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Red flag on first date?


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Ooo yeah. Do not blame you at all. I feel like that word is way overused and basically it's like saying "You're cool" now. Placebo quality. 

Maybe I'll start making my own word up 🤔 people I actually "love" will get it. They may be confused, but they'll receive it.

I don't know. It flags me when someone is constantly paying attention to their phone. "Are you swiping right? Left? Are you playing Pokémon go?" 

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1 hour ago, brittniisundae said:

Ooo yeah. Do not blame you at all. I feel like that word is way overused and basically it's like saying "You're cool" now. Placebo quality. 

Maybe I'll start making my own word up 🤔 people I actually "love" will get it. They may be confused, but they'll receive it.

I don't know. It flags me when someone is constantly paying attention to their phone. "Are you swiping right? Left? Are you playing Pokémon go?" 

Guys have ignored you with their phone on the first date? 

Damn girl. Some people are just unappreciative. 

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32 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

Guys have ignored you with their phone on the first date? 

Damn girl. Some people are just unappreciative. 

😂 I don't know maybe they didn't like my topics. Maybe they didn't like my choice of clothing. Paid for their meal. At least tell me what your favorite color is. I rejected their offer to go home with them. So I can only assume it was that kind of date. So in the end I won the swipe, or whatever right left thing.

Fresh Prince Reaction GIF by MOODMAN 

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Anyone that's way too obvious that their goal is to sleep with me. How about putting in the effort to at least get to know me first?

Anyone who spends way too much time on their phone. If they can't pay attention now, how much will they pay attention when they're comfortable in the relationship and first impressions don't matter?

People who treat the waiter/waitress rudely. Or just other people in general. How they treat others could be a reflection of how they will treat me when they're no longer trying to impress me.

And now because of my last bf, anyone who has no job and still lives with their parents. Never again. 

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1 hour ago, brittniisundae said:

😂 I don't know maybe they didn't like my topics. Maybe they didn't like my choice of clothing. Paid for their meal. At least tell me what your favorite color is. I rejected their offer to go home with them. So I can only assume it was that kind of date. So in the end I won the swipe, or whatever right left thing.

 

I'm somewhat of a gentleman. I don't mind having s ex on the first date.

But here's the deal. I was brought up by my mother and she taught me to never let the woman pay for the first several dates. She said it was rude and disrespectful. 

So. The one thing I'm prideful on is that I never made my girlfriend pay a single dime on a date for a long time. 

I eventually let her buy me dinner. But that was when I'm good and ready.

From my perspective. You're not a man if you're letting the lady pay for the first date. 

 

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2 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

I'm somewhat of a gentleman. I don't mind having s ex on the first date.

But here's the deal. I was brought up by my mother and she taught me to never let the woman pay for the first several dates. She said it was rude and disrespectful. 

So. The one thing I'm prideful on is that I never made my girlfriend pay a single dime on a date for a long time. 

I eventually let her buy me dinner. But that was when I'm good and ready.

From my perspective. You're not a man if you're letting the lady pay for the first date. 

 

I can understand that. I was told that too, but I like to treat people to things. If they insist I let them or I'm stubborn (yes I can be, I'll admit..😂) with at least splitting. 

I struggled with my best friend for a long time over the "I'll pay this time, you pay next time" stuff. Like if she and I were a couple I feel like it would be awesome. We test each other. 

I know that the things I do can seem a bit different...especially where I'm from, and with all the experiences. But I do mean well. I'm sure a lot of people would have left him with the full check.

See, that's the thing. I didn't even have the chance to know much at all about him. So I definitely wouldn't go to his place. Just connecting with a person makes a difference to me. 

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12 hours ago, Lilliako said:

someone who talks too much about themselves and doesn't ask enough about you.

I'm pretty nervous to talk about myself. When I first got with my girlfriend 7 months ago. We were both pretty quiet around each other. We talked about random things here and there before it became easier to open up more. I mostly let her do the talking. I wanted to know her religious views. Turns out, her family and her are pretty much non religious. Her being an Atheist has really helped more than anything because my ex wife was Christian and that really became one of many problems down the road. That's great. Her political views however were a little different from mine. She does believe in the 2nd Amendment. That was good. So I overall I learned what topics we could positively discuss and what topics I needed to leave alone. But surprisingly. We agree on many many things. So I'm relieved. Then I wanted to know more about her views on other things. It was also  so I wouldn't say som*thing stupid and blow it. My ex wife and I had nothing in common and we didn't get along. 

