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Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/27/2021 in all areas

  1. I'm probably going as something. Lol.
    7 points
  2. 4 points
  3. So depression... it's really draining right? It takes away from you being happy, it makes it so, at times, you don't even want to exist (or maybe you feel that all the time) but I feel like my sadness has gotten to the point where it's just... part of me. If I try to take medicine, to make it go away, I don't feel so sad, but I still feel like there is no meaning... like it's all literally random, our lives... us even existing was the result of a dice roll essentially... like how did you wind up in your mom's egg over the millions of others? Random mostly. What I'm saying is... if it's all random, and we're just blades of grass, tiny little things... and I feel sad, I feel that lack of meaning... med*cation doesn't make my awareness of our lack in meaning go away... it just takes away that feeling... So there I am, not feeling sad, but still knowing... I should feel sad... because being sad means I care, that I wish there was meaning, that a life with more purpose is something worth achieving and that I earned this sadness through my life experiences that got me here... I've been diagnosed repeatedly, always a different version of depression... Major depressive episode, chronic depression, adjustment di*ord*r etc - and yes, in South Korea, I was pushed to the absolute edge, the darkest place of depression... but I'm just wondering... if depression was ever really the enemy... maybe it's just honesty. To take med*cation, to escape this honest reflection of the things I've been through... I mean, I was so full of hope and had big dreams before I shipped off to Texas, then Oklahoma, then South Korea... and slowly but surely, so many pieces of me died... because of my experiences... so what do I do? Just... act like that never happened emotionally? Just numb it so I can live, pretending things aren't the way they are? Life is beautiful so many days... and I can feel that... but this lingering reflection on our existence - the deeper meaning and reality of our lives... this isn't something for a pill to solve... it's something for me to give attention to, to talk to, and to grow from. When you find a problem, you don't just throw a blanket over it and hope it goes away... you address it the best you can. You accept your reality. *sigh* Just my feelings right now.
    4 points
  4. So I get sad for seemingly no reason a lot... like, my first real plummet into depression happened Nov 14, 2007... it was... crazy how far it got... but ever since, I've just been... going back to this dark place... where I feel so sad and I don't know exactly why in the sense that it's not like there is one thing on my mind pulling me down. I guess it could kind of be like... I got really wounded, and haven't healed... and the sadness... while I don't think about how it happened in the first place, I still feel the left overs of what happened before... Thing is, this pain... I tried a medicine recently that got rid of that feeling pretty fast... it lasted for a few hours and... well... I kinda missed the feeling... that sinking sensation in your chest, that feeling that you're going to break down crying... that feeling that you're falling apart. I've had that feeling for so long that I feel like... without it... I'm not even really alive... as if in my current mental state of meaninglessness... when I lose that sorrow... not only do I still feel things are meaningless, but I don't even feel sad about it anymore... so it's just meaningless absent of sadness... and what is that? That is even worse... because at least when you're sad, you know you have something of value, and that is feeling... raw, deep, sinking... heavy weighted depression holding you down, keeping you grounded. It's so complicated that even reading my own thoughts... I would struggle to understand if I wasn't living it. Anyway... do you ever get sad for no reason? Have you ever felt like sadness wasn't the enemy after all?
    4 points
  5. not today satan not tomorrow either
    4 points
  6. Should be less than a week... yo mine was chill AF, I did it awake and didn't use any of the d***s they gave me ~ I'm so cool guys, look at me guys.
    4 points
  7. Just another day, having fun, out and about.
    4 points
  8. "My body my choice" goes right out the window when you're a danger to people outside your body.
    4 points
  9. I did a lot... but I don't want to share any of it.
    3 points
  10. 4. I haven't been sleeping & I'm just - "just". I'm visiting my loved one's resting place in the morning, 5 year anniversary of another I miss you. I guess that's all. Wish you all a good rating. 🌟
    3 points
  11. Have you? And if so what does it feel like? And is it uncomfortable to wear?
    3 points
  12. I kinda wonder how people are attracted to animal faces or bodies... why is that a thing? Like when you see a dog jump up and pant with their tongue out... are you like "YEAAAAHHHH!" Lol.
