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  • Loki's Final Episode: Dumpster Fire

       (Overall rating from this review)
    This TV show is like if there was an alternate dimension where only two races of people existed and they were mostly all poorly casted and unlikable. We're woke bro! We're inclusive! Which is why we excluded most every group on the planet! Woo hoo!

    I gave good reviews before regarding Marvel Studios' earlier episodes of Loki featuring Tom Hiddleston as the main role. The trend of positive reviews for Marvel Studios Loki has come to an end, I officially, am mad.

    Marvel Studios did a great job with WandaVision which began really awkwardly and confusing but wound up explaining itself fully throughout the show and ultimately ended with a pretty satisfying conclusion. Marvel Studios Loki however? Completely dropped the ball. A lot of the problem was horrible casting, the main villain was awful (that being the female head of TVA), she was not even remotely believable as a villain and her character consistently made no sense. One example was the poorly cast fat security guard woman visited her office back in time to prove the lead villain was originally a variant, when the variant walked in the room, she burst into a rage demanding to know why these people, who looked like cops, were in her office... but why? Why would she suddenly bust into a rage being a normal person? What was her problem? Who talks to people who look like cops, in their office, that way?

    Tom Hiddleston Crying GIF by Nerdist.com

    Additionally there was the fat security guard/villain hunter who looked like she couldn't do a push up or pull up if her life depended on it but somehow, she was cast as a lead enforcer in capturing Loki, infuriating. Additionally, there was the main focus of the final episode, a man who had the same personality as a homeless person high on crack, fantastic! Absolutely abominable actually.

    Loki and the other Loki, (Sophie?) wind up at the end of time, where time is controlled. Initially boss man says he can see everything that they'll ever do, then he admits he lied and that he has no idea what they're about to do because his vision of the future ended. As usual in typical horrifyingly embarrassing plot hole fashion, they don't explain how this magic man can teleport around (just because he can see the future doesn't mean he can randomly control space and matter) and yet he immediately says he's just a human being, flesh and blood... so again, how are you living on some ozone-less hunk of crap in the middle of the universe without any breathing equipment if you're only human? Why does the area you live in, which seems to be a rock hurdling through space, just see to magically happen to be able to offer the perfect environment for a weak human?

    Tom Hiddleston What GIF by Marvel Studios

    Additionally to all the above, why were there so many humans? You're talking about controlling the integrity of time in the massive Marvel Universe and the closest you get to another species is an alligator with a Loki hat? How dumb! In every Avengers film you have non-human villains, especially when dealing with the destruction of Earth. In Loki, there's the risk of ALL TIME ITSELF yet you rarely see anyone or anything not human. What? WHAT!? So, Humans have time control trademarked? Tell that to Thanos.

    So there is somewhat of a love story that basically sums up A LOT of women and men in general. Sophie at the end proves she's basically a really really bad person, which they point out in the series is ON TOP of her being a mass k*ller. Loki is trying to convince Sophie to not end the random, horribly-cast, crackhead timekeeper dude, because of course he inexplicably cannot see what is about to happen, Sophie kisses Loki and then pushes him through a magic door only to stab the time boss anyway. The controlled timeline as a result burst into multiple branches and OH NO! What does that even mean though?

    After Loki is pushed through the door he acts frantically to try and fix things (for some reason?) only to realize the only person other than Tom Hiddleston who was actually decently cast (that and old Loki) Owen Wilson, isn't actually the same Owen Wilson that he knew before, that crazy backstabbing Sophie pushed him through to an alternate dimension and Owen Wilson at this point doesn't even recognize Loki as anything but an employee of TVA. What?

    Excited Tom Hiddleston GIF by Marvel Studios

    That's the writer's copout, just make up an alternate dimension concept and you no longer need to have any continuity right? Hahah. Just like that, the season ends. There was no real explanation about what is to come next or satisfying conclusion as to why Loki was being punished when countless others who messed with time were not (Dr. Strange, Thanos, Iron Man etc.) and don't give me that "Because it was supposed to happen" crap because it was not. Time traveling is NEVER ok to anyone who works in a facility whose sole purpose is to prevent any changes to the sequence of events in time. Hello?

    There is a controversial complaint I need to make about this show, especially regarding casting, if you were an alien watching this show, you would think literally only black and white people existed on Earth. VERY rarely do you see anyone who wasn't black or white, why? The MAJORITY OF EARTH is neither black nor white, yet this show was not only dominated with only those two groups of people, but the roles they put everyone in made no sense. Literally AN ALLIGATOR got more attention than every person who 23AndMe would say originated from Asia, you know, the highest population continent on the Earth?

    When you pretend to be woke only to cast only two groups of people, you're just another ignorant person, only worse because you think you're not & act like you're doing the world a favor.

