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Having An Existential Crisis Is Normal?


Onision

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So, I did some research on stomach disease and discovered smoking and drinking can be the cause of it... word to the wise, do not do that, do not drink, do not smoke.

With that out of the way, (also eat your fruits and veggies and do not be fat, fatty) ha-ha... ugh. With that out of the way I want to talk about some stuff... you know those rant videos I do? The "hey look at me I'm a YouTuber blah blah" videos? Well... I can accomplish much of the same thing I do in those videos, only typing is kind of easier. I mean it is easier in the sense that there is no real video editing, and word editing is normally accomplished automatically through Microsoft Word (which I get for dirt cheap because yay, perks) ... (wait did that sound condescending? I mean I am cheap... ugh never mind)

Awkward Season 4 GIF by The Office

Anyway, I was thinking about life today, and normally I would plop down in front of a camera and rant about whatever is on my mind but in such a huge way I am kinda sick of it?

Like I don't really like ranting or "Getting real" anymore... I don't like those long talks about reality because I don't think my mind can take being the center of attention anymore as if my face, my voice and everything that comes with who I am is som*thing to stare at and engage in deep thought...

When you have a deep conversation with someone, it should be one on one... when you have a deep conversation with an audience... it feels too personal. 

A lot of people for some time viewed me as a "cult leader" because when I was 17 I started a site where I said we should all worship and protect the Earth and I came up with some pre-Harry Potter Dementor concepts (more or less) that seemed rather supernatural... ha yeah, so people saw that as a cult and then when I started talking about deep concepts like what my beliefs were, empowerment etc., again, came off as a "leader" or what my personality profile calls a "protagonist" ~

Image 001.jpg

Point is, I don't want to lead people because (1) I can't stand most people and (2) that's no fun at all.

But I actually got to go because I need to spend time with someone I love... and my shower for the day is almost here. I was going to make this blog a little deeper but that's ok... we'll leave it here for now.

The point is, I just wanted to talk about why I think I might shift to blog format for serious conversations... and I wanted to go in more depth but duty calls.

I hope you enjoyed this talk, I hope you enjoy my future posts.

I have a face, and most people only see that face... but my mind is som*thing entirely different and I want to exist on that level. I have often dreamed of being a man behind a mask... COVID kinda helped me there.

I do not like being known, recognized etc. and that makes my life rather ironic.

If I am on camera, I want it to be shallow and mean nothing. I want it to be fun and stupid...

But here on this blog? We should be real.

Here is a random nice photo. Your place of peace.

godafoss-1840758.jpg

 

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  • Moderators

Honestly...I love this format and I love getting to exchange ideas and views woth you more perosnally. Talking to someone and getting direct feedback seems much more fulfilling than telling your opinions to a camera.

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  • Administrator
1 hour ago, Sierra said:

Honestly...I love this format and I love getting to exchange ideas and views woth you more perosnally. Talking to someone and getting direct feedback seems much more fulfilling than telling your opinions to a camera.

It feels a bit less stressful for sure. 😄

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  • Moderators

Yeah that makes sense and I always like to read your posts no matter how long they are. I like being able to share my thoughts on them too and this is the perfect place to do all of that.

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  • Administrator
2 hours ago, heyitskaitlind said:

Yeah that makes sense and I always like to read your posts no matter how long they are. I like being able to share my thoughts on them too and this is the perfect place to do all of that.

It had the same feeling for me only I didn't have to think about anything but the message... that was nice.

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  • Elites

thanks for being real with us, James. I really appreciate how brave you are 😄 

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