    3 points
  13. Some of you may have missed this, but Eugenia Cooney is apparently still a hot topic according to the Tweets from Keemstar and other YouTubers... right now Keemstar seems to have the position that Eugenia Cooney is just this helpless person who is the target of unjustified criticism --- Now for the live stream where multiple people came forward saying Eugenia Cooney helped put them in the hospital: The general concept is this: If a YouTuber is a driving force behind countless people winding up in the hospital, the YouTube staff should review their content and take responsibility. This was never really a matter of debate. Eugenia Cooney has caused countless people to wind up in the hospital due to her highly disturbing videos where she glorifies starvation. Not sure why Keemstar finds it appropriate to play Devil's advocate here when lives are at stake. You don't need to look for more than seconds to find countless people who have suffered because of Eugenia Cooney's very public pro-*** lifestyle. In fact on this very forum there are people who have starved themselves in the past due to Eugenia promoting fasting/self-directed EDs. Anyway... someone had to say it. A lot of the people criticizing Eugenia Cooney who are now getting in trouble with Keemstar over it, were heavy critics of the Onision channels in the past --- but guess what? That doesn't make them wrong. Eugenia Cooney is a serious danger, a real danger, a person who fueled the hospitalization of countless people (Just read her comments extensively - thousands of people saying they find her starved body inspiring? Having that body cuts 25 years off your life, average.) Jaclyn Glenn was right to have Eugenia Cooney put in rehab, now Jaclyn Glenn is demonized for it? Why? Because the professionals agreed with Jaclyn... are all of you smarter than licensed professionals? Typical internet. Again, these people are not friends of the Onision channels, but that doesn't mean I have to sit here and say they can never be right. Pretty much EVERYONE who criticized Eugenia is right to criticize her. No question in my mind, she is one of the most lethal/dangerous creators on the platform. But don't take my word for it - ask around, look around, see how many people were inspired to literally starve themselves because of her flaunting her starved body in front of them. Everyone wishes Eugenia well, but Eugenia wishes no one well, not so long as she's triggering them to harm themselves as she consistently and relentlessly does every other video and Instagram she releases. I don't care if you don't think humans should joke about serious issues. Live in the real world. See the light and the dark. Appreciate the night and the day, see the world for what it is, all of it.
    3 points
  14. 3 points
  15. I had to for work, but I don't have any halloween events to casually dress up for other than that.
    3 points
  16. Don't judge me lol, but I've never had one. I've been asked out but it was always by guys I wasn't interested in and usually when I like someone, they're already taken or don't like me back. It's ok though, I don't care about dating and being single. I make jokes about being single, but it really doesn't bother me.
    3 points
  17. Yes, I'll be in a good mood one day and then feel depressed the next for no reason. I feel like I have more days where I'm depressed than days where I'm in a good mood. Now I do have some reasons for feeling sad, such as overthinking things or feeling disappointed with certain situations. Then the sad feeling will stay unless something improves my mood or I suddenly feel happy the next day. I think another reason I get sad is because I wish I had more in my life, like more money or more things to do. I'm grateful for the life I have, but I wish I could be happy with it at the same time. Idk what my problem is lol.
    3 points
  18. 1. If you could live in any sitcom, which one would it be? Friends. Unlimited coffee and never having to work! 2. What was your high school locker? Didn't have one 3. If you had your own talk show, who would your first three guests be? Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Karl Marx. Then watch them fight it out 4. What is the scariest thing you have ever done for fun? Probably a drop tower which itself was on top of a 1600ft tower 5. If you can instantly become an expert in something what would it be? ch*ld care 6. If you could eliminate one thing from daily routine, what would it be and why? The need to brush my teeth. If they were perfectly white and clean, it would save time 7. What is your real favorite movie, and what movie do you pretend is your favorite to sound cultured? Say Anything, and Bicycle Thieves 8. What is the best gift anyone's ever given to you? Say Anything on VHS haha 9. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? "Why is the alarm ringing?" 10. If you could visit any place in the world and where would it be and why? India. I've been to loads of countries, but India has been top of my list for many years 11. What chi'ldish things do you still do as an adult? Watch Disney cartoons 12. If you were a type of jeans, what type would you be? Overly long ones with legs that sc**** along the floor 13. If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Sleep 14. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Capitalism 15. What is something you can do better than anyone else you know? Flip beer mats off a table and catch them 16. What was the most embarrassing thing you have done on a date? Having to end one early because my ex trying to get into my apartment 17. If you moved to Sesame Street, who would you want as your neighbor? Why? Cookie Monster, I love baking 18. Would you rather have a rewind button or a pause button on your life? Pause. Rewind would be too much 19. Would you rather have no internet for a week, or without your phone? Without a phone 20. Would you rather listen to music from the '70s or music from today? '70s for sure 21. Would you rather be filthy rich and live 400 years ago, or be middle class today? Middle class today. I wouldn't be able to eat tacos 400 years ago 22. Name the person in the room (or in the comments) that you could assume is best dressed. bones xD 23. What was the most awkward romantic encounter you've had? When I was in Japan, I went out with this one girl to a thrift shop. We ended up getting matching christmas sweaters. then we went out to a really tourist-y forest, and we had a load of people taking photos of us together. The awkward thing was we were actually going out with each other. We were just two friends hanging out, and the matching sweaters were a complete coincidence 24. Would you rather put a stop to war or end world hunger? I imagine stopping all wars will lead to more focus put on ending world hunger 25. What do you think the secret to a good life is? Just satisfaction
    3 points
  19. "candid" selfie lol 😆
    3 points
  20. 3 points
  21. You ever notice how if you don't share the same beliefs as another person online, suddenly, for a lot of people, it is now their mission to pick apart your beliefs? Been there, done that, accomplished little. Lol.
