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Getting Divorced


Nicka
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Hello, I hope i'm posting this in the right place.

My wife and I are getting divorced, it's really painful, especially because there's no monster to blame, we're just too different and don't always get along. This is why it's so much more painful. In two days she'll leave and i'll stay alone at home... Even the thought of it scares me.

I would really appreciate some words of encouragement or even some tips.

P.S there's no reverse for us.

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4 minutes ago, Nicka said:

My wife and I are getting divorced,

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I was married for almost 12 years and we didn't get along. 

5 minutes ago, Nicka said:

it's really painful, especially because there's no monster to blame, we're just too different and don't always get along. This is why it's so much more painful. 

Eventually. EVENTUALLY. When enough time passes. You're going to be happy that you are divorced. It's normal for you to feel ambivalent about her. You're going to go through some stages. It's different for everyone. 

8 minutes ago, Nicka said:

In two days she'll leave and i'll stay alone at home... Even the thought of it scares me.

Loneliness does s*ck after a while. You'll find someone else soon enough to help you move on if that's what it takes. I started dating and seeing other women before my divorce was finalized. We had both separated and lived in different apartments months before I started. I couldn't stand being alone. 

 

10 minutes ago, Nicka said:

I would really appreciate some words of encouragement or even some tips.

Even if it is truly over. Spend some time with your friends and family. You will be hit with all kinds of advise. Just take the advise that you feel most comfortable with. Maybe see a therapist to help you get through it. Take a year to yourself if that's what you need to get over your wife. I took at least 7 months. When you're ready. Load up Tinder or go on Plenty of Fish. Start seeing other women. It REALLY does help you to move on. 

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1 hour ago, t********d said:

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I was married for almost 12 years and we didn't get along. 

Eventually. EVENTUALLY. When enough time passes. You're going to be happy that you are divorced. It's normal for you to feel ambivalent about her. You're going to go through some stages. It's different for everyone. 

Loneliness does s*ck after a while. You'll find someone else soon enough to help you move on if that's what it takes. I started dating and seeing other women before my divorce was finalized. We had both separated and lived in different apartments months before I started. I couldn't stand being alone. 

 

Even if it is truly over. Spend some time with your friends and family. You will be hit with all kinds of advise. Just take the advise that you feel most comfortable with. Maybe see a therapist to help you get through it. Take a year to yourself if that's what you need to get over your wife. I took at least 7 months. When you're ready. Load up Tinder or go on Plenty of Fish. Start seeing other women. It REALLY does help you to move on. 

Wow, that was really powerful and helpful.

Thank you very much! 

I'll probably come back to read your reply again when things get tougher.

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19 hours ago, Nicka said:

Wow, that was really powerful and helpful.

Thank you very much! 

I'll probably come back to read your reply again when things get tougher.

No problem. Words alone aren't going to make you feel better. It doesn't matter what me or your parents tell you.

You're gonna be hurting for a while. H ell, you may be relieved she's gone. There's no telling how fast you'll recover. 

Mind if I ask which one of you filed for divorce first or is this just a separation with the divorce having been asked for?

In Missouri. A divorce is 600 dollars by an attorney. It's cheap if you don't own any property or have c******n. It's even cheaper if your spouse doesn't appeal it with her lawyer. If c******n and property is involved. It could get as high as 5 thousand dollars just for the custody battle alone. 

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1 hour ago, t********d said:

No problem. Words alone aren't going to make you feel better. It doesn't matter what me or your parents tell you.

You're gonna be hurting for a while. H ell, you may be relieved she's gone. There's no telling how fast you'll recover. 

Mind if I ask which one of you filed for divorce first or is this just a separation with the divorce having been asked for?

In Missouri. A divorce is 600 dollars by an attorney. It's cheap if you don't own any property or have c******n. It's even cheaper if your spouse doesn't appeal it with her lawyer. If c******n and property is involved. It could get as high as 5 thousand dollars just for the custody battle alone. 

Yes, I understand that words alone won't change anything but they at least give you the motivation to take action and actually change som*thing.
We haven't signed or filed anything yet. She's leaving the country in a couple of days and we're gonna find lawyers that gonna take care of this thing in the distance. In terms of property we don't really own anything, she owns a car that she can't take with her, so I'm gonna sell it and send her the money. We've split everything equally, but I prefer that she takes everything she can, because I wanna have fewer things that remind me of her. Fortunately, we have no k***s.

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53 minutes ago, Nicka said:

We haven't signed or filed anything yet. She's leaving the country in a couple of days and we're gonna find lawyers that gonna take care of this thing in the distance. 

That's good. Neither of you own property. Neither of you have  k ids. If she's getting a lawyer to file.

Why do you feel you need to see a lawyer too? 

The only time you personally would need a lawyer is if there's k ids and property involved. You would have to appeal her lawyer's terms on those two things if you didn't like them. Seeing as neither of you have those issues. Only one of you needs to see ONE lawyer to file and sign those papers. Once you sign. The judge will sign them in chambers. Meaning you most likely won't have to go to court. 

If one of you refuses to sign. It goes to court. She can still get divorced without your consent. It'll cost her more money to have it done though. 

So I would talk to your wife about seeing / sharing a lawyer  and signing those papers together. It'll go much faster if you both agree to work together. It'll cost less too because the lawyer will charge to have one of you served. The less you two work together, the more you have to pay. 

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6 minutes ago, t********d said:

Why do you feel you need to see a lawyer too? 

We live in Europe. And when we were trying to figure out how to get divorced we were told that we need lawyers NO MATTER what, with or without k ids and property.
I'll find a lawyer once we're separated and hopefully he/she will guide us both.
I honestly have no idea how this whole thing works.

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4 minutes ago, Nicka said:

We live in Europe. 

Europe. Well that changes everything. Laws are way different over there. I thought you were in states for some reason.  My bad. Anyways.  I wish you 2 the best. 

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