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Do you want to be a parent?


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Posted (edited)
20 hours ago, Allycat said:

I have 2 possibly want more if I meet the right person and we get married 

I have 2 as well. But I'm unsure about having more or getting married again. If I get with the wrong person like I did my ex wife. They can a buse their marital rights just to aggravate me and take what's really not theirs. I think marital rights need to be revised. 

Edited by Terminated
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53 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

I have 2 as well. But I'm unsure about having more or getting married again. If I get with the wrong person like I did my ex wife. They can a buse their marital rights just to aggravate me and take what's really not theirs. I think marital rights need to be revised. 

Agreed

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I kept this a secret from a lot of people. This is a heavy topic for me, because I lost my chance. I talk about it in therapy sometimes. I have a double uterus so the chance for me ran a bit high for loss. 

It was not planned, and I would have been judged immediately. But I did everything healthy from the start. Then it just happened... it was one of the saddest, horrific, moments of my life.

I didn't want to be a parent, but then i did. I honestly don't have plans to be one now. I'm happy to be an aunt though. 🦋

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Posted (edited)
31 minutes ago, Allycat said:

Agreed

I think when it comes to having k***s. You really have to make sure it's someone who you can tolerate as well as their family before you have them with them via accident or whatever. Most families don't get involved in your relationship / marriage unless you have k***s.

My grandpa told me this when I was 15. That you can't just marry the girl and exclude her family. They get involved whether you like it or not. I took his advise lightly at the time. But after I got married and had k***s. I was feuding with her sister who associated herself with d ruggies and m eth gang members. I did not like her. She did not like me. She'd come over to the house and start crap. I'd call her a b*tch to her face and kick her out. Then she started sending her guy friends over and they'd pick fights with me. My ex wife was anti 2nd amendment so there were firearms to protect myself or my k ids. Her mother and sister boycotted the wedding and they had been against it. So they were causing the most problems. The rest of her family just voiced that they did not like me. 

And what was wrong with me? I felt I had a great job. I owned some cars. I was a clean person. I kept my place cleaned up. I had no criminal record. I supported her when she wasn't working. I made sure she had everything she needed. I carried that whole relationship financially. So I was like "what in the f*ck is wrong with you guys!?"

and then my family would defend me. So it's like the marriage s*cked in that way because our families were into it and most of the time mine refused to associate with her family because they were a difficult lot. 

So that went on for the whole 11 years. I should have just taken what my ex wife's mother suggested and went ahead and got a divorce. They were all gunning for it anyway. And funny. After my divorce they were wishing we hadn't because she went out and started seeing d rug addicts and m eth users. 

Maybe it's different for people who don't have families or cut off from their family. But if the family already doesn't like you and you're already somewhat butting heads. Guess what? It just got worse. I thought things were bad with my ex wife's family when my daughter was born. Nope. It just went up about 100 notches. Lucky for me the divorce ran them off and fixed those problems. My thing is. Now I can see why some guys back out if the parents are over bearing or are too invasive. No one wants to put up with that down the road. 

19 minutes ago, brittniisundae said:

I kept this a secret from a lot of people. This is a heavy topic for me, because I lost my chance. I talk about it in therapy sometimes. I have a double uterus so the chance for me ran a bit high for loss. 

It was not planned, and I would have been judged immediately. But I did everything healthy from the start. Then it just happened... it was one of the saddest, horrific, moments of my life.

I didn't want to be a parent, but then i did. I honestly don't have plans to be one now. I'm happy to be an aunt though. 🦋

I'm very sorry. There's people out there who are parents that take it for granted when someone like you deserves it more and would make a great parent. 

Edited by Terminated
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Yezzzz.

I am a bit worried right now but it is definitely one of the things that keeps me thinking about future.

I wish I could live a long and happy life. I would comfort myself with just experience happiness at least for a few years .

Falling in love, growing up older. 

 

You never think about those things until you ran out of time. Or your biological clock just hits you.

Btw I want to.