    3 points
  22. 1. Favorite Halloween themed song? Monster Mash! 2. Do you get scared easily? Not really, but I get shocked fairly easily 3. Would you ever go to a graveyard at night? I have done, I used to live next to one, and walking through it was the easiest way to get home 4. Do you have to watch something happy after watching a horror movie so you can go to sleep? No point in watching a horror if I did haha 5. If you could have a spooky Halloween pet (black cat, owl, bat, rat, wolf), what would you pick? I already have a black cat, so I guess a bat, they're way cute
    3 points
  23. You can run, or you can face challenges & grow.
    3 points
  24. I can’t come to work today because I’m gonna have a lot to work with and I’m so sorry for that but I’m just not trying anything to work with you. LMAO Nobody knows this but it’s just not that good thing for you. Tonight I will hop on my broom and get ready to head over there tomorrow.
    3 points
  25. I'm wondering when Onision is going to get one with a marriage proposal. 🤣
    3 points
  26. This is a topic I know all too well about. My mother had alcoholic-cirrhosis of the liver and her liver was practically dead so she was eligible to be put to the top of the list to get a transplant. We had a post-operative plan in place, and I was her primary caretaker and health contact. She wasn’t supposed to d*e. The disgusting hospital she was transferred to (apparently has the best liver team in NJ) gave her an infection from the food they fed her. Since no liver function, your kidneys go. She would be on dialysis for 72 hours at a time and it was not ridding the infection. She was in the ICU for a month before passing. She ended up bleeding internally overnight and I received a phone call asking if I should intubate her or let her pass peacefully. I was only 23 years old and knew nothing of this. I couldn’t believe there was nothing more they could do - I had to make the decision because she had no living will and I was the only one she listed to make decisions like that on her behalf. I went to the hospital right away and they told me she most likely would not survive the intubation and they recommend letting her pass in peace. I was frantic, I couldn’t believe they couldn’t do more. I was her everything. And she was mine. It hurt the most when the cirrhosis took over her brain function (similar to dementia) and she would only speak French to me or consider me a nurse, not her daughter Bonnie. It took about 9 hours after they pulled the plugs for her to pass peacefully with her in my arms. Now, how to deal with this? Find a support group, a confidant, someone you can vent to without any judgement or comments like ‘get over it already, it’s been x amount of time’, or ‘don’t worry, we all go someday. it was their time’. Actually, no it wasn’t. The only thing that helps me is when I am in conversation with anybody, I speak about my mother daily almost as if she is alive. It makes people feel more comfortable bringing her up to me. And it makes them feel less awkward. Talk about them. Don’t erase them. Become their legacy, keep their name ALIVE. As for grief, it will always remain. But it does get easier to cope. If I even read about my mom or go on her Facebook I cry. It’s okay. Don’t let others make you believe you should be over it. If you need anything, I am here.
    3 points
  27. Weird... TikTok is being glitchy for me.
    3 points
  28. Got my hurr cut 💇‍♀️💇‍♀️
    3 points
  29. 3 points
  30. Newbie here, hey 🙂👋
    3 points
  31. It is split off from 3 books I think one of them has at least 500 pages. I never had the chance to watch the original or read the books, but geez. I was hoping it would pick up. It sort of stayed at the same pace.
    2 points
  32. I always thought your username was cool ever since you joined here 🙂 I've been wondering the meaning of it lol
    2 points
  33. I wore red contacts to high school once. No one liked it. I got a lot of negative attention from people. So I took them out.
    2 points
  34. 2 points
  35. Very obscure French poster for Fist of Fury
    2 points
  36. I've got a pretty good disney vhs collection, around 36 at the moment. I'm planning on getting all the feature length disney animated films
    2 points
  37. My first thought was "I'm 100% the first to d*e" Was pleasantly surprised.
    2 points
  38. Not today Satan, I am currently away from the office 😅 Libra, this month is a great time to start the process, but watch out for people who want to play with their own head....🙃🙃
    2 points
  39. I've been wondering about the relationship of money to happiness... if you could... say below what you are (Lower, middle or upper class) and how happy you are overall with your life (out of 10) Me personally, I'll speak strictly within the context of having a lot of money to having a little... So when I was very well off, my happiness overall was like a 6/10 --- since then basically nothing has changed, my happiness is about the same despite losing the wealthy aspect of my life... For me, money has no connection to happiness outside maybe having the ability to pay medical bills etc. Important to stay health you know? So what is your happiness level and your social class? What do you feel about this?
    2 points
  40. Taken on Sunday. Hellllloooooo.
    2 points




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