    Tom Hiddleston Disney GIF by Nerdist.com

    Limiting yourself to TWO groups of people for casting prevents you from hiring the actors who can actually sell a role rather than being there simply because they had the right color of skin.

    If it were up to me, I would have cast everyone based on their skill level, popularity & fit for the role. The most important of those being the FIT. If you do not fit a role, you cannot play the role, yet the casting director with this movie just literally through the quality of the production into a burn pit and screamed "LOOK AT ME! I'M WOKE!!!" yuck. Just nasty dude.

    There were so many characters that didn't need to be white or black, a lot of the Loki characters should have literally been aliens or straight up cast out of some country where their accent is so heavy you can barely understand them. When you get someone with an authentic/strong accent, that often sells the "alternate world" concept far better, yet Loki was primarily limited to people from the UK and people from the USA, which is just obnoxious and incredibly incompatible with progress/truly immersive content.

    Regardless, Disney Plus as a streaming service is doing far better than Apple TV to say the least. They keep producing new content like Black Widow, WandaVision, Loki and SOUL (which was great by the way!) As far as a love story goes, Loki turned into a total wuss and fell in love with a different version of himself, makes sense for his character, but really awkward feeling. Almost like falling in love with your Aunt or som*thing *coughs* Game of Thrones *cough*

    Freezing Game Of Thrones GIF

    I'm not huge on Marvel Comics (like the literal comic books), so I don't know the literal sequence of events there, I'm sure there's far less direction as far as quality control goes, but now we're in the big leagues which is why in the comics Thanos does it all just to impress Lady Death but in the Avengers he's doing it to "balance" life around the universe so people stop starving/suffering as much as they do... and that is a plot that makes more sense than doing all that to impress a woman, but still, why not just double all the resources for life, rather than cutting life in half hmm? Or at the very least reduce the number of resources all life requires to live comfortably, either way, problem solved. My point is, why were they a bit better with the Avengers plot but so sloppy with Loki? Like I didn't even understand the point of it all at the end.

    The whole concept was that some basic nasty-breath nerd created the TVA to stop people from messing with time, but what made him live as long as he did? What gave him superpowers only to lose them randomly? Why was there such a heavy focus on humanoid time and not the rest of existence? Are we saying only humans can figure out time travel? Because the Marvel Comic Universe disagrees if that is the implication.

    Ultimately most the show was a mess and didn't make sense. Additionally, the existence of the TVA is a joke because if they really wanted to correct timelines, they would just prevent time travel mechanisms from being created, that would actually explain why we don't have time travel in general, because there would be a system in place to prevent it from ever happening, but instead, you know what TVA does? THE ABDUCT PEOPLE FROM THEIR TIMELINES AND SEND THEM TO A RANDOM MYSTERY WORLD WHICH HMM I DONNO MAYBE ALTERS THE TIMELINE THAT PERSON WAS ORIGINALLY IN ANYWAYS BECAUSE ABDUCTING PEOPLE FROM THEIR WORLD TYPICALLY IS NOTICED AND SCREWS UP EVERYTHING!?!?!?!

    angry the hulk GIF

    The TVA is a literal oxymoron. They try to stop the change of time, by removing people from their worlds, rather than just taking away their devices and putting them back where they were found, they ironically screw it up themselves while paying hero.

    Case and point, if when Loki teleported out, they should have grabbed his device, sent him back to where he came from, and called it a day, instead they sent him to a foreign location to never be found which created an inevitable split timeline OF LOKI NEVER ENCOUNTERING THANOS ON THE SHIP, THUS NEVER GETTING HIS NECK SNAPPED, THUS TVA CREATED THEIR OWN ALTERNATE TIME LINE NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE OMG WTF!!!! Review over. WandaVision was awesome and Loki s*cked.

    Pros:
    • You can get cast in this show even if you're a terrible fit for the role! Yay!
    • It successfully ruins your faith in Marvel TV shows! Excellent!
    • It teaches you it's important to never believe in anything ever again because if this TV show will let you down, what won't?
    • Apparently even if you are a literal crackhead you can get a leading role. So woke.
    Cons:
    • Loki never made out with Thor.
    • Loki cried, what even? Aren't you the guy who caused the end of countless New Yorker lives?
    • Owen Wilson wasn't cast as Loki.
    • Michael Moore should have directed it.
    • Should have featured Denzel Washington at some point, that man can make any show look good.

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    I definitely disagree. I think "He Who Remains" was a nice cast; it grew on me towards the end.

    I do agree that the "diversity" in the series falls short. Decades ago we'd only see white people. Now we only see white and black people with the occasional asian. We need more representation. 

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    15 minutes ago, Jeremy said:

    I definitely disagree. I think "He Who Remains" was a nice cast; it grew on me towards the end.

