, brittniisundae said:

I refused to give myself to someone else for a specific period of time because my ex wanted som*thing for free. 

My aunt's brother did that with his wife. I don't think she was like that before she got with Mark. But he had fetishes. So they would go  out and sleep with other couples and he'd film her sleeping with other men. A particular man had more money then him. So she left him for that man. You could say that blew up in his face. 

Edited by Terminated
  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, t*rminated said:

My aunt's brother did that with his wife. They used to go out and sleep with other couples and he'd film her sleeping with other film. A particular man had more money then him. So she left him for that man. You could say that blew up in his face. 

Oh wow! I just couldn't do som*thing like that 😕 my ex was addicted so when it came down to no money or anything to give this person.. That dude pointed at me. It was enough that my ex insisted on me following them to that place. But I found out the reason. That dude at the time was secretly taking pictures of me & saved me for his phone wallpaper 😳 my ex was using me for a desperate moment. And this is another reason why I cant be with anyone who is addicted, like I feel bad for them, but I can't do that type of relationship ever again. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 minute ago, brittniisundae said:

Oh wow! I just couldn't do som*thing like that 😕 my ex was addicted so when it came down to no money or anything to give this person.. That dude pointed at me. It was enough that my ex insisted on me following them to that place. But I found out the reason. That dude at the time was secretly taking pictures of me & saved me for his phone wallpaper 😳 my ex was using me for a desperate moment. And this is another reason why I cant be with anyone who is addicted, like I feel bad for them, but I can't do that type of relationship ever again. 

I don't blame you. I'm glad you got out of it. I'm thinking that wasn't the only time you were put in situation like that. It seems in tox*c relationships like that. Those problems are re-occuring. I'm not saying he tried setting you up with other men all of the time. I'm just thinking he must have been doing other things that were just as bad as well that contributed to the break up. 

  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

I don't blame you. I'm glad you got out of it. I'm thinking that wasn't the only time you were put in situation like that. It seems in tox*c relationships like that. Those problems are re-occuring. I'm not saying he tried setting you up with other men all of the time. I'm just thinking he must have been doing other things that were just as bad as well that contributed to the break up. 

Yes, you are correct. There's quite a few t*****e times that I've only shared with maybe 1 or 2 other people. Then I sort of broke... I snuck off, waited for a ride, and broke up over the phone. Basically hid myself away..I had to take time away and correct myself. "This wouldn't have been love if I did do this"  "I couldn't save this person" "I shouldn't have to be in these situations". Then I went back on a therapy kick. (My therapy sessions are ever lasting it seems) thank you 😊

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

10 minutes ago, brittniisundae said:

Yes, you are correct. There's quite a few t*****e times that I've only shared with maybe 1 or 2 other people. Then I sort of broke... I snuck off, waited for a ride, and broke up over the phone. Basically hid myself away..I had to take time away and correct myself. "This wouldn't have been love if I did do this"  "I couldn't save this person" "I shouldn't have to be in these situations". Then I went back on a therapy kick. (My therapy sessions are ever lasting it seems) thank you 😊

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same. Distance works really well in a break up. Especially when you don't want them touching you or trying to force you to stay in a t oxic relationship. I had to lie my way out of one. I had an ex girlfriend that hated my k***s. She was staying with me. Had a suit case. I tried breaking up with her over it. She refused to leave. She was using me for every penny I had. She was disrespectful. She lied about her criminal record.

She was t errible. I had to fight fire with fire. So I stooped to her level and lied like an a sshole so I could get rid of her. It s*cked that I had to do her that way. But being honest with her was getting me no where. She would not listen. She had it made up in her mind that we were going to have this happy and wonderful relationship and it s*cked. It was tox*c. She was a b*tch and I was done. She was a delusional little sociopath. 

So I lied and said that I lost my job and lost the apartment and had to move in with my parents. I even lied about having a long distance relationship with her. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. I drove her 3 hours to her moms house and dropped her off. Then I again. Broke up with her over the phone. 