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I notice hygiene, manners, employment and if they gossip. A red flag would be someone talking over me or stiffing the server/bartender on a tip. It's also awkward fot me when I'm out with someone who insists on intruding on stranger's conversations, even if it's to joke around. The dates I prefer are walks around the city, so I notice if they litter-- absolute turn off. 

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12 hours ago, brittniisundae said:

I can understand that. I was told that too, but I like to treat people to things. If they insist I let them or I'm stubborn (yes I can be, I'll admit..😂) with at least splitting. 

I struggled with my best friend for a long time over the "I'll pay this time, you pay next time" stuff. Like if she and I were a couple I feel like it would be awesome. We test each other. . 

lol nice. She did talk me into that and we did split a few times. She was very adamant about it and was getting a little upset that I wasn't making her pay on anything. So I was like "Oh what the h**l. Go ahead." and I let her pay for her food and I paid for mine on one or two dates. 

 

12 hours ago, brittniisundae said:

I know that the things I do can seem a bit different...especially where I'm from, and with all the experiences. But I do mean well. I'm sure a lot of people would have left him with the full check.

Like different how?

When I was using Tinder and going on all of these dates. I always paid and then I'd never see some of these g*rls again. So I was starting to get frustrated because I felt like some of those g*rls used me to get a free meal. Some of them were interesting and I guess I they lost interest or found to be boring. But some of those g*rls I wasn't up for another date either. That's all just part of the territory looking for that ONE person that can make you happy. You may have to go on 15 dates before you hit it off. 

13 hours ago, brittniisundae said:

See, that's the thing. I didn't even have the chance to know much at all about him. So I definitely wouldn't go to his place. Just connecting with a person makes a difference to me. 

Me too. If I don't feel connected to the person I'm seeing. I'm probably going to be less motivated to keep trying. One girl I just slowly quit texting or calling because she made it like she was hardly ever available. She always answered my calls and texts. But I felt like we were going no where. We weren't s exually active with each other. That wasn't the issue. She just came off really dark and seemed like she had some issues that were at play. She wasn't forthcoming with me or open on a lot of things. She didn't give me the assurance that I could trust her. So it wasn't encouraging. So I have no regrets there. I did see her a few weeks after we quit talking and she was with another guy. It makes me wonder if that had som*thing to do with her behavior when she was seeing me. I know some women will date or go out with more than one guy before they make a decision to commit to a relationship or some kind of a relationship. 

39 minutes ago, Kilo said:

I notice hygiene, manners, employment and if they gossip. 

Yes! hygiene is a big deal for me too. I saw this girl for 2 days and I don't think she knew what a stick of deodorant was. She was a cleaning girl at a hotel. She was barely getting paid. There was also the issue that she had 2 k***s and apparently what drove me away was that she mentioned that there was an active and on going case with DFS. She seemed like there was som*thing going on with her. So I quit talking to her. I didn't really want her to become my problem because it seemed she was looking for a way out and I didn't want her moving in with me or me having to suddenly support a 3 more people. I just felt like I avoided getting taken advantage of. 

45 minutes ago, Kilo said:

A red flag would be someone talking over me or stiffing the server/bartender on a tip.

My girlfriend is big on tipping. That's important to her as well. I'm not the best at math. But I think it's like 15 percent.  So on the debit card receipt I let Madi write in the tip amount for me. If there's an option on the machine. I'll just press it. 

49 minutes ago, Kilo said:

It's also awkward for me when I'm out with someone who insists on intruding on stranger's conversations, even if it's to joke around. 

I've never had that happen before. When I'm on a date. We always keep to ourselves. Unless it's someone we know from work or run into a friend then okay. That's fine. 

50 minutes ago, Kilo said:

The dates I prefer are walks around the city, so I notice if they litter-- absolute turn off. 

Same. Either toss it or burn it. One thing I don't believe in is recycling. A lot of countries dump stuff that was advertised to be recycled in the seas and oceans. China lies about it. So does India. My brother in law lived out in the country and he and his wife always burned their trash. The cans you can take and they can use because they melt those down to blocks of aluminum and re-sell on websites. 

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22 hours ago, t*rminated said:

lol nice. She did talk me into that and we did split a few times. She was very adamant about it and was getting a little upset that I wasn't making her pay on anything. So I was like "Oh what the h**l. Go ahead." and I let her pay for her food and I paid for mine on one or two dates. 

