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What have I done!?


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Probably when I got out of the military. I was engaged to a guy I had met in the military. He got out a year into our relationship. Fast forward 5 years (but 6 years together), we're now engaged and he's pressuring me to get out when my next contract was up. He was tired of my deployments and stuff, which is hard on a relationship. I didn't really want to get out, but I didn't want to lose him either, so I did. I got out when my contract was up...He left me 3 months later. Ruined me for awhile. I beat myself up a lot after that.

Now when I'm in a relationship, people think I'm selfish because I never think of big decisions about my own life as an "us" thing. I don't include them. *Shrug* What can you do though? After being majorly burned like that, I can't trust anyone with decisions that will affect my life even if we don't work out. I have to think of what's best for me, if that makes any sense.

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8 minutes ago, PoptartBarbie said:

@OldGreqq dude that was awesome to read, not that you got burnt but it's amazing that you're now viewing you're relationship a s a more you thing.i think that's the best way to think.

Yeah, I mean life s*cks, but it definitely was a learning experience. 

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4 hours ago, OldGreqq said:

Probably when I got out of the military. I was engaged to a guy I had met in the military. He got out a year into our relationship. Fast forward 5 years (but 6 years together), we're now engaged and he's pressuring me to get out when my next contract was up. He was tired of my deployments and stuff, which is hard on a relationship. I didn't really want to get out, but I didn't want to lose him either, so I did. I got out when my contract was up...He left me 3 months later. Ruined me for awhile. I beat myself up a lot after that.

Now when I'm in a relationship, people think I'm selfish because I never think of big decisions about my own life as an "us" thing. I don't include them. *Shrug* What can you do though? After being majorly burned like that, I can't trust anyone with decisions that will affect my life even if we don't work out. I have to think of what's best for me, if that makes any sense.

Why not just rejoin?

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3 hours ago, Onision said:

Why not just rejoin?

Because it's not so simple to just rejoin. You can't just walk in and sign back up. There are a lot of factors to rejoining. There are a limited number of "slots" for joining, separate from new enlistments, and the first one's go to people still on active duty and looking to re-enlist or re-up their contract. Only then are people who want to rejoin looked at. At the time I left, and for a couple years afterward, all the military branches were downsizing. They weren't approving re-enlistments for people still on active duty and were forcing people out, or were forcing people to change rates (jobs or MOS's). The chances were very slim that I would get back in at all and even slimmer to get to keep my same rate.

Age was a factor also. I was right at the age limit. I investigated rejoining and basically got laughed out of the recruiting office. No recruiter wants to invest all this time into helping someone rejoin who may get denied because they might not have enough slots open, and I had a very small window before I would be considered too old. The average time it takes someone to rejoin is over a year. It also takes more paperwork for someone to rejoin than it does for a new enlistment. Recruiters don't get "credit" for rejoiners like they do new enlistments, so you have to find someone willing to put in all the leg work for no credit. That is next to impossible.

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