She begged me for weeks to take her back. She was relentless. I just kept saying no and then she got rude. Then I got rude. Then she lied and said she was pregnant. Then told the truth and said she lied about it because she wanted me back. Then she got ahold of every family member I had on Facebook and told them that she was a good person and that she lied and said she was pregnant. Then when none of that worked. She got p*ssed and called DFS on me and accused me of being a c***d beater. The case went no where because she lied. I did a statement with the police and filed h***ssments against her. Of course it didn't work. But after that. She didn't contact me for a while. 

Edited by Terminated
  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

I think you did the right thing. I would have done the same. Distance works really well in a break up. Especially when you don't want them touching you or trying to force you to stay in a t oxic relationship. I had to lie my way out of one. I had an ex girlfriend that hated my k***s. She was staying with me. Had a suit case. I tried breaking up with her over it. She refused to leave. She was using me for every penny I had. She was disrespectful. She lied about her criminal record.

She was t errible. I had to fight fire with fire. So I stooped to her level and lied like an a sshole so I could get rid of her. It s*cked that I had to do her that way. But being honest with her was getting me no where. She would not listen. She had it made up in her mind that we were going to have this happy and wonderful relationship and it s*cked. It was tox*c. She was a b*tch and I was done. She was a delusional little sociopath. 

So I lied and said that I lost my job and lost the apartment and had to move in with my parents. I even lied about having a long distance relationship with her. She bought it hook, line, and sinker. I drove her 3 hours to her moms house and dropped her off. Then I again. Broke up with her over the phone. 

She begged me for weeks to take her back. She was relentless. I just kept saying no and then she got rude. Then I got rude. Then she lied and said she was pregnant. Then told the truth and said she lied about it because she wanted me back. Then she got ahold of every family member I had on Facebook and told them that she was a good person and that she lied and said she was pregnant. Then when none of that worked. She got p*ssed and called DFS on me and accused me of being a c***d beater. The case went no where because she lied. I did a statement with the police and filed h***ssments against her. Of course it didn't work. But after that. She didn't contact me for a while. 

Oh my goodness 🥺 that's so much. I am so sorry. I feel like it's that moment of "anything I have to do to get away" this reminds me of what someone who is very close to me is going through. I talked to them so many times, they've seen the evidence, all the debt, lies, ab**ive behavior. But having k***s involved is never easy. I just keep telling them do what is best for the k***s. Think of them, think of yourself. But no. 🤦‍♀️ it's so ongoing. Like I'm not disrespecting women, because I've been with males and females, and everyone is different. I've found so much goodness in the variety of people I've spent time with. But sometimes it feels like women have this thing...like a "I'm not done yet" card up their sleeve. But also I feel like men aren't taken seriously enough, or quite a lot won't speak up or do anything because of that fear of not being taken seriously or having to live up to "being a man". Do correct me if I'm wrong though. I just feel like that's what my close one is experiencing. 💔 I'm really sorry, I'm just happy you're in a better place.

  • Heart 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/23/2021 at 3:29 PM, brittniisundae said:

Oh my goodness 🥺 that's so much. I am so sorry. 

That's okay. I think you went through som*thing far worse. I don't think my experience can compare. 

On 6/23/2021 at 3:29 PM, brittniisundae said:

 I feel like it's that moment of "anything I have to do to get away" this reminds me of what someone who is very close to me is going through. I talked to them so many times, they've seen the evidence, all the debt, lies, ab**ive behavior. But having k***s involved is never easy. I just keep telling them do what is best for the k***s. Think of them, think of yourself. But no. 🤦‍♀️ it's so ongoing. Like I'm not disrespecting women, because I've been with males and females, and everyone is different. I've found so much goodness in the variety of people I've spent time with. But sometimes it feels like women have this thing...like a "I'm not done yet" card up their sleeve. But also I feel like men aren't taken seriously enough, or quite a lot won't speak up or do anything because of that fear of not being taken seriously or having to live up to "being a man". Do correct me if I'm wrong though. I just feel like that's what my close one is experiencing. 