 

Like different how?

When I was using Tinder and going on all of these dates. I always paid and then I'd never see some of these g*rls again. So I was starting to get frustrated because I felt like some of those g*rls used me to get a free meal. Some of them were interesting and I guess I they lost interest or found to be boring. But some of those g*rls I wasn't up for another date either. That's all just part of the territory looking for that ONE person that can make you happy. You may have to go on 15 dates before you hit it off. 

Me too. If I don't feel connected to the person I'm seeing. I'm probably going to be less motivated to keep trying. One girl I just slowly quit texting or calling because she made it like she was hardly ever available. She always answered my calls and texts. But I felt like we were going no where. We weren't s exually active with each other. That wasn't the issue. She just came off really dark and seemed like she had some issues that were at play. She wasn't forthcoming with me or open on a lot of things. She didn't give me the assurance that I could trust her. So it wasn't encouraging. So I have no regrets there. I did see her a few weeks after we quit talking and she was with another guy. It makes me wonder if that had som*thing to do with her behavior when she was seeing me. I know some women will date or go out with more than one guy before they make a decision to commit to a relationship or some kind of a relationship. 

Yes! hygiene is a big deal for me too. I saw this girl for 2 days and I don't think she knew what a stick of deodorant was. She was a cleaning girl at a hotel. She was barely getting paid. There was also the issue that she had 2 k***s and apparently what drove me away was that she mentioned that there was an active and on going case with DFS. She seemed like there was som*thing going on with her. So I quit talking to her. I didn't really want her to become my problem because it seemed she was looking for a way out and I didn't want her moving in with me or me having to suddenly support a 3 more people. I just felt like I avoided getting taken advantage of. 

My girlfriend is big on tipping. That's important to her as well. I'm not the best at math. But I think it's like 15 percent.  So on the debit card receipt I let Madi write in the tip amount for me. If there's an option on the machine. I'll just press it. 

I've never had that happen before. When I'm on a date. We always keep to ourselves. Unless it's someone we know from work or run into a friend then okay. That's fine. 

Same. Either toss it or burn it. One thing I don't believe in is recycling. A lot of countries dump stuff that was advertised to be recycled in the seas and oceans. China lies about it. So does India. My brother in law lived out in the country and he and his wife always burned their trash. The cans you can take and they can use because they melt those down to blocks of aluminum and re-sell on websites. 

I've never dated someone with k***s before. Not very appealing. And if you could smell that lady's funk and you didn't like it, you were probably mismatched anyway. When you smell a suitable mate your pheromones perk up and magnetize you to that person. I remember one of my exes coming back from a multi-pitch wall climb and he was rank. It was intox*cating.

Tipping is crucial. I've worked in the service industry in one way or another for like a decade now. A lot of these jobs are run by d*ckbags who prefer a high turn-over rate so they never have to give raises, don't offer benefits, and f*ck with your hours. On top of that, most jobs demand you take the ab*se of entitled Karens and Chads looking to spend as little as possible. The Group-On people tend to be the worst. If you don't have the money to tip, then you can't afford to eat out. One city I worked in had a fb group dedicated to warning restaurants and bars about sh*tty customers. I tend to tip 20-30%, sometimes I'll buy the kitchen a round... Having a nice customer can really help a shift go by.

Littering is cringe. Gotta apply the campsite rule everywhere you go: Leave No Trace. 

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5 minutes ago, Kilo said:

I've never dated someone with k***s before. Not very appealing.

It's not for everyone and even if you have k ids of your own. Dating someone else who has them too can still be unappealing. Especially if their parenting m*thods are leagues different from your own. They might complain how you parent and trust me. I had this girl who was a former stripper from California complain about how I was parenting her 2 year old daughter. I never disciplined her. But she griped on how I was holding her. I found her criticism to be insulting. Here she is a new mother and here I am a seasoned father. I walked out on her. She was disrespectful on a lot of things. 

I have 2 k ids myself. A daughter who is 11 and my son who is 9. They're old enough to be independent and I was strict on them when they were younger. Their mother hated my m*thods. I only repeated what I learned from my mother and my stepfather growing up and applied some of those qualities to my parenting m*thods. My k ids are quiet. When I say jump, they ask how high. They're really good k***s.