    I do agree that the "diversity" in the series falls short. Decades ago we'd only see white people. Now we only see white and black people with the occasional asian. We need more representation. 

    "He Who Remains" had the exact personality of someone who walks up to you and says "Hey man, I gotta get money for a bus, you got any change!?!?!?!"

    Atrocious levels crackhead energy. Intelligent people typically don't act like they just snorted a line.

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    1 hour ago, Onision said:

    "He Who Remains" had the exact personality of someone who walks up to you and says "Hey man, I gotta get money for a bus, you got any change!?!?!?!"

    Atrocious levels crackhead energy. Intelligent people typically don't act like they just snorted a line.

     

    He's a character that has existed for a millennia trying to discern the ebbs and flow of power. It was even mentioned in the show that he was severely insane. A person sitting in a seat of power for millions of years, with little-to-no exposure to others, with unlimited power to alter space and time...of course he has a few screws loose. That's what they were going for per the lines from He Who Reamins and both Lokis. 

    I...don't even get the crackhead personality. You've mentioned that more than once and I don't see it.

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    19 minutes ago, Jeremy said:

     

    He's a character that has existed for a millennia trying to discern the ebbs and flow of power. It was even mentioned in the show that he was severely insane. A person sitting in a seat of power for millions of years, with little-to-no exposure to others, with unlimited power to alter space and time...of course he has a few screws loose. That's what they were going for per the lines from He Who Reamins and both Lokis. 

    I...don't even get the crackhead personality. You've mentioned that more than once and I don't see it.

    You haven't met a crackhead before? Here you go, here's He Who Remains:


    And if "He Who Remains" has been around for millions of years, how is he human? He said he is flesh and blood, but flesh and blood, in order to function, deteriorates over time. What is the logic behind a "human" existing for that long and not d***g? And don't say "Because time is still where he is" because clearly it's not, otherwise he would not be able to speak, talk or anything else, as his heart would not be b**ting, his blood would not be flowing - he would in fact be frozen in time himself - if the heart beats, the heart deteriorates, which means maximum lifespan would be around 125 years.

    Translation: Loki makes no sense.

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    17 minutes ago, Onision said:

    You haven't met a crackhead before? Here you go, here's He Who Remains:


    And if "He Who Remains" has been around for millions of years, how is he human? He said he is flesh and blood, but flesh and blood, in order to function, deteriorates over time. What is the logic behind a "human" existing for that long and not d***g? And don't say "Because time is still where he is" because clearly it's not, otherwise he would not be able to speak, talk or anything else, as his heart would not be b**ting, his blood would not be flowing - he would in fact be frozen in time himself - if the heart beats, the heart deteriorates, which means maximum lifespan would be around 125 years.

    Translation: Loki makes no sense.

    I've seen many crackheads and, even in the video, the comparison does not apply. I don't feel like you were paying attention much to what was being said, among all of the characters, and focused more on appearances. There's very little similarities between the character and the person in the video you've posted.

    ...and also, in regards to "biology" and "being human", are you really trying to inject reality into the MCU? You're watching a show with a literal God of Mischief warping through alternate realities and you're main issue is...."he can't be human because if the heart beats, the heart deteriorates"? The entire series -- the entire universe -- defines logic and basic human physiology. It's based on a comic book franchise. 

    He Who Remains was more of a...quirky, intelligent 'time lord' losing their grip on reality due to living through countless timelines and being forced to end/subdue himself himself repeatedly throughout the millennia. Paying attention to what the characters say give a better picture of the character instead of just focusing on what's visible. They literally define why he has lost his mind in the first few minutes of meeting the character and flesh out the concept as the conversation goes on. 

    Really all I have to say.

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    6 hours ago, Jeremy said:

    I've seen many crackheads and, even in the video, the comparison does not apply. I don't feel like you were paying attention much to what was being said, among all of the characters, and focused more on appearances. There's very little similarities between the character and the person in the video you've posted.

    ...and also, in regards to "biology" and "being human", are you really trying to inject reality into the MCU? You're watching a show with a literal God of Mischief warping through alternate realities and you're main issue is...."he can't be human because if the heart beats, the heart deteriorates"? The entire series -- the entire universe -- defines logic and basic human physiology. It's based on a comic book franchise. 

    He Who Remains was more of a...quirky, intelligent 'time lord' losing their grip on reality due to living through countless timelines and being forced to end/subdue himself himself repeatedly throughout the millennia. Paying attention to what the characters say give a better picture of the character instead of just focusing on what's visible. They literally define why he has lost his mind in the first few minutes of meeting the character and flesh out the concept as the conversation goes on. 

    Really all I have to say.

    Your logic is that nothing had to make sense because it’s all made up anyway. You should write for a tabloid. Good skill set for that.

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