I'm sorry that your friend is going through this currently. I think they'll end it when it's time. Their relationship, their rules. Me and you are just observational witnesses to a sh*tty relationship. 

I guess I just couldn't tolerate it anymore. Like my tolerance level is different after my divorce. I took so much crap from my ex wife and her family that my patience and tolerance on bullsh*t has just been nonexistent. I'm tolerant to a point.

My ex girlfriend just kept on and on and on and on. She just didn't get it. I even sat down with her on 4 different occasions and warned her that she was running me off with her behavior. She had no reason to be jealous of a 10 year old little girl (my daughter is 11 now). A lot of the relationships issued from her mental problems. They were very very steep. 

Her parents were getting divorced. Her father was a serial cheater and a ****. She'd been sleeping with him since she was 15 years old and this continued until she was almost 26. Her mom was getting a divorce over that. And I think that's what caused her to have some severe mental problems. She wanted me to give up my k ids and that was the deal breaker. But she also wanted to have k ids but she didn't know how to take care of a baby. I told her what it would be like with a c***d and how time consuming it was. Talking about having c hildren with her also made me feel emotionally and mentally distant from her. There was all this crap that she'd bring up that would push me further away. Then there was her irritability. I'd come home and when she was in a bad mood. It's like you could cut the tension with a knife. It was bad. And that was a major factor in me wanting to get rid of her. I felt like there was just som*thing severely bad waiting to happen. So I got scared for my k ids. She was not a person I wanted them around. 

 After awhile. I stood back and realized. She has the mind of a 16 year old girl. She was immature. She didn't want to get a job and help with finances. Just want, want, want is she did. Buy me this and buy me that. I was sick of it. I just felt used. Then I decided. It's time for her to hit the road. 

  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I refuse to share finances in a relationship. Sometimes I think it's hindering me relationship wise, but I have to do what's best for me.

My divorce financially ruined me because I was young and dumb and didn't consult a lawyer. My ex hubby and I owned 2 homes at the time we split. I knew I couldn't afford them or take care of them so I told him he could have them because he wanted them. He brought me paperwork that was a "quit claim deed." It was me signing over my rights to the homes. At the time, I thought that made me free of the burden, but boy was I wrong. All that did was take away any claim to the home I might have, but that did not take my name off the mortgages or remove my financial liability. 😒

When he stopped paying ON BOTH homes, the creditors started coming after me too. I was dumbfounded and then of course really angry. You can't get your name off a mortgage unless the other person refinances, and if the person doesn't have the credit to refinance, then you're stuck. I guess I could have forced him into court and try to force him to sell, but I was advised against that too since I had signed the quit claim deed and had no more rights to the home even if my name was still on the mortgage. I really screwed myself there when I thought I was being generous. I was divorced in 2004. One home he finally got rid of by short sale in 2012 or 13. The second home he allowed to go into foreclosure and that was in 2015. Eleven years of ruined credit. I'm talking like a 500 credit score. I couldn't purchase anything large for myself because I couldn't get approved for a loan. Anything I needed, like say a vehicle, I had to save and pay cash for. Needless to say, I had a string of crappy cars because the most I could afford to spend at a time was a couple grand. I worked for years to build my credit again. It fluctuates between the high 700's to low 800's right now. Yay me! 😝

Later down the road, my ex fiancé tried to get me to purchase a home with him. I refused because of my past (and at the time ongoing) experience. He purchased a home on his own, and I paid him rent/utilities. I'm glad I refused too because we didn't end up working out. We had combined finances for awhile in the beginning of our relationship, but he was not financially responsible imo, so I ended up splitting off our bank accounts and making our money separate. Combined we made a lot of money together, but we were still always broke because he wanted to spend all the money on toys (motorcycles, stuff for his motorcycles, and other nonsense). Having that stuff and hobbies is fine, but if I want to save and you spend it all, then there's a problem. I felt like I was watching him spend all my money away. It probably didn't help our relationship doing that, but it ended the fights about what he was spending money on.