One girl I really liked turned out she had 9 k***s and wanted to move in the first day and I was like uh...."are you kidding me!?  I don't have that kind of room. And by the way. I just met you!" 

I was out on that one. If I ever become single again. I'm open to dating someone with a k*d. I have before. But I'm also out on anyone who has a c***d with severe autism because of the last girl I was with. I didn't have the patience for it and he scared my k***s with his tantrums. This k*d would literally scream and rage and I knew he had autism and I get it. But I just don't have that kind of patience. I never openly complained to her about it. I only saw her under a month and it wasn't that kind of relationship. It started out on Tinder as what she wanted "friends with benefits"  and then she got attached. Her father was living with her helping with her son and she wanted him out and wanted to move me in. I wasn't yet fully divorced at the time. I dropped her. 

So I was out on that too. 

But than I met my girlfriend and she likes my k ids. She's good with them. She buys them things. But she doesn't want k ids of her own. She had a traumatizing m**********e from her last marriage which she has brought to my attention a few times. 

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8 minutes ago, t*rminated said:

It's not for everyone and even if you have k ids of your own. Dating someone else who has them too can still be unappealing. Especially if their parenting m*thods are leagues different from your own. They might complain how you parent and trust me. I had this girl who was a former stripper from California complain about how I was parenting her 2 year old daughter. I never disciplined her. But she griped on how I was holding her. I found her criticism to be insulting. Here she is a new mother and here I am a seasoned father. I walked out on her. She was disrespectful on a lot of things. 

I have 2 k ids myself. A daughter who is 11 and my son who is 9. They're old enough to be independent and I was strict on them when they were younger. Their mother hated my m*thods. I only repeated what I learned from my mother and my stepfather growing up and applied some of those qualities to my parenting m*thods. My k ids are quiet. When I say jump, they ask how high. They're really good k***s.

One girl I really liked turned out she had 9 k***s and wanted to move in the first day and I was like uh...."are you kidding me!?  I don't have that kind of room. And by the way. I just met you!" 

I was out on that one. If I ever become single again. I'm open to dating someone with a k*d. I have before. But I'm also out on anyone who has a c***d with severe autism because of the last girl I was with. I didn't have the patience for it and he scared my k***s with his tantrums. This k*d would literally scream and rage and I knew he had autism and I get it. But I just don't have that kind of patience. I never openly complained to her about it. I only saw her under a month and it wasn't that kind of relationship. It started out on Tinder as what she wanted "friends with benefits"  and then she got attached. Her father was living with her helping with her son and she wanted him out and wanted to move me in. I wasn't yet fully divorced at the time. I dropped her. 

So I was out on that too. 

But than I met my girlfriend and she likes my k ids. She's good with them. She buys them things. But she doesn't want k ids of her own. She had a traumatizing m**********e from her last marriage which she has brought to my attention a few times. 

My son has moderate autism but he gets therapy for it

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7 minutes ago, Allycat said:

My son has moderate autism but he gets therapy for it

That's good. Some k***s who have it are really well behaved and then you have those that have really bad outbursts that are volatile and unpredictable. 

You know really. My mother, my ex wife, and my girlfriend  suspect that I might be slightly autistic myself. I'm just told that I display some awkward mannerisms. They don't say what. Maybe it's my facial expressions or how I talk er I don't know. But they've also said that it was never a problem. 

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Just now, t*rminated said:

That's good. Some k***s who have it are really well behaved and then you have those that have really bad outbursts that are volatile and unpredictable. 

You know really. My mother, my ex wife, and my girlfriend  suspect that I might be slightly autistic myself. I'm just told that I display some awkward mannerisms. They don't say what. Maybe it's my facial expressions or how I talk er I don't know. But they've also said that it was never a problem. 

I have aspergers myself I have my own quirks but I'm not violent I'm just socially awkward 

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Just now, Allycat said:

I have aspergers myself I have my own quirks but I'm not violent I'm just socially awkward 

I'm socially awkward for sure. I don't connect with a lot of people in the way that I see other people connect when I observe my colleagues out on the floor laughing and acting like they're best friends. I don't connect like that often. I wish I could. 

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1 hour ago, t*rminated said:

I'm socially awkward for sure. I don't connect with a lot of people in the way that I see other people connect when I observe my colleagues out on the floor laughing and acting like they're best friends. I don't connect like that often. I wish I could. 

That's exactly how I feel too

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