 

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I have one son already. He's pretty much grown already, just started college this year. I would like to have more k***s, but I don't see that happening. I'm single and my biological clock is ticking away. I'm not one to rush into anything anymore, learned that lesson the hard way. I don't see myself being in a relationship that would warrant having c******n any time soon, so I've pretty much accepted that having more k***s is not going to happen for me. That's one advantage guys have over g*rls; they're not limited by time. 

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On 6/27/2021 at 4:42 AM, PoptartBarbie said:

I always thought mine would be an accident.  Like I thought it'd just happen because I've never been super careful.

My 2 weren't planned. My mother is convinced that my ex wife lied to me and said she couldn't have k***s. But early in our relationship she had stated many times how she wanted to have a c***d with me. 

I did not want to have k***s. I understood then that it was extremely difficult. I understood that having a c***d is som*thing you have to take care of and raise for the next 20 years or more. It was not a step I was ready to take. 

On 6/27/2021 at 4:42 AM, PoptartBarbie said:

I always wanted just one if I have one. But with someone I love. And I want them to at least propose to be honest but I'm a romantic and that's just som*thing I want. 

Apparently I never listened to my grandfather when he gave me advise and all the things he said came true. He said a woman's perspective changes massively when she has a c hild. Her standards for her partner changes. He also stated that when you marry a woman. You marry her family too.

After my divorce, I'm very strict about keeping families in the relationship at arm's length. I don't go to my family and b*tch and whine about what my girlfriend does. I don't want my family getting involved. because when you talk sh*t about your significant other to your family, you're villainizing them. You make your family not want you to have anything to do with them. You cause more problems by doing it. Because then there's a probability that your family tries to get involved and force a break up later down the road. It poisons and d*mns your relationship. 

When she did get pregnant. The entire relationship went to sh*t. I did want to leave because she pushed me away and villainized me. Her family hated me more than usual and she successfully got my entire family aggravated with me. All she did when she was pregnant was talk sh*t and drag my name through the mud. I honestly thought she was going to move in with her mom and I'd have to file for divorce. 

Looking back. We should have filed then.

After my daughter was born. She left me 4 different times because we couldn't get along. I faced criticism as a father from her side of the family. It was a complete sh*t storm. Even after my daughter was born. my in-laws treated me worse. Having a k id with her didn't make things better.

Then her family was even more aggravated when she got pregnant with my son. They did not want her to stay married to me. They didn't want us having more k ids. Her mother and sister stated on many occasions on how they wanted us to separate and get divorced. 

I'd say she left and came back to me a total of 9 times before we divorced. After which. She gave the k ids and left. They rarely ever see her. 

On 6/27/2021 at 4:42 AM, PoptartBarbie said:

So no i don't have one. And maybe with someone I love.

 

If you want c******n. Do it right. Find someone you get along with. Find someone who spends all of their time with you. 

If you're already in a tox*c relationship. Having a c***d in an already sh*t relationship won't make it better. It makes it worse. It'll just make the divide that's already there bigger. Sure. I am one experience. But I'm a single father and it's not easy financially. You really want someone whose going to help split the costs and help you. 

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NONONONONONONOO. GOD NO THIS  IS MY ABSOLUTE WORST FEAR. MY MOM WAS HORRIBLE. SHE NEVER FED ME ENOUGH. SHE NEVER SUPPLIED ME WITH ANYTHING. I AM AFRAID OF PARENTHOOD DUE TO THE REASON THAT IS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME LIKE MY MOTHER. I FEAR PARENTHOD. THANK YOU.

Ufc 205 Thank You GIF by UFC

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On 6/28/2021 at 12:04 PM, bybas ladas said:

NONONONONONONOO. GOD NO THIS  IS MY ABSOLUTE WORST FEAR. MY MOM WAS HORRIBLE. SHE NEVER FED ME ENOUGH. SHE NEVER SUPPLIED ME WITH ANYTHING. I AM AFRAID OF PARENTHOOD DUE TO THE REASON THAT IS THAT I DO NOT WANT TO BECOME LIKE MY MOTHER. I FEAR PARENTHOD. THANK YOU.

Ufc 205 Thank You GIF by UFC

Just… don’t do the same thing right? Like you were taught what not to do so now you know.

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