So yeah, I'm weird when it comes to money. I'm don't care about having a lot, but what's mine is mine. I'm not going to share, or at least past a certain point. I refuse to move in with significant other's anymore. I was always the one that had to leave when we split because I couldn't afford where ever we lived on my own. I am tired of moving and splitting belongings, so I prefer to live alone. You better marry me if you want to live with me, lol.

Because of all that, I refuse to put myself into a situation where I can't afford som*thing financially on my own anymore if my name is going to be on a loan.

  • Heart 1
  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/23/2021 at 2:21 PM, brittniisundae said:

yearsinmusic GIF

1. I refused to give myself to someone else for a specific period of time because my ex wanted som*thing for free. 

😂 yeah that was a no.

 

What's one or some of yours?

 

Wait… why would anyone do that? That is against the law and horrible.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

20 hours ago, OldGreqq said:

I refuse to share finances in a relationship. Sometimes I think it's hindering me relationship wise, but I have to do what's best for me.

My divorce financially ruined me because I was young and dumb and didn't consult a lawyer.

I understand. My ex wife financially took every penny I ever had for the whole 11 years. She'd have my paychecks spent in a day. She'd spend all of our tax refunds and she'd lie about paying on some of my medical bills that desperately needed paid off. My medical bills were over 3,300 dollars. She never paid a cent of my money on them. She caused me to be late on some of car payments. She'd give money to her sister who I hated and I still h ate her to this day. My ex sister in law recently false reported me to DFS. The case closed quickly. My ex wife ran up credit cards in my name. She completely sh*t all over my credit score. Since 2021. I've paid off all of my debts. I paid for the divorce and the lawyer. I've paid for the custody battle. I've paid for everything. She doesn't help with the k***s. All she's done is get into m eth. 

Edited by Terminated
Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, t*rminated said:

I understand. My ex wife financially took every penny I ever had for the whole 11 years. She'd have my paychecks spent in a day. She'd spend all of our tax refunds and she'd lie about paying on some of my medical bills that desperately needed paid off. My medical bills were over 3,300 dollars. She never paid a cent of my money on them. She caused me to be late on some of car payments. She'd give money to her sister who I hated and I still h ate her to this day. My ex sister in law recently false reported me to DFS. The case closed quickly. My ex wife ran up credit cards in my name. She completely sh*t all over my credit score. Since 2021. I've paid off all of my debts. I paid for the divorce and the lawyer. I've paid for the custody battle. I've paid for everything. She doesn't help with the k***s. All she's done is get into m eth. 

Yeah, your ex sounds like a real piece of work. I'm sorry you still have to deal with her at all, but I know you will have to because you have k***s together. Hopefully she can get her act together for the sake of the k***s. 

  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Elites

I refused to let their obscure view of the world change my heart. 
But I learned a lot of what I won’t do for someone in the future. I refuse to prove myself to anyone, you’ll see it.. or not. Not my problem tho.

  • Star 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 6/28/2021 at 8:51 PM, OldGreqq said:

Yeah, your ex sounds like a real piece of work. I'm sorry you still have to deal with her at all, but I know you will have to because you have k***s together. Hopefully she can get her act together for the sake of the k***s. 

I doubt it. She's been doing m eth for a year and a half. She's not all there anymore. My ex mother in law said that she's not the same at all. She's a shell of who she used to be. They've tried to get her in rehab multiple times. Sometimes she'll go and then be out in a day or two back on the d rugs. 

According to c***d Services, they found out that she's living in a run down hotel 2 hours away with a convict who also is a *** offender. So she's looking at having her rights revoked. The k ids seem to have given up on her. It's sad. But there's nothing I can do to make her be a mother to them or straighten up and pull it together. 

She didn't seem to be herself at all after Hurricane Michael and when we had to move back to Missouri. I often wonder if it traumatized her. Som*thing made her snap. She used to be all about the k ids and always griping about my parenting skills and treating me like I was a sh*t father. 

She went from all that to sleeping around and doing m eth. I have no idea how someone can just up and change like that instantly. It makes no sense. But well, she did it. So It's a thing. 

  • Star 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...